PTSD and Miscarriage

[fuschia1]

I had a late miscarriage at 19 weeks where my water broke, it been two months now but the trauma is hitting me really hard. We had to decide to terminate the pregnancy because there was no fluid left, baby would have no survived. This was my first pregnancy after an IVF . I am yet to know the reason as why did my water broke . Being away from family and stuck in lock-down is making things worst for me. I have been diagnosed with severe symptoms of PTSD. I don't know when any counselling will be offered to me. I have had no support from bereavement mid wives. I am not sure what is best for me to do. Any guidance, any recommendation will be welcomed.

Hi OP,

So sorry this has happened to you

You may want to check out resources & support at Tommys, especially if you feel you can phone the helpline and speak with someone. I also suffered PTSD after a miscarriage and sadly was fobbed off for counselling and wasn’t aware of any support lines- this was nearly a decade ago, mind.

Here is the link:

www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/pregnancy-complications/baby-loss/miscarriage/support-after-miscarriage

Other than that, keep talking about it, take each day as it comes and look after yourself physically, as well as mentally. It does get better but takes time.

Sorry for your loss. Have you contacted your GP or the midwifery team and asked for counselling? Along with Tommys, the miscarriage association have a lot of advice on their website, along with a phone line you can call.
Take care
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

Thanks @Elouera - I asked my GP and GP asked me to self refer to my local Primary Care Mental Health service. They were the one who did the assessment and said it may take months before could anyone to see me.

Sorry to hear that. Other than the other links you've received, look up private counselling for the interim. That might help till other services open again xxx

Hi OP,

I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my boy at 17 weeks just before lockdown.

Someone kindly recommended the charity ‘Petals’ to me on here and I have been having Zoom counselling with them now for just over a month. I contacted them when I was at my lowest, I couldn’t even speak about what happened and was struggling to function day to day. Honestly, it has been the best thing I could’ve done. Being able to verbalise how I’m feeling and having someone to validate it has made all the difference. I didn’t sleep properly for weeks because I was rehashing everything that had happened but I’m finding now that things are getting easier. I’m still devastated, of course, but I’m learning to live with my new normal.

Sending you strength and a virtual hand hold OP.

@Heartbroken2020 I am sorry for your loss. I pray & hope you find strength with each passing day. I am glad that I came here for help.thank you so much - I have contacted Petals .

@fuschia1 I really hope you find it useful. I was promised all sorts of support when my baby first died but was left feeling very alone and desperate.
I was convinced it might kill me for a while, but I’m doing ok now. The sun is starting to shine again, I can talk about my precious baby boy without feeling like my heart has been ripped from my chest. I promise you will be ok, you just need to hold on.

Do you have any real life support? My partner and mum were so good at getting me to verbalise how I was feeling. I’m sure I’d have sounded nuts to anyone else but being able to verbalise my deepest, darkest thoughts helped me to rationalise them too.

Sending love OP

Hi @fuschia1

I'm really sorry for your loss, I could've written your post because I was exactly the same and lost my baby boy at 20 weeks but my water broke at 19 weeks. It was my first pregnancy too. I decided against the termination but I lost my baby anyways due to an ecoli infection.

As PP has mentioned, Petals charity is suppose to be really good and supportive to parents like us. They are good with getting back at you as well. I had my miscarriage back in November and my bereavement midwife is actually really good and I can still contact her if need be.

As for why your waters broke, it's called PPROM - preterm premature rupture of membranes. I can recommend you contact the PPROM Facebook group run by Ciarra. She has made this fantastic group about women who have had losses and has been wonderful for helping me contact the right people for answers and for the future.

Please do ask questions whenever you are ready and don't hesitate to be persistent to get answers.

If you need any more info/help, please reach out.

I wish you a speedy recovery.
Xx