Just super sad and lost :'(

[Elles1980]

I'm just looking for some positivity if it's around! I started TTC with my new partner last year we fall straight away, had an awful MC at 10 weeks. Severe hemmorage, cervical shock and had to be resucitated and rushed to surgery. Then a chemical. Then a pul, another chemical. And yesterday went for my 12 week scan and there was no heartbeat. They wouldn't let me leave the hospital due to my previous history. Had the scan at 1pm and by 4 pm I was on the gynecology sofa going through possibly the worst experience of my life. Back home by 6pm and I just can't get over it all! Devestated is an understatement as I'm 40 (4 children with my ex) and my oh is 42 (no children yet). The lady who did the scan said there was lots of fluid around the back of the head/neck area but I just couldn't look. It's just so shit, I'm just lost! Will we ever get there, am I too old?? Sorry for the long blubbery post 💔😔

OP I am so sorry for your losses. How heartbreaking for you all.
You're not too old, I don't think.
So sorry again, such a horrible time for you all.
Big hugs and for you xxx

“You don’t get over it but you learn to live with it” That's the best advice I was given. Cry and grieve and take your time (I cried for months). Then when you’re ready, try again. I’m a similar age to you and have a rainbow baby. You can get there

Lots of people (myself included) had a baby over 40 after several miscarriages.
Take some time to take care of yourselves

OP, I’m so sorry. You have been through the wars.
Life I so unfair sometimes.
Be kind to yourself and I really hope things will work out for you in the end.
Have the hospital agreed to do any tests?

Thank you ladies for being so kind to respond! I just don't know what to do with myself 💔😔! I am indeed doing all of the crying today, in bed. IV asked my oh to leave me as he's a sensitive man and I can't bear to see anymore hurt in his eyes, it's making it so much worse!
@Heartbroken2020 they said they will send the baby away for testing. It measured at 11+5 so only passed away a few days before. The other severe miscarriage at 10 weeks was also sent for testing, but came back with nothing. They just said it was bad luck. I'm not sure because of our ages and the fact I have children if they would do anything to help us further, or if I can even go through anymore loss but not knowing anything is just soul destroying. Again thank you all for taking the time out to respond ❤️ xxx

You can go privately for tests. I'm not saying you should, but it's an option.

Ttc is a minefield op.. Sorry for your losses. I had a dc at 43 with new dh. I hope you get your wish op.

@Elles1980 You’re doing the right thing. You need time to rest and to heal both physically and mentally. Do what you need to do to get you through each day.

Not having answers is tough, although I’m not sure it helps if you do either. Either way it’s a heart breaking, cruel thing that has happened to you and your family. Nothing changes that

We lost our baby 8 weeks ago today, his heart stopped beating when I was 17 weeks pregnant. The pain is unbearable now but as you know already, because you’ve been through this unfairly before, it will ease a bit and you’ll be ok. I feel funny writing that advice to someone else when honestly, just a few weeks ago, I was worried I couldn’t go on. Hope for the future will return and I pray you’ll get your happy ending

Thank so much ladies, even just knowing someone can understand the hurt, confusion and pain (although to be honest I wish no one else had gone through it) seems to make it a little better. I think I would like some tests, I'd like to know why this keeps happening when IV already had 4 can children, 4 healthy pregnancies and labours, all natural no problems at all, to this 6 MCs in 12 months 💔😩! My heart can't take it and if it's me I'd rather know so I know to stop putting my oh through this. He would be the most incredible father and I'm so sad I just can't do this for him 😭 xxx