I had a silent miscarriage a few months ago, and although I was obviously very upset, I knew I was coping too well. With the lockdown, and all this time with my thoughts, everything that's happened has hit we at once and Im really not coping anymore. I feel like there's a massive hole in my heart, like something is missing and I can't make myself happy no matter how hard I try.
My partner doesn't want to try for a baby for years and it's breaking my heart. I know a baby won't heal my loss, and although I'm not ready now, my whole heart and sole is yearning for a baby.
This terrifies me too. I suffer from severe anxiety and I don't think I can genuinely take the panic of this happening again, if I were to be pregnant.
I just need someone to talk to who understands how I feel. I've never felt so alone, all I can seem to do is cry and wish that this never happened