Help. Miscarrying naturally with strong contractions. Has anyone been through this?

[Doughnut100]

Trigger warning for pregnant ladies, don't read if you are anxious about miscarrying.

Please help me. I was 12w pregnant, bleeding, went for a scan yesterday confirmed baby had stopped growing at 8w. Decided to manage expectantly as don't have to go to work and was already bleeding lightly.

Went home, had very strong contractions last night 930pm-midnight. Pain was unmanageable, too bad to leave the bathroom and go to A&A. Contractions a couple mins apart. But was not passing much blood at all, still light flow. 8pm took paracetamol & ibuprofen. 10pm self medicated 10mg diazepam, not prescribed.

midnight fell asleep, contractions stopped. Suspect it was the diazepam? Woke up 830pm slight contractions starting again. Took 5mg diazepam, ibuprofen & paracetamol. Contractions now 2-6 mins apart but manageable.

I am scared because I'm now about where I was just before it got bad last night. All the EPUs are closed over the weekend. I've been advised to go to A&E if the pain is unmanageable or the bleeding too heavy. A&E is my only route to help as it's the weekend.

What I want is to change my decision to surgical management. If I'm not even bleeding heavily yet how long is this going to go on for with terrible pain before I actually pass anything? But I don't know if they will be able to perform and ERPC/D&C quickly if I go to A&E. I telephoned the hospital and the midwife said they would give me stronger pain relief and confirm that the pain was the miscarriage, and that I could request surgical management. But especially due to covid I don't know if that will happen.

I can't face going through this pain for a long time at home. I'm tempted to take more diazepam as it seemed to stop the contractions last night. But will be delaying the inevitable. And maybe they will only take me seriously at A&E if I am in bad pain.

Sorry if this is too long and rambling. Has anyone been through a similar experience and can offer any advice? Thank you in advance. x

@Doughnut100

I think he prescribed the Naproxen because he was thinking how to stop your (in his mind) "period pain" which Naproxen or Ibuprofen would work for that, however as you have realised this would be counterproductive in your situation.

It is up to you but I would leave the Naproxen because of the risk of things not resolving for you and associated risk of infection plus needing surgical option to resolve over next few weeks if things do not resolve naturally.

Handhold op I had a mmc at 14 weeks baby measured 10. The pain was unbearable (some pains were worse than my real labour contractions) I lost alot of blood and I also had a massive bit of tissue stuck in my cervix which had to be removed by a dr and then I miscarried the baby and the bleeding slowed down. So sorry you're going through this xx

My heart breaks for you 😢

I went through a similar situation 2 years ago . I don’t have much advice except to go to A&E if you feel you need to. I know the feeling of wanting the baby out of you . I called my GP crying that I wanted it surgically removed but she convinced me to give it a week to see if I could pass naturally. And I did .

The passing aspect of my miscarriage lasted 2 full days of painful contractions on again off again . My first night was so painful I went to A&E at 1am and thank goodness I did ! They were fantastic and gave me codeine . They also checked my cervix and found tissue was caught in it which was causing my contractions to be stronger . I was worried they sound make me feel stupid for going in for something so small but that was not the case at all .

I did not bleed a lot , mostly passed blood clots and tissues. This is tmi but I passed the placenta fully in tact and that shocked the hell out of me as I had not heard of this happening to anyone and even online I could find very little info on it . I never did see the embryo. I imagine it was just too tiny to see or it was caught up in tissue/blood clots .

Stay strong ❤️

So sorry you are going through this. I did the same at 12 weeks after 5 days of bleeding, Once the contractions started like everyone else I was shocked how bad the pain was. I contracted strongly all night and passed the sac in the morning. The pain then stopped immediately. I would say the most important thing is to watch the bleeding and if it increases a lot get yourself an ambulance. If nature does its job you will physically recover quickly.

Pain is intense, I needed gas and air and morphine for mine and let me tell you, I’m as hard as nails, nothing bothers me usually but that I couldn’t handle.

I couldn’t speak the pain was so bad, I am adamant that I was feeling contractions.
As soon as I had passed “it” the pain stopped like someone had switched a switch off.

I was told it would be like a heavy period with period pains.
My arse, it was horrific every time.

@MichelleOR84 I am surprised that your GP persuaded you to continue miscarrying naturally when you asked for surgical management and were crying. How did you feel about that response?

I am still bleeding quite lightly, and was on codeine & paracetamol yesterday still feeling contractions but very manageably. Today I am going to switch back to diazepam because it seemed to stop the contractions altogether.

My hope is that if I can make it through today without my body deciding otherwise, I am going to call the EPU first thing tomorrow and beg for surgical management. I don't know how covid-19 will influence their answer but they didn't say it was off the table when they told me my options.

As this would be my second ERPC/D&C, I have slight concerns about the effect on my womb lining but I can't find any very clear information about that. But I just can't face the pain if it returns as it was on Friday night. And I can't face the prospect of having to effectively give birth, or to see our baby or the sac. Not that the idea of the baby being disposed of in a hospital incinerator is much better. I would like to bury my baby really but I also can't face it. (Apologies for using the word baby because I know this is different to a still birth for example, but this is the language I feel.)

After my last ERPC I was managing ok until I came round after the operation and was suddenly so low I can't describe. I think a similar thing is happening now as I am so preoccupied with the question of how and what is happening that I am not fully feeling the loss. I have found it impossible to tell anyone (I have a weird situation where my entire wider family on both sides knows because of other people's well meaning blunders.) Dealing with their reactions is more emotional work than I can do. It is every woman's decision, but after three losses my opinion is now firmly that telling people before your 12w scan is a bad idea. My first time I was just so excited and the threat of loss didn't seem real, I told loads of people! But now, innocence gone... you can always tell them after a loss if you need support. But the burden of obligation to share with people you don't want to talk to at your lowest ebb is shit. And having to listen to their well meaning but hurtful responses is the worst. Once people know, you can't control whether you want to talk about it or not because they will bring it up at the worst moments with empty platitudes because they just don't understand at all. Even with the people I'm close to who respond well, it still feels burdensome to have to tell them.

Sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant! Thanks for listening to me and for sharing your experiences, sorry for all your losses. X

@Doughnut100 I was okay with it actually. I wanted the embryo out for emotional reasons but deep down I knew the best way was naturally . At that point I had started to lightly spot and my GP thought I would pass everything soon . She was right and 4 days later I did .

I’m really sorry you are going through such a hard time. It’s still a baby regardless , even if it’s an early miscarriage.

I don’t tell anyone I’m pregnant now, even family, for that exact reason. And this next bit is so sad but for me I don’t want to tell people because they will congratulate me and I don’t feel deserving of congratulations until after the first trimester. It’s like my pregnancy isn’t real until then .It’s so sad , I know . I hope nobody feels how I do because every baby deserves to be celebrated right away 😔