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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Finding it difficult to cope with miscarriage and breakup

2 replies

Alina23 · 12/04/2020 21:35

Hi,
This is my first ever post and I am so nervous. But I feel like I need to put it out there and maybe it will help me to cope. A year ago I met this incredible guy, we became very close friends and been dating for the past 7 months. Hovewer when we got together he instantly changed, he became overbearing, over the top with everything, I didn't recognise him, he was so in love and it made me anxious because I was worried once that wears off what would I actually get. He treated me so well and I was not at my best behavior and I can't even explain it, my gut was telling me to stay away but I couldn't. I did hurt him which I deeply regret and I've apologised so many times but I couldn't make it right. I say things before I think and I've upset him a lot.
2 months ago we decided to split up as it wasn't working, take a break but we just couldn't stay away from each other. He turned into a completely different person again, angry, snappy, iiritable all the time, judging me all the time.
2 weeks ago I found out I was pregnant, it was an accident but we were not on the best terms. He was happy though but one day we were in love and happy and 2 days later he was telling me I should consider myself lucky he didn't bail even though kids is all he ever wanted with me in the past. Then few hours later he told me he doesn't hate me but he's not in love with me anymore but he loves me. I got so upset and I had some cramps and a little blood. Calling him all night and he completely ignored me. Said to ring the hospital. Then he started telling me he wants that child half the time when he or she is born but wants nothing to do with me. 2 days later I had a lot more blood and I completely lost it, I had a nervous breakdown so worried I've lost it, he just sat there and wouldn't even give me a hug when I begged for it. I went to the hospital and got it confirmed, I lost the baby. I was devastated and all I heard from him was that he doesn't love me anymore and it's all my fault that our relationship didn't work. I am in pieces now and don't know how to move on and what to do. I thought I got everything I ever wanted and now I've lost my baby, the man I love and my best friend all in one go and I don't know how to cope. We also work together so that's hard as well.
How can you love someone one day and stop few days later? How can you say all those thing just after a woman lost your baby? I can't accept it and I feel crushed. I don't know how to get up and move on from this. I feel like it's all my fault, if I was more relaxed and less anxious I wouldn't ruin our relationship and I would not lose my baby.
Thank you for reading ❤️

OP posts:
Mollie3 · 13/04/2020 20:28

Hi, this man is toxic and has a personality disorder. So sorry you lost baby 💐
Have you got any other close friends you can confide in?
Really you are better off without someone like that. Even if you stayed single forever it would be better than being with someone whose mind changes every day about how he feels about you and feelings in general too.
I think you had a lucky escape, although it may not seem like it now.
X

Alina23 · 15/04/2020 10:34

Thank you! I know I got lucky in the grand scheme of things. He wasn't like that at first, the first 5 months he was so sure what he wanted and I had constant doubts, I just had this weird inner feeling that something is off. And when he got 'tired' his mind went all over the place. I thought he was the best man I know but all he does is srit petty things in work. I'm just in shock.
I am sad about the baby, I have dreams about it but I know that this situation has been given to me to gain some perspective and really see what's around me and see the reality how it is and not how he created. I understand it all in my head but not my heart just yet. I feel sad and lonely.
I have people I can call but with this corona lock down can't see any of the friends which makes it so so difficult to cope with x

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