Going back to ‘normal’
SkyBlue20 · 12/04/2020 14:16
A couple of weeks ago, at my 12 week scan, I was told that I’d had a missed miscarriage but that I had to wait two weeks for another scan for them to confirm it. During those two weeks I carried on as I was - taking my pregnancy vitamins, not drinking alcohol, etc. Not too sure why, it just felt like the right thing to do, even though they had made it clear the follow up scan was to tick a box only and there was no chance of any other outcome.
I had the follow up scan on Thursday and was told that my pregnancy sac was still measuring at 9 weeks but that there was no longer a foetal pole - baby had been reabsorbed by my body (which I quite liked). I have to wait another week to see if I pass the sac etc naturally and go back on Thursday for another scan and to discuss medical options if not.
Anyway, after that, I felt like I should (and want to) start getting back to ‘normal’ as much as possible, so over the past few days I’ve had some glasses of wine, a few foods that aren’t recommended in pregnancy but would usually have been a part of my usual diet, picked back up my non-pre-natal yoga and today went for my first run since I found out I was pregnant.
As much as I do want to get back to as much normality as I can whilst we’re still waiting for the appointment and everything else that comes with it, I’m finding that each time I do something I couldn’t/didn’t when pregnant, it’s making me really quite sad. I felt SO guilty having my first glass of wine and have just come back from a run and just feel low rather than that high you usually get afterwards.
How did everybody else find going back to ‘normal’ after pregnancy loss? I’m sure it’s just a matter of time being a healer but would really appreciate hearing from others that have sadly been through it/are going through it and can just reassure me that it’s normal and I’m not alone. I don’t think this whole lockdown thing is helping either - what I’d give to see my mum!
Thank you xx
FruitTwistFanta · 12/04/2020 16:42
I’m sorry for your loss
I had a mmc 6 weeks ago, found out at my 12 week scan that the pregnancy hadn’t developed past about 7 weeks. It was absolutely horrendous at the time, and I thought I would never get over it. However it is true that time really does help, each day that goes by it gets a bit easier.
I still think about it most days but i feel positive for the future. I’m slightly overweight so I’m focusing on losing weight and exercising and trying to just focus on myself. I know how you feel as it feels wrong to almost...abandon your pregnancy routine of not drinking etc but it just takes time to get used to it and feel ‘normal’ again.
SkyBlue20 · 12/04/2020 17:19
Thank you, @fruittwistfanta and I’m very sorry for your loss, too. Yes, that’s it, it feels like you’re abandoning everything you’ve just taught yourself is your new normal and it feels somewhat counter intuitive. I guess each time I do something I couldn’t it’s just a reminder, too, of why I now can. I expect time will be a healer - it’s been a couple of weeks since we first found out and I already feel much better than I did. I’m just ready for this to all be over and to start again really.
I hope you’re doing ok, thank you for sharing your experience with me xx
Poppy10121 · 10/05/2020 14:18
I just came across this thread, thank you @SkyBlue20 for putting into words my feelings! It’s horrible to think of someone else going through this right now but at the same time comforting to know I’m not the only one. Hope you are feeling much better by now
SkyBlue20 · 14/05/2020 17:53
Sorry, only just seen this, @Poppy10121! Hope you’re doing a bit better now and sending love - it’s a horrible thing to go through but just over a month on from writing that post I am feeling much better (not all the time but the majority of it), it’s a cliche but time is a healer xx
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