Missed miscarriage ordeal

[Mazzatron]

Hi Everyone,

I'm currently going through something difficult and wondered if anyone else has been through similar, or has any idea what's going on.

Two weeks ago at my 12 week scan I was told my baby is only measuring at 8 weeks so was a 'missed miscarriage'. They said they cannot offer surgical management currently because of the changes to the service due to coronavirus. They recommended I have natural miscarriage management at home. I’m now 14 weeks. I've had no bleeding or pain at all. I've still got sore pregnancy boobs and intermittent nausea (although that has lessened the last week).

I did a pregnancy test yesterday and it was a v strong positive. I'm aware the hormones can remain in the body after the baby has died but according to the scan the baby died 6 weeks ago - that's the longest I've heard it taking from my research.

I now want a second scan incase there has been a mistake and intend to phone my EPU tomorrow asking for this.

I wasn't holding out any hope until a couple of days ago when I started to really feel this doesn't add up. I** am aware that even if the baby is still alive there is likely something badly wrong with it for it to be so small.
I'm positive my dates are correct.

I also had a miscarriage in November but it just happened spontaneously at 11 weeks.

Has anyone been diagnosed with a MMC at a similar stage to me and it turned out to be a misdiagnosis?

I know I might sound deluded but I can't help how I feel today.

Thanks for reading my post.

I'm sorry this is happening to you and I understand your uncertainty but if the baby was measuring 8 weeks and no heartbeat was detected then I'm afraid the chances of the pregnancy being viable is unlikely. I had a mmc too and it was discovered 6 weeks after the baby had stopped growing. It distressed me a lot to know that the pregnancy had continued as long as it had but sadly your body can hold onto the pregnancy for quite a while. A friend had a blighted ovum and she still hadn't bled by nearly 16 weeks so needed a d&c. Certainly seek a second opinion for your own peace of mind though, you have to do what's best for you. Did they offer you medical management with tablets? I had that for another mmc I had and took the tablets in hospital but then went home to miscarry.

I'm sorry you went through that also. They didn't mention medical management. They just said natural management is the recommended option for me and I accepted that. I will ask about it when I phone tmw.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me.

I have had two missed miscarriages. Currently still going through the second one so can completely sympathise. With my first the baby had stopped developing at 6ish weeks and I found out at my 12 week scan (I started spotting that day) the lady asked me if I had A recent positive test which obviously I hadn't taken a recent one as had no reason to. I went home and took one and that test still showed positive so I can say I'm my case it was over six weeks and still showing as positive. It's just so bloody cruel to have it all snatched away.

With my first I had a natural miscarriage and it was fine (as well as these things can be) this time around I also opted to have natural miscarriage. However I didn't pass everything. I had two lots of pesssaries which failed and then a D&C which I didn't need a general anaesthetic for which I was grateful for. I'm slowly getting there now.

I would always try and go for a natural miscarriage if you can. Can they not offer you the pessaries? I understand wanting to keep people out of hospital currently but that is fairly quick and then you can go home?

I also forgot to say how sorry for you I am, I hope you're ok x

Thank you for sharing that and I'm so sorry you are going through it too.

I would definitely prefer it to happen naturally if possible. How did you know you still had some tissue left behind from last time?
When I had my other miscarriages I just bled and passed the sac and tissue but I wouldn't haven't known if more was meant to come out.

I will see what they advise at the EPU tmw.

Looking forward to getting some closure although I don't want to finally say goodbye to this baby.

What a hard time. Especially with everything else going on at the moment.

Take care
Xx

Honestly I just remembered from the first time I seemed to pass a lot more tissue. I didn't even go for a follow up scan they offered me as I was so confident that I had passed everything. This time I just knew deep down that I hadn't passed all the tissue and they weren't pushing for a follow up scan based on what I said had happened but I said I wanted one for piece of mind and it showed that the sac was still there. I'm so glad I did because EPU were happy to leave me for two weeks to see if nature took its course but I had to take antibiotics as when I went for the D&C there were signs of infection already.

I hope things go more smoothly for you, I completely understand where you are coming from not wanting to say goodbye but at the same time wanting closure.

Please come back and update after speaking to EPU if you want to but know I'm thinking of you OP because what you're going through is truly rubbish.

Take care, I hope everything goes ok and that you have lots of RL support

Xxx

Hi @Mazzatron,

Afraid I have no advice but just wanted to say hi as I'm in the same situation - just short of two weeks ago we were told, at our 12 week scan, that it was bad news and the pregnancy wasn't viable. She said the sac was measuring 9 weeks but didn't mention baby (there was a lot she didn't mention, I'm beginning to realise), though we had a private scan at 7 weeks and saw a heartbeat and measured 6 weeks. Anyway, I was sent away for two weeks and have to go back on Thursday for a scan to confirm (she said it's just ticking a box - there is no hope of any other outcome) and discuss my options. I've had a bit of bleeding over the last few days but it's brown blood when I wipe and not much else other than one instance of fresh blood when I wiped.

So yeah, I just wanted to say hi as it seems we're going through the same thing at around the same timings. Hope all goes ok with the EPU today. xx

Hi @Mazzatron so sorry to hear about what you are going through. It’s a hard enough time in the world at the minute never mind with your added problems. I am in a similar boat after an early bleed and a couple of early scans on Friday I was told it looks like the baby has no heartbeat and they were leaning towards a missed miscarriage (dating at 7 weeks) but I am sure I am more 8/9 weeks. Have to go back in 2 weeks time which is mental torture. If I was you I would still press for something to be done as I have the worry that I will end up in the same boat and if our baby has gone I want it gone ASAP so we can move on with our lives. I am really struggling which is hard as I am normally such an upbeat person. I hope you get the closure you need I can totally relate to what you are going through it’s awful 😞 xxx

Hi @mazzatron my baby stopped growing at 6 weeks and I had the miscarriage at 11.5 weeks. Started with the tiniest bit of blood until three weeks later I passed it. Still felt ill and had pos preg tests saying 3+ weeks. I'm sorry you're going through this especially at this crazy time. Let us know what happens x

Hey guys sorry I don't know how to tag you! I've only just started using Mumsnet, thank you for your messages and sharing your experiences. I'm so sorry you are also going through this.

So here's my update, I called up the EAPU on Monday and the miscarriage nurse looked at my scan notes again and said there was definitely no heart beat, confirmed by two sonographers. She said they are trying to keep people away from the hospital as much as possible because corona is 'really ramping up' so they still can't offer me surgery. She recommended I wait 7 more days to let it happen naturally but also said if I can't cope emotionally before then I can go in and have another scan and tablets.
I'm going to do that tomorrow. I'll be 15 weeks pregnant then and still had no bleeding or any sign of it happening naturally. I don't want to get to 4 months and still nothing has happened, I need to move on.

I could have gone Monday or today for the scan and tablets but I couldn't face the scan and being told my baby is dead again. Still felt traumatised from the last time but I'm ready now.

This is only my experience and I'm sure not all EAPUs are running the exact same way, probably depends where they are located and how much corona has impact on them etc. I hope anyone else can get the help they need. I know that a lot of theatre space is now being used as an extension to intensive care which is why all non-essential surgery has been cancelled. I understand that. It's tough but it's not life or death for me, it could be for someone with coronavirus.

I'm still holding onto the tiniest bit of hope it's all been a big mistake... I know logically that's stupid and impossible but at least tmw when they do the scan I'll be fully prepared for the bad news and ready to let go. Not like last time when it was such a shock.

Thanks to you all for your support x

Hi so I've got a further update. Went in today to get the medication for medical management. They did another scan and found the foetus was looking similar but the placenta tissue had grown quite large. They are now suspecting molar pregnancy so they have put me on the day surgery list for tmw.
They can't guarantee they'll be able to do it tmw but will keep booking me on each day if not.

I really just want this to be over. Will have to wait a 2-4 weeks after surgery to find out if it was molar or not (they analyse the tissue).

@Mazzatron I'm
Sorry your going through this.

I'm so sorry to hear of the awful time you're having. Didn't want to read and run. Sending you lots of love and hope the surgery goes as well as these things can tomorrow. X

@witchysticks @October2020 thank you xx

@Mazzatron so sorry...I hope you are ok (or at least will be ok once you can move on) I feel the limbo part as worse. As horrible as it is at least when you have the answers you can deal with it and move on on some way. I have another scan next Friday so still a waiting game for me 🙁 hoping for the best but realistically expecting the worse. Hope you can take some comfort in knowing you aren’t the only one going through this xx

Thanks @Vikki90

I hope you get a good outcome from your scan. There is always a hope but prepare for the worst just incase. Let me know. Thinking of you waiting, it's very hard.

@Mazzatron yes easiest way to set my mind although not sure how I will actually feel in that moment if it is the worst news. Just keep trying to tell myself everything happens for a reason...and it’s awful for anyone to go through but the fact it happens to so many people is actually giving me some comfort. Hope everyone else in this group is ok..@witchysticks @SkyBlue20 @sleepytimebaby xx

@Mazzatron I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this, I hope they do get to see you tomorrow and good luck.

@Vikki90 So sorry you have another week to wait - I’m in tomorrow after a two week wait and it’s just torturous, isn’t it?! I’m similar to you though it sounds like my midwife was a lot more definite about baby having gone and although I KNOW it will be the same result as last time, you can’t help but hope for the best. I’m sending you all of the positive vibes 💕

I think I’m going to ask for surgical management if they’re still doing it but am prepared for the fact it’s likely to be medical, which I really don’t want but do understand in the current situation.

Urgh, this whole thing is awful, I’m so sorry that so many of us have to go through it. Sending hugs all round. Xx

Good luck @SkyBlue20 and @Vikki90 ... I really hope you both get a better outcome than me. I kept thinking that sometimes they do make mistakes, it's rare but it does happen so why shouldn't it be me? And why shouldn't it be you guys too.

If it's not good news you will get through it. Like I am. Although I'll always be sad about this I know I'll feel differently from the heartbroken and frightened way I feel today. I'll feel different in a few weeks time, and different again in 3 months, and in 6 months etc. It's a cliche but time is a healer.

It's such unfortunate timing with the pandemic going on, we can't visit friends or family for a hug or do the nice things to help us feel better.

All the best guys xxx

Thanks @Mazzatron. I have A tiny glimmer of hope inside of me but logic dictates that the outcome won’t change - the sonographer was very clear that tomorrow is just to tick a box, unfortunately.
hope you’re feeling as well as can be and not too worried about tomorrow - just think, it’s a step closer to being able to start feeling a bit better. Like you say, time is a healer. I really wish I could see and hug my mum though! Xx

I’m just on my way back from the hospital. As expected, sac remains at 9weeks, however no foetal pole to be seen anymore - seems my body has reabsorbed it, which I quite like, it’s nice to think that baby will stay with me in some way and not have to worry about passing it.
Due to COVID-19, they want me to leave it another week to see if I pass everything else naturally and I have to go back for another scan next Thursday to see what’s what. After that, if nothing has changed, they’ll discuss options with me. So more waiting but I feel some kind of peace knowing that baby has gone in what I feel is quite a gentle way.

@Mazzatron Let us know how you get on today, sending hugs xx

Hi @SkyBlue20

Sorry to hear the sad news and sending hugs. I hope the baby passes naturally soon and you can have some closure and start to heal.

I had my op yesterday, i actually found it all a bit traumatic, I think especially because of Covid-19 having to go through it all alone, and in the theatre seeing everyone around me wearing the full PPE before they put me under, I felt like I was in a science fiction movie. My mind was very active since and I've hardly slept but think I'm coming back down to earth a bit now.

They diagnosed me with molar pregnancy and I have to have more tests in 3 weeks and will be monitored. Just hoping my levels go back to normal and there are no remaining cells which is what can happen with a molar.

Thanks @Mazzatron 💕

Glad everything went well yesterday, can imagine it was very scary with everyone being so suited up and being alone. Did you have to wait a long time before you went in? How are you feeling today both physically and mentally? I’m here to chat if you want to. What will your tests in three weeks be for? Xx

@SkyBlue20 thank you

Luckily I didn't have a long wait, I had to go to the day surgery unit at 7am and I was in theatre around 11:30. So relieved they were able to fit me in after saying they couldn't guarantee it.

With a molar pregnancy some cells can remain in your womb and they can build up and spread which ultimately isn't good. So they monitor you for a few months with blood tests to check your HCG levels which will tell if the cells are still there. Sometimes further treatment is needed and sometimes it all clears up by itself. You can't TTC for 6 months which is a bit of a blow but tbh I've lost two babies in the last 6 months and it's been a bit much so maybe a break won't be so bad emotionally either. I'm 38 this year though so don't want to leave it much longer.

Ahh glad you didn’t have to wait too long, @Mazzatron. How’re you feeling today?

Completely with you at being frustrated by having to wait six months but also agree that an emotional break might be good, especially with everything else that’s going on in the world at the moment, too.