Hi all
I have been dreading writing this all out but I know I need to in order to get over my heart break, even though it has been some time since I loss my baby boy.
So this is going to be long, please bear with me and let do reply if you've had anything similar.
I was 19 weeks pregnant back in November 2019 when I felt a pressure in my lower pelvis. I then felt a bit of brown discharge and went to the hospital at the advice given over the phone.
They did a speculum check, everyone was quite calm before then. Did a urine test and everything.
The junior doctor who did a speculum check, her face turned a bit white when she looked and then looked at me. I instantly knew something was wrong. The midwife with her told me to stay down and that she'll be back.
She then wheeled in a wheelchair and told me I need to be admitted. I was elevated on my bed, legs high in the air.
I was told my membrane were bulging and that I could have my waters break any time. The consultant told me she'd like to do a rescue stitch that same night. Me and my husband processing this all, agreed to try and save our baby.
I was given epidural and as I was laying down, I felt my waters go. I don't remember much other than I was hysterical and just wanted my husband with me.
I was told I would go into labour soon. Nothing happened and I was kept for few days to monitor. Nothing changed so they told me to basically prepare to lose my child and gave me some antibiotics to prevent infection getting in. My cervix at this time has closed, and remained closed.
A week later I woke up with extreme chills and sweats, I remember there was flooding up north where I live. We were told to come in, this was in the middle of the night and so I went at 7am, wearing many layers of clothing due to being so cold.
This was Friday 15th November, I started feelings pains around 11am but just wanted to sleep. This pain got worse after I was shifted to a room and continued to get worse. I knew deep down this was labour pains. The consultant with me at that time kept telling me before the labour started she wants to induce because she's worried.
I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy at 3:30pm on Friday, he was just so tiny and precious.
It has been tough few months with conflicting thoughts, guilt, emptiness and many overwhelming emotions.
My due date was today and I felt that I wanted to share so maybe someone could share their story and the success in the future pregnancies.
I have been sent letters saying everything was perfect and there was nothing wrong with me or the baby. My bloods are clear, I have no underlying health issues. However from reading some stories online, I've come to realise that perhaps what I had was a weak cervix issue? I don't know why the consultant hasn't pointed that out in the letter? Anyone here had something similar?
I'm so sorry for the long post, but I felt in order to get proper support and advice, I needed to share all the information.
Many thanks
H