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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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My First Pregnancy loss ~ need some hope and positivity

7 replies

Mysleepingangel · 01/04/2020 20:41

Hi all

I have been dreading writing this all out but I know I need to in order to get over my heart break, even though it has been some time since I loss my baby boy.

So this is going to be long, please bear with me and let do reply if you've had anything similar.

I was 19 weeks pregnant back in November 2019 when I felt a pressure in my lower pelvis. I then felt a bit of brown discharge and went to the hospital at the advice given over the phone.
They did a speculum check, everyone was quite calm before then. Did a urine test and everything.
The junior doctor who did a speculum check, her face turned a bit white when she looked and then looked at me. I instantly knew something was wrong. The midwife with her told me to stay down and that she'll be back.
She then wheeled in a wheelchair and told me I need to be admitted. I was elevated on my bed, legs high in the air.
I was told my membrane were bulging and that I could have my waters break any time. The consultant told me she'd like to do a rescue stitch that same night. Me and my husband processing this all, agreed to try and save our baby.

I was given epidural and as I was laying down, I felt my waters go. I don't remember much other than I was hysterical and just wanted my husband with me.
I was told I would go into labour soon. Nothing happened and I was kept for few days to monitor. Nothing changed so they told me to basically prepare to lose my child and gave me some antibiotics to prevent infection getting in. My cervix at this time has closed, and remained closed.

A week later I woke up with extreme chills and sweats, I remember there was flooding up north where I live. We were told to come in, this was in the middle of the night and so I went at 7am, wearing many layers of clothing due to being so cold.
This was Friday 15th November, I started feelings pains around 11am but just wanted to sleep. This pain got worse after I was shifted to a room and continued to get worse. I knew deep down this was labour pains. The consultant with me at that time kept telling me before the labour started she wants to induce because she's worried.

I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy at 3:30pm on Friday, he was just so tiny and precious.

It has been tough few months with conflicting thoughts, guilt, emptiness and many overwhelming emotions.

My due date was today and I felt that I wanted to share so maybe someone could share their story and the success in the future pregnancies.

I have been sent letters saying everything was perfect and there was nothing wrong with me or the baby. My bloods are clear, I have no underlying health issues. However from reading some stories online, I've come to realise that perhaps what I had was a weak cervix issue? I don't know why the consultant hasn't pointed that out in the letter? Anyone here had something similar?

I'm so sorry for the long post, but I felt in order to get proper support and advice, I needed to share all the information.

Many thanks
H

OP posts:
Britannah · 01/04/2020 23:09

I’m so so sorry for your heartbreaking loss Flowers Although I haven’t gone through this myself (I have suffered a miscarriage so understand to some extent the pain you are going through!) a close friend of mine lost her baby girl at 25 weeks due to an issue with her cervix. She has since gone on to have two beautiful children and although she has needed a stitch put in her cervix for each pregnancy, she has been monitored closely and had reasonably good pregnancies and births. I hope this gives you some hope at this truly awful time. Sending a big hug xxx

Mysleepingangel · 02/04/2020 00:25

Thank you @Britannah for your kind reply.

Was your friend diagnosed with weak cervix when she lost her baby girl?

I'm hoping mine is the same story as your friend's, I had a lovely pregnancy up until I had my loss

Love
H

OP posts:
Heartbroken2020 · 02/04/2020 11:48

@Mysleepingangel I’m so sorry you are going through this. I too lost my baby at 17 weeks almost 3 weeks ago so can relate to the pain you are suffering. It is the worst, like nothing else I’ve ever known.

I can’t really offer advice as my baby’s heart just stopped beating but I suppose it must offer some reassurance to know you have no underlying health issues.

I can so relate to the feeling of emptiness, and the general rollercoaster of emotions. Sending you loads of love Flowers

Britannah · 02/04/2020 21:17

@Mysleepingangel I believe with her first pregnancy they found her cervix was too short and consequently that was why she sadly lost her baby but I’m afraid I don’t know much more than that. Would you be able to get a second opinion on this? I think you should take promise in the fact they haven’t outlined glaringly obvious issues but it may put your mind at ease (or as much ease as it can!) to get some advice elsewhere. ❤️

Mysleepingangel · 02/04/2020 21:33

@Heartbroken2020

I'm so sorry for your loss, love 😔 3 weeks is so soon. You are so brave to be sharing this ❤️

I find peace in knowing that it was meant to be like this however I feel very sad every time I think about my baby.

I know we will get through this ❤️

Big hug for you

OP posts:
Mysleepingangel · 02/04/2020 21:37

@Britannah

I did go to my gp and when she read my file she said it looks like a cervix issue and it would be kept under care next time and not to worry to much. I know and I'm not worried, but it would help to get reassurance from the consultant who dealt with me with all of this to say that it will be taken care of next time.

My consultant has said she would be happy to keep me under her observation next time so maybe it would be my cervix she'll keep an eye on?

I'm not able to talk to my consultant at the moment due to the situation but I will try and talk to her later. Thank you for advice and sharing your friend's story.

Love to you
H

OP posts:
Britannah · 02/04/2020 23:51

They absolutely will keep a very close eye on things next time and your consultant sounds like she will look after you well. You are in my prayers and I hope you have your beautiful rainbow baby soon xxx

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