Trying to conceive

[littlebabybumm]

Posted on conception yesterday but didn't really get a response so trying on this board!

Would you delay TTC until this whole coronavirus thing calms down?

We suffered a stillbirth recently and want to try again after our consultant appointment (depending what they say and if it's safe).

I don't know I'm insane to even consider it.

Very sorry to hear about your loss. I'm 13 weeks pregnant, we suffered a second trimester loss in October. I know the desire to get pregnant again is so strong after a loss...it was all I could even think about. I really would recommend waiting until this starts to blow over a bit. It's very scary to be pregnant right now. All of the private clinics are closed and the NHS is beginning to cancel non-essential scans, so you wouldn't have any choice but to wait until a 12 week scan to see if your baby is okay. Many of us aren't able to have our partners at any scans. That would have been really tough for me after our loss.

Even if you hold off until June/July when things are expected to calm down, it might be a bit easier for you! ❤️

@otterbaby thank you, and sorry to hear of your loss too. I'm also sorry things so difficult, but congrats on your pregnancy!

Are they offering you more scans and check ups since you had a late loss?

It's strange, at the beginning I thought I would never want another child again but the need/want is so so overwhelming.

I think provided there's no underlying issue with me or my husband we will want to try again as soon as we've had our post mortem results but given everything going on I'm a bit apprehensive so I really appreciate your views. Thank you x

@littlebabybumm I was offered an 8 week scan before my 12 week scan for reassurance. I'm also meant to be consultant-led as I'm classified as high-risk, but many of my consultant appointments have been cancelled 😔 at this point, I'll have my 20 week scan and then 32/36, however they have said the last two may be cancelled as well! It's a very bizarre time!

I definitely understand how you feel - it almost feels obsessive, doesn't it? Good luck with whatever you do decide 😊

@otterbaby it really does, it's all I think about. B it then I feel guilty because we're only 4 weeks in and I'm already wanting another. How dare I try to replace my baby? But I'm not trying to replace him, I really don't know how to explain!

Once I've had the post mortem results we will be in a better place to make a decision.

But that's actually really helping my decision to know consultant led care is compromised as that's a bit part of my decision. If I'm kind of "left to it" that's really off putting.

Trust me, I know how you feel! Confusion over wanting another baby but not wanting to replace her...fear of this all happening again... Each milestone we hit with this one makes me feel grief and anger for my daughter. But I just keep reminding myself that this is their sibling and the love I feel for them won't change the love I feel for her.

I can't speak for every hospital, but yes, that's something to consider as well. I hope you get your results back soon so you can start healing a bit.