Support during Coronavirus

[Heartbroken2020]

I had a late miscarriage just over a week ago. I am heart broken.

When I was at the hospital I was told I’d get all sorts of support (bereavement midwife would visit me at home then call me regularly etc). I know things are nuts at the moment, I understand, but I’m just so concerned I’m not going to come out of this ok.

I can’t see my family or friends, I’m at home and each day is Groundhog Day. My partner is amazing but I’m aware that I can’t drag him down too.

Does anyone have any tips for being ok?

Many thanks

Hey OP, that sounds really tough.

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/how-we-help/online-support/

The Miscarriage association has online live chat as well as forums where you can go and talk to others who are suffering from loss too. I think the current situation exacerbates feelings of being alone and finding people you can talk to may help.

If you are home alone with DP, then you probably feel that it is not fair to talk to him about it all the time, but he loves you and it is ok to lean on him.

Really sorry for your loss

@Crackerofdoom thank you for your reply.

I emailed the miscarriage association and they replied which was helpful. I just don’t really know what to think/ how to feel.

I found out yesterday that baby’s body hasn’t been sent for the post mortem yet due to everything that’s going on. It seems unlikely we’ll be able to have a funeral either.

I read something that said you feel like you’ve fell through a trap door when this happens, that just about sums it up. I feel stuck, and my mind that was so full of plans and excitement, is empty. I’m just so sad.

'I'm just so sad.'
The only words that seem to capture it. So simple sounding but so profound. I'm very sorry to hear what you're going through. We discovered a miscarriage last week too at what we expected to be our 13 week scan. Do you have a garden? I'm finding that sitting outside and letting my brain be empty except for the feel of the air and the sounds of birds and insects is really helping, in the immediate term at least xx

@kavlarr so sorry that you’re going through this too.

The garden has been a godsend, and the nice weather. I’m trying to get out for a walk each day but I’m seriously lacking motivation. I feel like my life has stood still and I’m now just an observer. That sounds weird I’m sure, but I feel like I’ve lost the old me. ☹️

Hi @Heartbroken2020, so sorry for your loss I also had a late miscarriage back in Nov (found out at our 20 week scan that baby had died at 13 weeks) and was also promised all sorts of support that never materialised due to the hospital being short staffed and being accidentally missed off the list of aftercare. We only had a cremation mid-Feb which ripped open the tiny bit of healing and made everything so raw again. We’re also still waiting for the PM results. I’m so grateful to be 10 weeks with our second pregnancy but all the ‘rainbow’ support I was promised when we were ready to try again has also never materialised and now obviously due to corona access to services is very limited. This has caused so much anxiety as an early scan showed a large heamatoma which makes me bleed in large floods nearly weekly. I’m just trusting that all this will seem like a bad dream when God willing I finally hold baby in my arms.

I totally understand feeling like you’ve lost your old self. A part of me died the day I found out there was no heartbeat and there’s no changing that but 4 months later I can feel happiness again and am adapting to my new self. Sending you all the love in the world x