What to tell work about my miscarriage

[frangipani13]

I've had a hellish two weeks of uncertainly that culminated in a scan to confirm I've miscarried yesterday- but I physically haven't miscarried yet. So far this week I've gone sick 2x days with cold/flu, but I am stressing about what to do next week (I work 3 days a week). It's looking like I will need medical management as nothing is happening, my last mc happened within a day and I was self employed at the time too. My boss is much younger and child free, and whilst she is a good person I'm worried that I'll be perceived differently if she thinks I'm planning pregnancy (I've been in the role less than a year). I've been discriminated against for pregnancy before in another job so I guess I am sensitive around this subject.
What have you all done in regards to explaining your absence from work in these situations? I am driving myself mad here trying to figure out what the best thing to say/do is.

You could say you need a gynecology connected procedure? Vague but enough detail to explain why you need the time off.

Very sorry for your loss

Yes, I thought about that, thank you @lazydaisydaydream. I hate lying so much, it doesn't sit well. As if all of this isn't stressful enough.

My doctor gave me a sick note citing “gastro(something)” so just stomach problems.

Sorry for your loss OP.

The first time I also cited a gynaecological procedure and my boss didn't ask further.

The second time the GP wrote me a sick note and said 'personal reasons'.

No one at work ever found out and I was happier that way as wanted to keep it private.

Thanks so much for you replies. I've told my boss I'm having a gynae procedure next week and she's been really sympathetic and I don't feel completely vulnerable. Just had to cancel my booking in appointment. This stuff doesn't get any easier does it?

Just be wary of covering up the real reason you are off. Pregnancy related sickness isn't counted against you in the same way regular sickness is. Could you not confide in your boss, maybe tell a white lie and say it was an unplanned pregnancy if necessary.

I told my boss as soon as I found out and she was lovely. And made sure I had enough time off. I know not all employers are like that.

And for you. It's not a nice thing to go through, take care of yourself.

I'm sorry for your loss. It can be a difficult time so make sure you take care of yourself.

Personally I told them the truth. I didn't get any particular support from them but I figured that I would have more understanding about return to work dates etc if I did.
Plus I think the stigma around miscarriage should end but I understand that is unlikely to be how you are feeling right now and is also very dependent on your work culture.