I have just found out DS's teacher is not at school because she had a mid-term miscarriage. I had one too and feel compelled to write to her...

[BBBee]

..is this completely inappropiate?

She is a teacher at the school not my friend BUT I know this is quite rare and very hard to relate to unless it has happened.

?????

Not always I mean. That's why it's better I think to leave oneself out of the equation. Unless you're sure of their feelings.

As it was in the newsletter, i.e. she wanted people to know, I think it is a lovely idea.

I think it's highly unlikely to be interpreted in that way, actually.

I'd have appreciated it.

A very kind thought and well meant, and yet I can't help thinking she may want to keep this low key and family only.

I wonder sometimes about teachers. They are very 'on display' to lots of people daily, but they still need the option of total privacy at times like this.

Can I just ask how old your ds is and if he realises what has happened?

When I was doing A levels my lovely maths teacher lost her baby late on in her pregnancy and we, as a class, felt dreadful. We spent the money we had planned to spend on a present for the baby on flowers for her but it was very sad, especially when she later returned to work as I don't think any of us knew what to say or do.

I think as it is public knowledge sending a card would be appropriate and mentioning that you had had a similar experience would also be fine.

Only you can be the judge, going by what you know of her/her personality/how private she is, etc. A good friend of mine (also a teacher) had this happen to her earlier in the summer and she is very open about it. She feels that it helps to talk it through and know how people feel about it too, and it especially helps to know people who have been in the same situation. But everyone is different.

Go with your instincts.