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MMC - Feeling a bit lost

belle365 · 08/03/2020 12:37

I’m feeling a little lost at the moment and feel someone on here who has been through this may be able to help.

I went for my 12 week scan last week and found out the baby stopped growing at 9 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I was given an appointment to go back the next day and go through the options available to me. I decided to go with surgical management as the idea of natural or medical management seemed too traumatic for me.

The surgery was booked for the next day and I was told it would be in the afternoon but someone would call to confirm the exact time. I was given a leaflet that said I could have a light breakfast etc. That day I have a light breakfast and called to find out what time I needed to be there. The staff member I spoke to was so rude and told me I’d missed the appointment and I’d have to ‘sort it out myself’ didn’t give me a telephone number or anything to call. At this point I think I had cried for about 48 hours solid – I was in such a state.

I finally managed to speak to a helpful member of staff who rearranged the surgery and told me to come in the next day and it would definitely be the afternoon. I decided I would skip breakfast the next day in case they were wrong again.

At my first appointment, I was given a letter that said to call if I experienced any pain or bleeding and by 8pm that night, I was in absolute agony. I called the EPAU and they told me to go to A&E.

I have never experienced pain like this in my life it was excruciating, I also vomited a few times then I began to bleed really heavy whilst in the busy A&E waiting room. It literally felt like blood was pouring out of me and the chair was saturated in my blood. My partner went to tell the receptionist this was happening and she gave me a massive pad to sit on. They were so insensitive to the situation.

When I got to see a triage nurse, she called through to gynaecology. I heard the Dr say to her – what does she want me to do tell her to come back for the surgery as planned. This was my first pregnancy and miscarriage, I had no idea if what was happening to me was normal. The pain and the amount of blood I lost was far more than I expected – I always thought a miscarriage was like a heavy period. How wrong was I?

The gynaecology Dr reluctantly came down to A&E and examined me and was able to remove the pregnancy sac. She told me not to bother going in for surgery the following day as it had happened naturally and sent me home, no pain relief or nothing. The pain continued for a few more hours then settled down – it was around 8 hours in total.

I didn’t really get any follow up information except to do a pregnancy test in 3 weeks time so I do have a few questions.

Is this a normal experience for a natural miscarriage? The amount of pain and blood was unreal

This happened 3 days ago and I’m still in pain – is this normal? It kind of feels like a bad period cramp but goes right up my tummy. Usually cramps would just be low down. I’m taking pain killers which is helping but I don’t know if I need to be concerned?

I’ve been resting since it happened but I really want to get back to the gym, is there any reason why I should wait? The bleeding has almost stopped now and I think this would benefit me mentally.

The whole experience has been so traumatic and I’m not really sure what to do with myself now. Sorry for the long post but I don’t know anyone else who has experienced this.

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Mutedgrey · 08/03/2020 13:35

Oh my goodness
How horrendous
It’s an awful thing to go through but on top of that it sounds like you have just been treated so badly. It’s clearly such a time of shock and overwhelm. You just need someone to take the time to explain the process and help you through it.
It makes me really angry. There is just no need for it.
I had the surgical option a few days ago. So I really cannot comment on what is normal or not.

How are you feeling emotionally?

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belle365 · 08/03/2020 15:02

Sorry to hear of your loss, it really is heartbreaking.

At the moment, i don’t feel much emotionally which is worrying as i think it will hit me hard soon.

I did cry for 3 solid days but then i think the pain and the trauma of the actual miscarriage has kind of numbed me.

It’s been a real rollercoaster of emotions. The pregnancy wasn’t planned so we had the initial shock of how we will cope etc. Then excitement and now it’s all come crashing down again :(

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