12 week scan & MMC

[temogemo]

As many others - I went to my 12 week scan this morning, leaving with the news that I have had a MMC.

I'm in shock about, had no symptoms or reason to believe this had happened.

I've chosen to go down the surgical option under GA which I am terrified about as I've never been under GA before but will have to wait until next Tuesday. Obviously I'm aware nature may take its course by then but the pregnancy stopped progressing around 7/8weeks. So I don't know why my body hasn't miscarried naturally already?

I'm just full of questions about why this happened and of cause mourning all the things I thought were coming which will now not be

Well my body is still holding on, so off to hospital this afternoon for what I imagine is a type of pre-op and a time to ask questions

Hope the op went well @temogemo

I’m in a similar situation at the moment, went for 12 week scan yesterday afternoon but i had started to bleed on the morning. The baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. I have to go back today to discuss options.

Absolutely devastating, this wasn’t a planned pregnancy but once we got over the initial shock very much wanted. Don’t know how i’ll ever get over this.

Facebook ads are also killing me right now too!

Hi ladies,

I found out I miscarried on Saturday just gone and I had my scheduled surgery yesterday. I thought I was 11 weeks but when I had a private scan ( because I was spotting) they told me my baby was only measuring up to around 7 weeks. I opted for the local anaesthetic Surgical Management instead of the General anaesthetic ... As silly as it sounds I think I wanted to just be awake for the process as a goodbye to my baby. I had looked forward to the labour process so I think I felt that this was the closest thing to it at the moment ( as weird as that sounds).
The pains I had at home once the tablets wore off was excruciating!! Never have I felt anything like it before but today luckily it has worn off so much.

Has anyone else had the same surgery where you was awake for it, and if so can you tell me your after affects please so I can get some peace of mind.

My thoughts are with us all & hope we never get put through this horrible time again x

Thanks all, surgery all done. Was really not as bad as I thought, back in a few days for an ultrasound to check it was successful.

@RA2716 sorry for your loss and that you are having to experience this. Apologies I can't help give any advice/experience for the procedure where you are awake as I was put to sleep x

Sorry for your loss @temogemo but glad the surgery went well. I had my second SMM yesterday, so I've had three MCs now, 2 MMCs and 1 MC at 5 weeks in between. I have a 4.5yo DD but really worried now that I won't have another successful pregnancy.

I hope you're taking it easy.

@frazzlerock what were the results of the karyotyping if you don't mind me asking? They have sent mine off this time.

Hi @Birchwoods I'm so sorry to hear your awful news.

We are still waiting for our results from our most recent baby. It's been 8.5 weeks now and was supposed to take (up to!) 6 weeks. Our little boy before this one had Trisomy 16 or 21 (I can't remember which) which I understand is the most common reason babies die before 12 weeks. Let me know how you get on.

@frazzlerock oh that's a frustrating wait. Would it be worth chasing them? Do they tell you the sex of the baby as part of the karyotyping.

It's all so heartbreaking isn't it.

@Birchwoods I've chased our miscarriage clinic who have chased them twice now. Apparently there's a delay. It's frustrating though as I'm going to pick up our baby to take home for cremation and I want to do that as soon as possible
Yes they do tell you the sex but you have to ask.

Yes it's terribly heartbreaking. I can't get my head around this one being our last. My last ever pregnancy ended so badly and no rainbow to hope for. It's completely shit.

@Frazzlerock I'm so sorry that's your experience. Will your DH change his mind in time do you think? Have you had any successful pregnancies?

I hope the results come back quickly for you. Do you mind me asking how many weeks you were each time? And what did the clinic say about them being MMC rather than spontaneous MC? Does that mean anything?

I recently came to know about my miscarriage , very devastated and shocked. I feel bit neglected by NHS as i was having bleeding since sometime and they chose to ignore it. I was 12 weeks pregnant and the scan revealed that baby stopped growing after 8 weeks. I have decided to have Surgery but i am not sure if having it in Northwick park hospital is a safe option. Does anyone has any experience of such at Northwick park hospital

@Birchwoods No he won't change his mind now. We are both 40 and 41 so there's no time to hang about now. He has his reasons which are valid, but the pain it causes me is immense and its going to be very hard to carry this for the rest of my life, but its tough shit.

Yes I have two DC from my previous marriage. They are amazing and I am acutely aware how very lucky I am to have them. But there is something that happens when you lose a baby isn't there, like that baby creates a new space and, until that's filled, you feel like something huge is missing.

Three of our babies died at 9 weeks (1st, 3rd, and 4th), they were our three MMC. Our second one died much earlier at about 4/5 weeks and that one was a spontaneous MC.
"what did the clinic say about them being MMC rather than spontaneous MC?" - I'm not entirely sure I understand what you mean, would you mind clarifying? Sorry only just about to have my morning coffee!

@SonalAgrawal I am so sorry for your tragic loss . I have no experience of Northwick park hospital. In my experience, the busy London teaching hospital I had my 1st surgical management at was awful and very impersonal, more conveyor belt style and just all round crap! (I complained and had a good meeting with the head of gynae so I hope it's changed since)
I had my two subsequent babies at Tunbridge Wells/Pembury and that was completely different. Staff very kind and patient, I had my own room and just had such lovely care. Even the operating staff tried to make me laugh and really connected with me on a personal level.

@temogemo how are you getting on lovely?

@Frazzlerock yes it certainly does leave a void. A friend of mine who has no children yet but has suffered multiple miscarriages has recently got a puppy and she has found it has helped her so much, just having something to care for.

Sorry, I wasn't clear. Does having a MMC rather than a spontaneous MC point towards there being a specific kind of problem with the baby/pregnancy/us or is that more to do with our bodies perhaps not recognising that the baby has died?

I've had a letter from the recurrent miscarriage clinic today with the details of all the blood tests I need. It says to get the tests done six weeks after a negative pg test, and they've told me to test 2 weeks after the SMM. It just seems so far away. I'll be 37 in May, my DD is 5 in August and it really feels like the clock is ticking.

@SonalAgrawal I'm so sorry for your loss. It's such an awful thing to go through. I don't have any experience of that hospital I'm afraid but both of my SMM have been fine.

A friend of mine now has two dogs after having a MC. We can't get a dog as we both work full time, much as we'd love one . We also have three cats who would be furious if we got a dog!

Re MMC/MC I don't think MMC points to a specific problem. I think some people's bodies just don't seem to naturally MC until much later, or at all.
Personally I think my body is crap at birthing full stop. My first living baby was 2 weeks late, then I had to be induced, then he got stuck and I had to have an EMCS. My second living baby was breech and I had an elective CS.

Uugghh a colleague has just come up to me and told me she's 11 weeks pregnant - only because she was being sick in the loos the other day and I asked her if she was feeling better. she was moaning about being sick all the time and I was screaming inside "shut up, shut up, shut up!!!" She knows I have lost 4 babies.

It's good that they're doing those tests for you.

Just tagging @Birchwoods in case you don't see my response - I sometimes only look if I've been tagged

@Frazzlerock oh gosh that must've been so hard. It all seems so fucking easy for everyone else doesn't it.

@frazzlerock hiya, the D&C was fine, no blood or cramping. Check up scan showed nothing retained. So I guess that's it now.
Very odd place to be, trying to work out what next. Been feeling like I'm at a crossroads; I can move on and become the best version of myself, better my diet, exercise, mental health etc OR I can let the loss consume me. I know which one I'd prefer but not sure I have the strength right now

I recently came to know about my miscarriage , very devastated and shocked. I feel bit neglected by NHS as i was having bleeding since sometime and they chose to ignore it. I was 12 weeks pregnant and the scan revealed that baby stopped growing after 8 weeks. I have decided to have Surgery but i am not sure if having it in Northwick park hospital is a safe option as i am not very confident of handling in Northwick park hospital. I am thinking about having it in some private hospital. Does anyone has any experience of such at Northwick park hospital

I hope people don’t mind me joining this thread. I didn’t expect to find myself here. Who does?!
I feel like there is a history to it and I don’t know peoples stories so I hope it is ok.

I went for a private scan at 10 weeks and found out my baby had stopped growing at 7/8 weeks. Naturally Me and my partner been devastated.
I had 2 rounds of medication that failed and just had the ECPR a few days ago.

@temogemo like you I was terrified but the procedure when better than expected. How are you feeling now?

I have a few questions I was hoping someone could help with:

• I wasn’t told to take a pregnancy test in a few weeks but read others have. Should

I have been told to do this?

• I forgot to ask about trying to conceive again. Rightly or wrongly this is what I am now obsessing about. Do others think you are safe to try straight away or do you need to wait? I know some say you should wait for dating purposes but is there a physical reason you should wait?

Hi @Mutedgrey physically absolutely fine, slight cramps last night but no blood or anything to worry about. How are you?

I also wasn't told to do a pregnancy test either but from reading others I think I will in 2/3 weeks time just for personal reassurance that the hormone levels have dropped.
And I am also eager to start trying again, they suggested no sex for 2 weeks after surgery just to limit the risk of infection and other then that just to wait for a period in order for dates.

@temogemo
Glad that your recovery seems to be going well.
I had very small pain for a few hours after but since then no pain and small amounts of bleeding. It’s a big relief.

Thanks for the info.

Quick update; it's been 2 weeks since my D&C and taken a pregnancy test today which is negative.

I was totally doing okay; returning to work, getting back on the diet wagon and looking to the future. I was 100% going to make the best of a bad situation and improve myself and try again.

Then the world changed; I'm now back at home isolating as DD4 & DH showed symptoms - seems like a cruel joke, like we've gone back in time. Memories flooding back. My lovely friend had to let me know she was pregnant due to isolating herself for 12 weeks, she felt so bad and I know it's not her fault but man, do those 'why me?', 'We could have had our babies similar times' questions and thoughts ramp up.
Even just the government's guidelines on pregnant ladies isolating themselves just make me think 'should've been me'

So yeah

@temogemo I had a mmc and the surgery at the beginning of January. It was very tough and I was emotional for a good few weeks. I did actually start to feel more myself when the test became negative. I think your hormones play a major factor. Take good care

I can totally relate.
I was thinking of a years time and thinking I could have had a baby then but sadly it wasn’t meant to be 😢
I have days when I’m absolutely fine then other days I see someone pregnant on tv and it just makes me so upset.
Life is so unfair and now with this corona virus!!! Stay strong xx

Sorry to hear about your losses - it's truly terrible. I was managing fine and thought it was something in years to come that I was going to say changed me and made me a better person.
Since the rise of COVID-19 its completely destroyed me, I feel like the guidance is a constant reminder that I'm NOT pregnant anymore.
Its taken away what was my coping strategy - attending Slimming World (now cancelled), eating better (it's a case of buying whats left at the shops now), attending exercise classes (also cancelled). Even wanting to try again is now questionable; is it safe to do so and even if it is - is it fair on the NHS to add another person that would require care when the system is sure to become overrun etc

I feel guilty thinking all those things too

@temogemo totally with you. I also see it as a constant reminder I'm not pregnant and never will be ever again. Our wedding in 3 weeks time had given me something really special to keep my mind busy, but now we're obviously having to postpone the whole day which we've poured our hearts and souls into.
It's one thing after another
I wonder when this shit spell will ever end.