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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Missed miscarriage - medical management

14 replies

Rhubarbe · 18/02/2020 06:27

I found out at my 12 week scan yesterday that the baby had died at 9 weeks. I’ve not had any pain or bleeding and still feel pregnant.
I think I have decided to go for medical management but I’m finding it difficult to decide when to do it. Is it unrealistic to go to work in between finding out and taking the tablets? Does anybody know how long it will take?
Sorry for this thread, just feeling very lost and don’t know where to turn.

OP posts:

Onceuponatimethen · 18/02/2020 06:34

I didn’t have medical management but no I don’t think it would be realistic to go to work. I went to work during my mmc while trying expectant management and now realise I could have had a mc at work (I now know someone this happened to).

The miscarriage association or Tommy’s helpline are there for support - I would give them a call

tallah · 18/02/2020 06:34

Hi love. I had the same and I'm sorry it's awful for you at the minute but I did medical management and do t regret it one bit. As soon as I woke up o could start grieving properly. The bleeding lasted two weeks sometimes got heavier when I wasn't expecting it to so don't be alarmed at that.

I was ok painwise. Period pains for a few hours after but I also felt a bit high when I woke up so it wasn't all bad!

The procedure itself didn't take long I was in and out the same day. The wait before hand was excruciating but not sure what you can do to help that.

Good luck with it all. Please message me if any more questions xx

Onceuponatimethen · 18/02/2020 06:35

I should have started by saying that I’m so sorry you are going through this and sending you an un mn hug - I know how hard it is

tallah · 18/02/2020 06:36

Oh shit am so sorry I realise you meant the tablet not the operation, my bad! Agree please don't go to work in between. It's the mental part of it may hit you there too. X

ErinJ · 18/02/2020 06:37

I'm so sorry that you're going through this - I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks and know how devastated you must be feeling. Can't really offer any advice on the work situation as everyone is different and the medication works differently for different people. I ended up having a d&c as things weren't progressing, I was nervous beforehand but it was actually fine and I had no side effects after. 💐

CatteStreet · 18/02/2020 06:37

I've had medical management, at a similar gestation, though the mc was incomplete rather than missed. The process took a few hours and was uncomfortable at times though not hugely painful - it may be different with a missed mc.

I didn't make an active choice for medical management as such - I wanted it because I had already had several ERPCs and was concerned about the increased risk of adhesions/Asherman's syndrome were I to have another. The ERPCs in themselves were all absolutely fine, though.

Onceuponatimethen · 18/02/2020 06:40

I had surgical management - found it meant I could immediately start to recover physically and actually grieve my loss. The predictability meant I could book it in as well and I was back at work after 7 days.

I was nervous about surgery but looked at the big MIST study on mc and saw there was no fertility difference 5 years later between surgical and medical management

YouFightLikeADairyFarmer · 18/02/2020 06:41

So sorry this has happened to you.

I opted for medical management for a MMC as it was the fastest possible option and I wanted it over with ASAP. In my case it was very quick, passed the sac/babies less than 24 hours later and I didn't need the second follow up tablet. A scan about 36 hours after the first tablet confirmed that everything had gone for me - but it can take longer to work for others, and sometimes it fails altogether.

On your going to work question - that's a very personal decision. I went for medical management immediately, and it was in between Christmas and new year so I was on annual leave anyway, but I was very upset and wouldn't have wanted to go to work even under different circumstances. You may feel differently - but bear in mind that you could start bleeding at any point, and that wouldn't be fun at work - for me, it was far more painful and heavier than any period and I was grateful to be at home.

Is there a reason you want to wait?

Original poster

Rhubarbe · 18/02/2020 07:02

Thanks everyone. It’s really helpful to hear your experiences and I’m sorry so many of you have been through this horrible thing too.
I suppose I’m a bit scared of taking the tablets - I know they give you the ‘worst case’ scenario. Also I feel bad about leaving work in the lurch so thought if I could get through my shifts I wouldn’t have to let them down or to tell them. On reflection that sounds a bit silly and it might be best to just get on with it.
Thanks again

OP posts:

Onceuponatimethen · 18/02/2020 07:28

Rhubarbs I totally get your thinking and that’s how I ended up at work, but think you are right - much better to stay at home

Kyoyo · 18/02/2020 07:33

So sorry you are going through this, it’s such an awful time for you and your partner. I had a missed miscarriage and had surgery on Sunday, I woke up with period like cramps but they have now gone. The reason why I didn’t opt for medical management was due to not being able to cope with waiting for things to happen, and if it didn’t happen fully I would then of had to go through surgery anyway.
I was really worried about going through the surgery but like others have said, it’s over with and I can now move on.
Don’t rush into your decision, it’s a lot to take in all at once - I had a couple of weeks to decide due to complications but I found talking to someone who had gone through really helpful.

Smarties87 · 18/02/2020 15:35

So sorry you are going through this.
I had a missed miscarriage in January and found out at my 12 week scan. Heart stopped at 10 weeks. However, I waited 10 days hoping it would happen naturally but nothing happened, so I then opted for medical management. The wait after finding out is excruciating, and looking back I wished I'd opted for medical management quicker. I didn't want to go to work, but everyone is different. Emotionally I wasn't ready (I work in a nursery) but I ended up having almost 3 weeks off because of the wait after finding out. I went into hospital for the management and had to stay in for them to monitor me. I had the pessaries inserted and felt cramping within a few hours, but pain at that point was manageable. It took 8 hours for me to pass the pregnancy and it was rather painful towards the end, but the nurses were brilliant and offer pain relief. I went in on the Friday and it worked out well as I had support from my DH over the weekend. I bled for 2.5 weeks, I did pass more clots a week after but I was told that this could happen. I had a week off work after the management and I'm glad I did as I was uncomfortable after, and on days where I did over do it, that is when I passed some more clots and had more cramping. Rest is needed! Take care.

Original poster

Rhubarbe · 18/02/2020 21:04

Thanks all. I’ve told work and have planned to do the tablets tomorrow. It was really helpful to hear your experiences and to have some validation that it was ok to not go in.
Un-MN-hugs to all.

OP posts:

YouFightLikeADairyFarmer · 18/02/2020 21:33

Good luck tomorrow - hope all goes smoothly for you

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