Positive stories after miscarriage?
LouLouP7 · 05/02/2020 10:32
Hoping to have your help if possible please?
I suffered a miscarriage on Saturday at just under 7 weeks pregnant after seeing my baby's heartbeat at a scan just a couple of hours before. I'm absolutely heartbroken and finding it really hard at the moment, especially as I have quite a few milestone events coming up over the next few days; I was supposed to be having my 1st appointment with the midwife early next week and following that we were going to tell the rest of our family. Having to cancel that and remove myself from the pregnancy groups I joined has just been so sad.
This was my first pregnancy and we're hoping to start trying again as soon as possible but I think I just need a bit of positivity in my life at the moment. MN is great but I can't help but spend my time reading through all of the miscarriage posts and I'm not sure that's good for me at the moment. I previously got pregnant after the first cycle of trying and whilst I know that's good news, I'm so scared it was a fluke or that I'm going to have problems keeping hold of my little beans in the future. So, it would be amazing if you could share some positive stories/outcomes around getting pregnant after a miscarriage.
Thanks in advance xx
Dirtygirty35 · 05/02/2020 11:35
Im so sorry you find yourself here 😪. It truly sucks.
So, ive had a number of miscarriages following IVF treatment.
I have no problem in getting pregnant but keeping the pregnancy is challenging.
I had 2 miscarriages, thought i would never become a mummy.
My 3rd pregnancy, i got pregnant with twins, sadly i lost 1 twin but this pregnancy finally made me the mummy i longed to be.
Not without problems, but things are never easy with me!
We decided to try again, and unfortunately, suffered another miscarriage in November 2019.
We are about to go again, we recently had recurrent miscarriage tests which came back fine. Part of me wanted there to be a problem so we can prevent it happening again.
So, yes, im worried it could happen again. But ive proven i can have children so i guess im no worse position that someone that has not had a miscarriage (medically wise) and nor are you.
Its crap to hear, but sometimes it really is just one of those things, i used to hate it when people would say this, but take comfort in it, because it means that there still is no reason becoming a mummy wont happen for you.
When you are ready, try again. Just because you have had a miscarriage, doesnt mean you will have another.
Good luck. X
LouLouP7 · 05/02/2020 19:59
Thank you so much for your message. At the moment I think my overriding emotion is fear. I'm so scared about what is potentially to come but I just have to try not to think negatively. As you say, there's no reason why I won't happen.
So sorry to hear about your previous miscarriages but very happy that you got your wish to be a mummy in the end. I know what you mean about the tests though but at least there's not another hurdle you need to cross before you can start trying again. Sending lots of luck and fingers crossed for us both 😊 xxx
Catsincharge · 05/02/2020 20:36
So sorry for your loss
I was in a similar position as you.. first month of trying I fell, saw a heartbeat at 6 and 7w, however discovered I was miscarrying at 10w.
I really struggled moving forward, like you, anxious it would happen again. I found talking and letting myself grieve helped. We decided to try again straight away. It was hard emotionally and I did get a little obsessed, but after three cycles we fell pregnant again. I now have a 14m old :)
I really wish you all the luck for the future, be kind to yourself xx
RevIMJolly · 05/02/2020 21:11
I had a miscarriage at about 8 weeks. It was bloody awful. I remember being moved into a separate room because I was openly crying in the EPU at the hospital. I was surrounded by pregnant women as I could feel my baby slipping away.
After it was confirmed I let the docs take some blood so they could use my miscarriage as part of a study. I thought that maybe I could help the next generation not to go through this.
I was oh so sad.
My friend came down a month later to cheer me up and we had a few glasses of wine. The next day I felt awful and another friend suggested that I might be pregnant as you are fertile after a miscarriage.
I was. And that baby is now a strapping 10 year old who loves rugby and who my DH is now persuading to get back into bed.
I think of my miscarriage as part of the journey that brought my wonderful DS to us. I don’t know who baby I lost may have been (maybe a girl? My life would be very different!) but that very painful loss made room for my amazing DS who I absolutely bloody adore.
Take care of your self.
Geekster1963 · 05/02/2020 21:47
So sorry for your loss, miscarriage is horrible. We had six consecutive ones over four years. But we got lucky the 7th time and our Daughter will be 8 soon.
I’m so glad we didn’t give up, and I’m certainly not suggesting the same will happen to you. I wish you the best of luck for next time.
LouLouP7 · 06/02/2020 11:35
Thank you ladies, I can't tell you how much it means to hear that you've gone through the same thing but have good outcomes in the end. That's what I'm trying to hold on to at the moment.
@Catsincharge I know what you mean about being obsessed. I can feel myself getting like that already and I'm literally not even a week out.
I have another scan on Saturday that was supposed to be to check how baby was growing. My husband is still holding out hope that I might be pregnant and in all honestly I'm finding this really difficult to deal with. I know in my heart that I've miscarried just from the bleeding/clots/pains I had and also because my symptoms have now completely gone. I do understand wanting to have hope but at the same time I just know so don't have any. I'm worried about how he's going to take it because I feel like I'm using this week to try and get my head around it, but he's just getting more and more hopeful as times goes on.
QueSera · 06/02/2020 11:53
I'm so sorry for your loss OP, it is heartbreaking
But please don't lose hope!
I had 2 miscarriages.
I was given very low odds of getting pregnant/ carrying to term (2%) due to age, and similar estimates of sucess with IVF.
With the first miscarriage, we discovered at the 12wk-scan that there was no heartbeat. We were devastated, but tried again, reminding ourselves that miscarriages are common and normal.
With the second, they gave me an earlier scan at 8wks - no hearbeat.
I was truly overcome with grief after this one, and thought I would never be able to keep a pregnancy.
We used the Sperm-Meets-Egg Plan (google for details), and fell pregnant again soon after, and this time everything went well and we had a healthy baby.
I know how devastating and upsetting this can all be - ttc, miscarriage etc. Stay strong OP, but give yourself (and each other) time to be sad if you need it, and be gentle with yourself (and each other). I didn't know that 'grief' can be a medical condition before, now I do. Good luck OP x
Hellocanyouclapyourhands · 08/02/2020 09:49
I’m sorry OP
I’ve only had one miscarriage which was during my last pregnancy at 9 weeks. I was due to have my midwife appointment that week.
I fell pregnant again straight away. We started trying as soon as I stopped bleeding and was producing a negative test result.
I didn’t have a period in between so had to go for a dating scan at 7 weeks. I’m 25 weeks now.
My DH had held out hope it was going to be OK but as soon as the morning of the scan came to confirm the miscarriage I just knew. He’s always been the optimist in the relationship.
I hope it all goes OK for you my miscarriage was followed by a (so far) healthy pregnancy
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.