Horrible appointment letter

[PearlHeart]

Feel like I have been stabbed in the heart. We found out about our miscarriage at our 12 week scan on 1.8.19.

Yet today 12.1.20 received a pregnancy related letter,(posted to neighbour by accident & handed in today)
Advising me of my 3 sessions to prepare me for baby’s arrival as I am now 32 weeks pregnant!

After my scan I was assured there would be no letters or apps! Yet I received one for my 20 week scan, an appointment at the metabolic clinic and call to ask why I didn’t attend!

I called to cancel all future appointments and explained why so for this one to still arrive in a a cruel joke!

I just broke down! I want our baby back so much, I feel like I keep failing and there’s no way to make it better! I thought I was coping but I really am not! I am a mixture of sad and angry! They also left me with all my maternity notes so I have them in my house too as a reminder to how much of a failure I really am for the 12th timeXx

I'm so sorry that you are going through this @PearlHeart. I cant imagine your pain at receiving those letter. You should never have been put in that situation. When you feel better I would consider making a formal complaint.

I'm currently going through a miscarriage for an ectopic pregnancy and I just feel like a massive failure. People keep reminding me to be kind to myself and all those feelings of anger and sadness are completely normal. Just want to remind you of that too and also say you are not a failure x

@JeffV
Thank you for taking the time to reply to me, it means so much to me!

I'm hoping to try formulate a letter/ email in the next few days or so.

I wish it was uncommon but I have seen/ heard of so many in a similar situation! It's disgusting!

I'm sending you lots of love and healing your way!
It's such a difficult time to go through!

💝

Hi,
I’m so sorry for your loss. It won’t make you feel better but I’m having the exact same issue. Miscarried at 10.5 weeks, EPU said they would cancel all appointments, I’ve so far received 2 letters and a phonecall about future appointments. I’ve told the midwife team twice on the phone about losing my baby. I’ve now complained via PALS, but that was 4 weeks ago and nothing has happened yet. It’s so hard to get the energy to complain but I feel now that I won’t let it go until I get reassurance they’re going urging in measures to prevent someone else going through this. It really is unacceptable and makes the pain and heartache so much worse.
Sending you love & strength, & I really hope that you get some peace to grieve properly without more letters from the hospital. x

I'm sorry this happened. The NHS is shit in this area, a horrible mess of different departments that don't work together, old fashioned computer systems (if not paper forms being sent round the hospital) and everything automated.

I agree speak to PALS, it might help something be put in place to help prevent this happening again.