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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Losing hope of every having a baby - uterine abnormality and miscarriages

2 replies

warnerka · 10/01/2020 12:34

Hello. I've just had my 7th miscarriage. All previous went to 6/7 weeks, but this last one got to 10 weeks and was the first time we saw a heartbeat. I had to have a d&c and I've apparently got 'retained products', just to add to the grief. To cut it short, I've been investigated and we have never had a reason, until recently. On an MRI it showed that I might have a uterus abnormality. I haven't got a bicornuate or septate uterus, but I might have something else which has been difficult to see on a scan, which they are still investigating. I'll hopefully have a camera put up there to have a look around which can tell us a bit more. I feel like our hope is fading.

I'm 39 and my partner is 33. We've been together 7 years and planning to get married later on in the year. I feel utterly gutted after finding out I may never be able to carry a baby. My partner and I both desperately want children. We've been through so many losses and a failed IVF round seem to have disappointment after disappointment.

I'm not even sure why I'm posting. I feel lost and it's affecting me today more than ever. I just want to crawl into a hole and stay there. I always thought we'd get there in the end, but as I'm getting older I feel time is running out. I also feel the guilt of not being able to give my partner a child. Why should he stay with me. I'm sorry. thanks for listening x

OP posts:
Lucylivesinamushroomhouse · 10/01/2020 19:57

No words of wisdom but just wanted to say sorry you’re going through this. Sounds incredibly tough. Big love xxxx

keeponrunning85 · 10/01/2020 22:19

I am so so sorry you are going through this. I know there's nothing anyone can say to make this better but I think you're incredibly strong to have kept on trying to this point.

When we were going through recurrent miscarriages (I had 4) I felt very guilty about not giving my husband and child and feeling like I should let him go. Have you spoken to your OH about this? Please try and remember that he wants to marry you because of her you are, not just so that you can give him children.

I had/have a partially bicornuate uterus with a septum and had surgery to remove as much of the septum as possible. I know things aren't as clear cut for you but I really found I had to push to get my consultant to do the surgery as there just isn't the evidence there to support it unfortunately. I was wondering if you have found similar with your consultant.

I hope you have good support in real life and please be kind to yourself.

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