Hi, this is my first post on here. I desperately need some advice.
I had an early scan 3 weeks ago. There was no heartbeat and the baby had died at 7 weeks 2 days. I then had a D&C 10 days later. The pregnancy was unplanned and we were using condoms. It was a huge shock at first and I regrettably considered a termination. After the initial shock had died down I immediately knew that I couldn’t go through with the termination. I informed my partner who was not happy at all as he said he didn’t want a baby. However we talked it through and he started to get excited and we started to plan. He had planned the nursery and was so loving, stroking my belly, nicknaming the baby and even said, let’s do this, let’s have a baby. We were genuinely happy. He has said that he feels so sad about the baby dying and has shed a few tears over the baby. He says that he loved our baby.
I am completely devastated that my baby has died, I can’t stop crying and the pain and grief is unbearable. I am really struggling. I spoke to my partner about trying again and was hit with an instant no. No discussion, just no. I have tried to explain how this is affecting me emotionally and mentally. I am 38 and also feel that this has triggered my biological clock too. I feel so sad that I will never have the chance to try again for another baby. It’s caused so much pain and turmoil in our relationship that me and my partner are barely talking. He says that he can’t stand me being so miserable. He dreads coming home. He says that he can’t see any glimmer of hope and that we will ever be happy again as he will not give me the baby that I desperately want. He questions how we can try again when we didn’t plan the pregnancy to start with. He then says he’s too old for another child (he’s 45). We are both fit and healthy, eat well, exercise and take care of ourselves. He admitted at the weekend that he is being totally selfish and understands why I would want to try again but he still will not even discuss it. It’s causing a massive rift at the moment. Is there anybody else that has been in this situation as I have looked through the internet and most people tend to try again after a miscarriage. Each time I read about people ttc again it makes me incredibly sad.