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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Tests and Stuff after 2nd Miscarriage

7 replies

Uki · 27/09/2004 13:02

Dear All
Have just been reading tex11 and lots of others ordeals on mumsnet following miscarriage. It has helped me alot as i have had two miscariages this year the first at 8 weeks and the 2nd at 10 weeks. The first pregnancy would have been due Oct 9 and I am not looking forward to that date as have a friend who was the same pregnant as me. The second m/c(july) was a nightmare had bleeding and deicided to get a scan after lying in bed for two days thinking that would stop the bleeding. At the scan they couldn't find baby and then checked out ovaries and said i had a eptopic pregnancy, got sent to hospital to remove blockage, i was told they would have to remove tube too. couldn't stop crying and begged surgeon to not remove tube, as i felt all my chances were being taken away. My heart goes out to anyone who has had eptopic. I had laparoscopy and luckily it turned out to be a miscarriage and had D&C. Truth is i didn't feel so lucky the next day and had to go back to work a day after that. The 2nd miscarriage does compound the whole situation and i didn't sleep well at all for weeeks as i kept waking up thinking it was all a bad dream. Two weeks later i told a friend about it all and she then replied that she was pregnant. So i now have another friend who i will watch have a baby around my due date. I found that very hard to deal with as i really wanted my baby and was sent grieving real hard that i couldn't be happy too and have everything rosy, both friends kept asking us to dinner and i just couldn't face and still can't face them as i know it will distress me. I really wish i could. I know others of you have been through this and maybee because they weren't really close friends i just found it easier to avoid them. Mumsnet has been great because people really understand how loss totally consumes you, you are completley over- sensitive and you are very sensitive to everything. I have never been a teary person, but now get teary over everthing.
After 2nd miscarriage i was convinced i had hughs syndrome and asked doc for test. She did test but thought it wasn't a priority test, didn't even know if she could test for it until i pulled out my slip of paper from internet research saying i needed an anti coagulant test. Anyway she could do that and it came back neg but positive for arthritis and now am getting a bunch of tests done and have a referral to specialist. I get tests back in a week and do feel better that they are testing. Anyone else know about arthritis and preg??? Also my heart goes out to anyone trying to concieve again after miscarriage i have waited one month although the truth is i still tried for that month> i really hope to be preg again, but i think it will happen when ready as well and have now said it doesn't matter how long it takes. this has also given my very impatient nature a chance to relax.I am super scared too? and wish i could just wait till 13 weeks before i even knew i was preg!
Love to all
Bye for now Uki

OP posts:
MINNIE1 · 27/09/2004 14:36

Uki, So sorry about you m/c and all you have gone through.. I don't really know much about the tests but someone will come along to help you..
whem i was in the hosp they told me i had to have 3 m/c b4 they would do any test, this is mad really.. I hope the test goes well for you and let us know how you get on..

hana · 28/09/2004 10:01

Uki - so sorry that you've had 2 m/c so close together. Last year I also had 2 losses pretty close together, and after the second one it was so very very difficult to carry on. I too had a close friend who was pregant the first time I was (she actually had twins) and they were born within 3 days of my due date. It took me ages to be able to visit her let alone hold her two girls.
I've had lots of testing done as well (had m/c before dd was born as well) but everything came back fine. It's such a painful time because you want answers and sometimes there aren't any. And it's so unfair - I do think that pregnancy really is a lottery.
A different friend also has one fallopian tube and she was told it would be difficult to conceive - but she has a 5 month old daughter!!
Your GP sounds very supportive - like Minnie said most clinics ( I'm thinking of recurrent m/c clinics) will accept a referral after 3 m/c in a row.
There are lots of us pregnant - all at various stages - after m/c on mumsnet. I'm now 28 weeks pregnant myself and due exactly one year later from my loss in July 03.
I hope you have lots and lots of luck for a healthy pregnancy next time ( there will be a next time!) and that you stay with mumsnet for some support too.

MrsWednesday · 28/09/2004 11:52

((((((((((hugs))))))))) Uki. I'm not surprised you are feeling teary, you've been through such a horrible few months.

I can't give any advice or information about tests as I haven't had any, but I just wanted you offer you a bit of on-line support from someone who does know a bit of what you're going through (I've had two miscarriages this year, one missed one at 13wks, then another very early one three months later).

Is there any chance you could have some time off work? It sounds like you went back very quickly after your second one - presumably you had to 'put a brave face on' when you went back, which can sometimes make things worse. Having a bit of time with your DH, doing some nice things together might be a good thing - it won't take the hurt away but it could give you something positive to think about too.

Don't feel bad about avoiding friends who are pregnant. If they are true friends they will understand why, but don't be surprised if they don't - some pregnant women (but by no means all, don't mean to offend anyone here) do get a bit blinkered, especially if it's their first, and only think about the way things relate to them.

Sorry, I'm waffling on. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

If you feel up to it, there is a TTC after miscarriage thread - there are lots of us who have been through the same thing.

Take care.x

Uki · 12/10/2004 07:28

Hi Again
Thanks for all your kind posts. I was very moved by Mrs Wedenesday and Hana's words, I especially thought it was beautiful that your baby hana is due on that date how miraculous is that> It also inspired me to test on sat oct 9, and i got a faint 2nd line positive. at first i just dismissed it, but after still not getting period, tested again today tuesday. Two lines again although the second is slightly less dark. Anyway it's so hot here today i feel tingly nauseous and also have some cramps in belly, i've never had morning sickness yet and am hoping it is just that. Anyway i have a wait and see happening.
Bye for now.

OP posts:
hana · 12/10/2004 08:32

Uki - that's fabulous news, everything crossed!! Let us know how things go.
My brother and his wife are expecting as well after 2 m/c (Feb and June of this year) recently. Will be thinking of you

MrsWednesday · 12/10/2004 09:20

Brilliant news Uki!! .

I also found out last week that I am pregnant again, due in June. There is a 'babies due in June' thread - come along and join us, share your worries there.

Take care.x

bunny2 · 12/10/2004 20:14

Uki, that's really good news. I had 2 miscarriages and was utterly devastated. After a battery of tests (all negative) I got pregnant again and it hasnt been easy - every twinge or pain has sent me scuttling back to the doctor or hospital convinced of another loss. But. happily I can report I am now 35 weeks pregnant and all is looking really good. I hope you have the same good fortune.

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