Please or to access all these features

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

First Miscarriage - natural management

4 replies

Plumsandpeaches · 06/11/2019 22:30

I was devastated to find out that I was having a miscarriage, probably because of the fact that I was so excited that i was pregnant. My husband was over the moon, and because this is my first pregnancy i needed all the support i could get and told my parents. That now feels like the worst mistake i ever made because a week later I had to yank the good news away from them and face them with this.

I couldn't seem to understand, even though it had been explained to me several times, why this happened. I could not be more hygienic, healthy, safer, and to found out my pregnancy had ended at 5 weeks (i found out at 10 weeks) I was inconsolable.

I had work on my mind, having to tell my parents, what the next steps were, where do we go from here, my emotions, my husband's emotions - all this to deal with was beginning to get to much for me, so I would just break down and cry hysterically like the world was coming to an end (melodramatic, i know, but thats how it felt.) I had lost all sense of hope in medical professionals and in my self.

I have now come to terms and accepted this. We went for the natural management option, whereby i have the miscarriage at home naturally, with not medical intervention at all. It is painful, emotionally and physically draining, like a 3 week really intense period. But the other two options, for me personally came with too many risks i wasn't willing to take.

I have trouble sorting through my emotions. One miniute I am fine, and i accept it. The next min I am angry at the world. I am like a yo-yo and I my husband, bless him, is the best, however there will always be that level of understanding that isnt there because he may be emotionally feeling the loss, but physically is something I am going through, alone.

OP posts:
monikagabi · 07/11/2019 12:42

hi,sorry to hear that ,i was in my 4th pregnancy and yesterday i miscarried for first time,i know how you feel , i am so emotionally tired right now,i have cried,and i am trying not to think about it,but its something horrible,i feel so empty.... this baby was so wanted and it is gone...as quiet as it came it is just gone.the process is bad, i just came from hospital and i need to go back in 2 days for a check up.as soon as i feel it will be ok,there is a reminder of it. mental rollercoaster,hope you feel better soon

Plumsandpeaches · 07/11/2019 22:39

Dear Monikagabi

I am sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you during this time I am so tired right now also, emotionally. I can't begin to explain what goes through my mind daily and the emotionally rollercoaster that my feelings ride. I experience about 10 different moods before mid-day! It it all so confusing and painful.

There are times I just want to cry, and times where i feel motivated, there are times that i am terrified that this could happen again, and sometimes I just want to be shut off from the world completely. At one point, I thought i was going crazy, but I have lead my self to believe that it is okay to feel this way. I am only a human being, and not a robot. I may be programmed this way, to have children, but things go wrong, and when they go wrong I am okay to grieve them!

I hope you feel better also soon, this is a tough journey for anyone to go through and I am so grateful for the support that these forums provide.

xxx

OP posts:
monikagabi · 08/11/2019 09:25

hi,thank you,i do feel like i cant talk to anyone.everybody expects me to be fine but i am not,i have messed up bad today! i woke up in toughts that we are late for school run ,rushed kids out of the house,dropped them off n went to do my usual shopping etc,10mins later school is ringing why have i dropped kids of an hour before school opens????at this point i had meltdown,took kids for breakfast n dropped them off on time,but omg i felt so weird like i am failing everyone now.

Plumsandpeaches · 08/11/2019 10:22

Monika,

You need to remember that you are only human. Regardless of the fact that our bodies are programmed to handle this, we are human and we feel and have emot
ions. You cannot blame yourself for dropping your kids off to school early. In face I commend you in getting out of bed and actually going shopping! I haven't even left the house yet.

It is possible that people around you find it hard to see what you are going through, and their automatic go-to response is 'it'll be okay, pick your self up and get on with it' but remember that you're allowed time to grieve, and take as much time as you need. You are certainly NOT expected to be fine, and get on with it.

Just remember that you are not failing anyone, you are allowed to had an off day, especially when you are experiencing such a loss.

I have the same feeling, like I am expected to get on with this and go back to work. I feel forced to rush through the process, but I am fighting back - I am disagreeing with everyone who says something of that sort to me, because I know i need time to get through this, and I will take my sweet time about it, so should you!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page