Please or to access all these features

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Advice after miscarriage

3 replies

Bella200 · 06/11/2019 19:40

I’m desperately after some advice as I’m feeling so down and don’t know which way to go, so a few weeks ago I was shocked to discover I was pregnant completely unplanned as I was on the pill! I have 2 older children age 10 and 12 so thought my baby days were over plus my partner of 6 years had said he never wanted children of his own,
after the shock of the pink lines we sat down and decided it just wasn’t right for us to have a child of our own amongst other issues we would face financially it seemed impossible as we struggle to make ends meet as we don’t have much room and would mean my current children would be effected negatively aswell so after lots of chats and tears we booked for a termination,
We were advised 6 weeks would be the time we could go ahead but when we had a scan they said it was too early and nothing could be done and to return in a week,
As the week went on I felt my feelings changing I started seeing things differently imagining life with a baby again after speaking to my partner turned out he felt exactly the same and said we would cope and we both decided we couldn’t go through with a termination it didn’t feel right,
So going to our appointment yesterday we were hoping to see this little fetus we decided we did want and started to look forward to me being pregnant however the scan revealed an empty sac and the nurse said we can expect a miscarriage any day,
We’re gutted I feel like it’s been such a rollercoaster of emotions this last week and I now feel so unsure about the future should we try again? Or is it not meant to be as we originally thought? I would really appreciate any advice as I just don’t know what to do 😢 x

OP posts:
hmmm123 · 06/11/2019 23:25

I'm really sorry you've been through this

I have had a sort of similar experience in that we didn't want any more children and then changed our minds and tried thinking it wouldn't happen as we are in our 40s and it did! Then went through the OMG is this really what we want phase finally coming round to being very happy and excited to then find out it was ectopic at 8 weeks and I had to have emergency surgery and a tube removal

I wonder if it was fate punishing us for not being sure

I'm not sure I have the strength to try again

I'm not really sure what I want I'm just very sad

It seems like a cruel joke

Sending hugs

Bella200 · 07/11/2019 03:47

Thankyou I’m sorry to hear what you’ve also been through 😢 I do feel like it’s a punishment for me not wanting to be pregnant in the first place, my hormones are still all over the place so I’m hoping a couple of weeks might bring a bit more clarity x

OP posts:
Bella200 · 25/11/2019 19:31

Hi @hmmm123 hope you don’t mind me asking just wondering how you are ? and if you decided to try again? Our situations have been more similar than I originally thought last week I ended up in hospital with an ectopic after the hospital first just telling me to expect a miscarriage,
it has been such a rollercoaster of emotions I’m healing well from the surgery but still feel gutted I’m no longer pregnant although my partner has gone back to us not wanting a baby,
one of our friends has just announced her pregnancy and I can’t help but feel sad it’s not us with the news x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page