Anxiety after mc

[Colabottles64]

I had a mc two weeks ago today. It was early, I already have 2 beautiful daughters, the pregnancy wasn’t planned - but my heart is still broken. I feel racked with pain and anxiety; my body is tense, I’m short of breath and I’m finding that getting on day to day is a real struggle and getting worse, not better. I never expected this to happen and I feel so much anger about it and so much sadness. I know how lucky I am to have my girls and I can’t ever understand how much harder many other women have it, yet none of that stops this from hurting immensely and I feel like I’m really struggling. I don’t really know the point of this post other than to get this out of my head. I’ve talked about how I’m feeling to my family and friends, I’ve cried, I’ve written, I’ve prayed but I’m under a heavy cloud right now. I’m pining for the baby and future I lost; I want lie down and howl about it and I just feel so robbed, so devastated.

It's so incredibly hard isn't it? I can't even imagine how things will get better except that time does heal things enough for you to function.

Do you have real life support!

Aw it really is avocado. I have lots of real life support, but I feel no one really gets it at the same time. Its a very lonely experience. I hope time helps.

I think Mumsnet can help and reading things like www.tommys.org

My worry is seeing people. Most people know what's happened as I've asked friends to tell people as everyone knew because I was half way along. But I know when I actually see people they will either be loving and kind or awkward and either way I'll cry

I've got two daughters too so I know it could be even worse but we are still allowed to feel the horror and grief

Yes, you nearly dread people asking how are you because it just brings up the tears so matter how you feel!

I’m so sorry for your loss. Obviously we are both absolutely blessed to have children already, but it still hurts and I can only say that it must be so so hard to have been further along and had so much more time to anticipate life as a family of five. It really sucks, I know there isn’t a comforting thing to be said really. I have found some miscarriage podcasts really useful as I have an appetite for people’s stories, they’ve been useful over the past two days.

How are you coping? X

What podcasts do you listen to?

It's such early days for us that I'm not anywhere near coping yet. I cry everyday, I actually allocate time to do it in between visitors.

I just can't believe it. I literally can't believe it and keep going over all the details.
It all started Monday, gave birth Wednesday so still recovering physically.

Do you have any friends who have had miscarriages? I've got a few but I don't want to talk about it to anyone really. I just like knowing they understand without me telling them anything

Hello
So sorry to hear of your loss
I have gone through a similar thing too (our first baby ) and am really not coping )panic attacks, sleepless nights and have been signed off work etc),
Have you checked to see if you are eligible for counselling through work? Our firm have a free (confidential) scheme and I have recently started - hoping it helps as I can’t go on like this/
Sending positive thoughts your way xXx