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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

First pregnancy and ended in miscarriage at 5 weeks

19 replies

GreytExpectations · 22/10/2019 11:48

Hi, I'm looking for some coping advice. DH and I have been trying for a baby but not for long. 2 months were just a "not preventing" and than last cycle we actively tried and was obviously successful but ended last night. We were so happy and I was so relieved it happened so soon (maybe to good to be true?). Anyways, visited my GP yesterday for pink spotting who said to keep an eye on it but wasn't worried as was early and then over night it turned to heavy, bright red blood. Basically like I'm having a heavy period. My GP advised me to go to A&E, they just did a urine test (which unsurprisingly came back negative) and some blood work and sent me home saying it is a miscarriage and to let it pass on its own. As I'm less than 6 weeks they don't see a need for any follow up unless I become unwell. Me and my DH's hearts are broken, how do I move on from this? I was already paranoid about TTC and something being wrong now I have reason to be worried! Can I please hear coping strategies? I am late 20s and this would be our first child. We want to keep trying but I'm terrified now of this happening again and I keep bursting into tears :(

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Original poster

GreytExpectations · 22/10/2019 15:24

Anybody?

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LASandOtto · 22/10/2019 16:15

Just wanted to respond as no one else had. I have had two MCs this year and understand how sad and desperate you may feel. Whilst they tell us that miscarriage is common, it is still a totally unexpected and difficult situation to be in. I can tell you that the best advice is to be kind to yourself, do things that make you feel good, try and keep a balance so that TTC doesn't take over your life. I know it's easier said than done and it's normal to want everything to be fine and resolved but it takes time! Thinking of you!

Original poster

GreytExpectations · 22/10/2019 16:30

Thank you for your kinds words. It's difficult as I kept thinking "it's early early to get excited" and then th thing I dreaded happened. Its odd because iw as so early at 4 weeks that I didn't have any scans and the test came back negative at hospital. Just don't know how I should be acting. I took today off from work and am wondering if its understandable to take tomorrow off too? I am not in any pain and the bleeding just like a heavy period but not sure if I should expect it to get worse.

Also, is it OK to try again soon? I was already anxious when I had no reason to be and now I can imagine how I'd cope mentally with another pregnancy

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LASandOtto · 22/10/2019 17:14

@GreytExpectations of course, take as much time as you need!

My second MC was natural at 11 weeks and I've just had a whole week off for it. Feel ok now!

It's normal to have heavy bleeding. If you do soak more than 1 pad an hour for 2 hours, I believe you should go to A&E just as a precaution in case there's too much blood loss. Hopefully that won't be necessary, just wanted to mention it as it seems no one has given you any info which is awful. Use pads and not tampons, have a nice hot water or wheat bag and cuddle up on the sofa.

You can try as soon as bleeding stops to minimise risk of any infections as your cervix is open due to the bleeding. If you've had a negative test just also make sure to retest.

Lastly I would see the GP for advice anyway. They won't refer you for tests unless you've had 3 miscarriages in a row (terrible I know) but perhaps it will help you just to put your mind at ease?

Sorry again for your loss x

Original poster

GreytExpectations · 22/10/2019 17:41

Hi, again thank you for your reply. Yes, I didn't get much info at the hospital but then again I was very emotional so when the doctor asked if I had any questions I didn't really know what to say but he did say if I started getting worse or feeling very unwell to get medical care.
I am going to take tomorrow off at least for my mental health if not my physical and I would like some reasurrance so I'm going to get a GP appointment for maybe next week once things have calmed down. I came home from A&E today to find my NHS letter for what would have been my 12 week scan, broke my heart as it would have been on DH and I's anniversary I feel sad for him though as he is also grieving but he only started a new job last week so can't exactly be with me or off work.

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LoveRainbow02 · 22/10/2019 18:34

So sorry for your loss op. I miscarried my first baby at 5.5 weeks after 2 years ttc so I can understand how you will be feeling. I did go on to concieve 4 months later and had a straightforward pregnancy and gave birth to a healthy little boy so try not to be disheartened. You will be scared and anxious next time you concieve but try to remain postive. I have also just miscarried at 5.5 weeks again 3 weeks ago, I think it's just nature's way of saying something was wrong from conception as cruel as that sounds. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to grieve. A loss is a loss no matter how far on you were x

Original poster

GreytExpectations · 22/10/2019 20:20

@LoveRainbow02 thank you. Its reasurring to hear people's success stories as I'm terrified of it happening again. I will need to find a way to cope with that anxiety

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AliSxo · 22/10/2019 20:41

Hey lovely @GreytExpectations really sorry to hear what's happened, I also miscarried at 5 weeks nearly 2 weeks ago now. I started with light pink blood when I wiped, it was turning brown after a day and I saw my GP who wasn't concerned but told me to keep an eye on it. Within 3 days i came on a very heavy period and I was devastated. Last week I was in a vile mood and only now am I in a more positive mind set. It's healing for me to keep trying and I'm now tracking my ovulation. Weirdly I found watching YouTube videos of people who've been through the same quite helpful and I'm always going to be terrified it'll happen again xxxx

Original poster

GreytExpectations · 22/10/2019 21:02

Thank you aliSxo for sharing your experience. It helps to know I'm not alone in it. I do also want to start trying again but just worried my cycle will be fucked up from it and then it may happen again

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AliSxo · 22/10/2019 21:09

@GreytExpectations it's such a rubbish thing to happen, it's helping me get over it by just cracking on and keep trying to conceive, I've felt empty so just want to be pregnant again xx

AlviesMam · 23/10/2019 00:02

I'm late 20s and me and my husband conceived first time trying. We thought it was too good to be true. I am a worrier and had anxiety about it. At my 12 week scan i was told the baby had no heartbeat and was measuring 7 weeks. It is a heartbreaking situation and I promise each day gets that little bit better and time is a healer. We tried again and fell after 3 months. We got the heart beat and the pregnancy progressed. Unfortunately at our 20 week scan we were told bad news due to a critical heart defect. Pregnancy is a scary thing, I'm healing and will be trying again soon. Keep positive and know you are not alone. It's good to vent and the fact your posting on here shows you are trying to help yourself move through this awful time. Miscarriage is very common and most women eventually go on to have their rainbow babies. Keep strong, ask for the help,be positive and don't give up. Sending you strength and positivity xx

Original poster

GreytExpectations · 23/10/2019 07:29

I'm so sorry for your losses AlviesMam that sounds awful to go through and I wish you all the best. You are right talking about it helps. I told my mum yesterday and DH told his, it's helped us so much to have someone for support and taught us we don't have to keep it private if we don't want to.

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Original poster

GreytExpectations · 23/10/2019 10:52

Can I ask, is it normal not to have any cramps? I was expecting the worst physically such as really heavy bleeding, large clots, and cramps and eventually passing something. But I've have none of that--I have had worse periods than this. The bleeding is on the heavier side but it's manageable, nothing seems to have passed just tiny lumps and I've had no pain at all. Seems strange but maybe I'm lucky it's not that bad?

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AlviesMam · 23/10/2019 11:10

I had no pain at all just very heavy bleeding and clots xxx

AliSxo · 23/10/2019 12:16

Hey, I had cramps on the Tuesday but they didn't need any pain killers, that's the only pain I had. Bleeding started with spotting on Tuesday night and by Friday it was a period. It's a heavier period than I normally get but didn't get any cramps xx

LoveRainbow02 · 23/10/2019 19:04

I had severe back at with my first mc all through the night that kept me awake and in tears. Didnt have cramps when the bleeding started but had a strong pain when I passed the sac 2 days later, i was 6.5 weeks but stopped growing just after 5.5 weeks. 2nd mc at 5.5 weeks i bled lighter than a normal period, no cramp and only a few big clots. Think it varies from woman to woman really. Hope your ok and staying strong op x

LoveRainbow02 · 23/10/2019 19:05

Back pain I meant*

Original poster

GreytExpectations · 24/10/2019 12:18

Interesting to hear others people's experiences. I just feel that it's strange I've had no pain and seems bleeding is mostly over after a couple days and wasn't too bad. Maybe I was just too early to pass anything obvious

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LoveRainbow02 · 24/10/2019 17:51

My 2nd mc I didnt pass anything obvious either and bleeding only lasted 4 days from start to finish. Hopefully you get your rainbow baby soon x

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