question about my miscarriage. What did I see?
Zoey36 · 13/10/2019 23:58
This is such a strange question sorry.
I miscarried at 10 weeks but baby stopped developing at an estimated 6 weeks 4 days from scan measurements. I miscarried naturally at home.
I can't unsee what I saw. I know everyone will have a different experience but I just cannot believe that I was told to expect 'a moderate to heavy period maybe with some cramping'. I now know from reading online here that there are so many women that think this is so far from the truth of their experience so I know it's not just me.
I'm the kind of person that needs to know all the details. I need to know if it was normal what happened and what it all was and I'm wondering if anyone can help?
The contractions were every 3 minutes exactly. Exactly like when I had my daughter. Like EXACTLY the same pain. They became every 2 minutes and then I passed the sac (which I only could identify because of forums like this....still in shock that real information is through places like here and not NHS.) It all calmed down from there. But when I was having the contractions, I was losing massive lumps of liver-looking stuff. Some small ones and some bigger than my fist. The lady on the phone at EPAU told me to call if I had blood clots larger than 50p. These didnt looked like blood clots and anyway, I have blood clots much much larger than 50p in a period anyway! So was it normal what was happening to me? There's no information from the NHS on what to really expect in a miscarriage so I guess I'm asking if this was normal for others? And I really just want to know what it was. Was it the lining of my womb? Something else?
I'm just wanting to work it all out in my head so I can stop thinking about it all and move on but this is a real barrier to me. I feel so let down that I was in no way prepared for what it was like. Why don't they tell you?
ferntwist · 13/10/2019 23:59
So sorry for your loss. I’ve had five miscarriages in week 11 or 12 and had very similar experiences to you. Those clots are from your womb lining and placenta. Sending you good wishes and vibes.
avocadoincident · 26/10/2019 08:27
I just wanted to add that I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I'm currently in the same position. I can not believe the lack of Information coming from the nhs. I love the nhs by the way but it's seriously lacking in this department.
Zoey36 · 26/10/2019 21:41
Thanks for the replies. Still really struggling with what physically happened and how unprepared I was for it.
Sorry that you've both lost babies too :'(
@avocadoincident I'm still in complete disbelief about the lack of information and just the treatment in general. I went back to EPAU because I was still getting positive tests 3 weeks on. First question I was asked was how many weeks pregnant am I. Wow. Read the notes! Have you miscarried or are you waiting? Sorry, just wasnt clear from your message. I've told all my close friends thay if they are ever in this horrible club then to ask me about it because I cant have anyone go through that with no real advice.
Blindingpeaky · 26/10/2019 22:16
I'm sorry for your losses.
I agree with the comments. I ended up having an infection after my miscarriage. Because no one talks about it, I thought the pain (different to cramping) was normal as was feeling incredibly unwell. It seems that miscarriages are treated as shameful dark secrets that we mustn't talk about.
The EPU were good, however they did send me home and it was a very much wait and see situation. No one told me about the cramping or heavy blood loss, that made me not want to leave my house for 4 days.
Sorry this ended up a bit ranty.
avocadoincident · 26/10/2019 22:52
I had to deliver the baby on Wednesday at 20 weeks. It was a catalogue of terrible care beginning with the nurse asking me "why I looked so miserable" when she came into introduce herself as my nurse for the delivery.
I was never actually discharged, the consultant went off to check something on the baby's post mortem form. When he never came back I wandered out in the corridor to ask what was happening and the nurse said "that's it, you can go". I left with no advice as to what happens next. I don't know anything.
I don't want to derail the thread here but there's so many things that were horrific that were unavoidable that I'm overwhelmed by it all.
This is the first bad nhs experience I've had.
avocadoincident · 26/10/2019 22:55
@Zoey36 how insensitive asking how many weeks you are. Such an easily avoidable situation too if only they had read the notes.
@Blindingpeaky how did you know you had an infection. I was doubled over with pain earlier but am loads better tonight
Zoey36 · 26/10/2019 23:04
@Blindingpeaky dont apologise! It's right that we feel wronged by the lack of information.
@avocadoincident what a terrible experience :( No wonder you feel overwhelmed. I want to get in touch with PALS just in the hope that things could change for another woman but I dont really have much for that. I think it would help me though. I've been saying it for 3 weeks though but I don't know when I'll feel like I can actually do it.
I wish there was a way to send actual love across the internet because it's so hard and so utterly rubbish that you're here xxxx
Blindingpeaky · 26/10/2019 23:49
@avocadoincident I knew because I had a temperature, was shivering, headache, feeling faint and the pain which feels very different to cramps.
I'm so sorry to read about your experience. Tommy's is a great charity that looks a lot about how patients are treated after losing a baby. They might be a good place to look for support x
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