MC Follow Up

[hannahgriff]

Hi ladies

I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. I started bleeding and they did a urine test at the EPU which came back negative. They told me I was miscarrying, gave me a leaflet about it and sent me on my way. There was no follow up, nothing to check everything had gone etc. Has anyone else had this experience? I think the nature of how it was dealt with has had an affect on my recovery.

Mine was different as I had a MMC a bit later than yours which needed surgery to remove. After that though - zilch. No one to talk through possible reasons it happened or anything. It's shit. I'm shocked that you didn't even get a scan to check it's all gone. Did the leaflet say to come back if you don't get a period in a certain time?

It really is rubbish

Unfortunately that has largely been my experience too - unless you get to a third consecutive miscarriage they will chalk it up to being "common" and "happens to 1 in 4 pregnancies"

After just 1 mc there isn't much follow up they can do at this point - although if you're mental health is struggling I would speak to your G.P.

Btw - I would recommend the book "Miscarriage, what every woman should know" by Professor Regan.

It's a horrible time - look after yourself.

I had a missed miscarriage of my 1st pregnancy 2.5 weeks ago. The lack of conversation or follow up has really shocked and upset me. These things may be common to them, but to us, this is the worst and biggest thing to have happen. I work in mental health and it just seems like the lack of follow up and conversation is just asking for people to have anxiety and depression in the follow up.

so sorry for your experience x

@rmaun1986
I agree - even after 5 mc and 2 ruptured ectopics and permanent infertility I haven't been offered any 1-2-1 counselling

I know my hospital has a miscarriage support group but I've generally found groups to end up being a competition in grief and sometimes if you have a child already (or more than 1) you can be looked on differently

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted i've weighed up going to the support group i say the flyer for in the hospital (i wasn't evens sign posted to it!). I feel like I should give it a chance, but I can totally imagine it being as you said. I'm also conscious of willingly being in a situation of collective despair and if that is really helpful?

I really find it so shocking you weren't offered any counselling after so many losses. Awful. This is obviously a life trauma(s). Really sorry for all you have been through.

@rmaun1986
the collective despair is definitely an issue. Even in the social media support groups the constant loss is draining and I've left most of them now as I felt that they were hindering any progress mentally I was making

There is also a lot of bitterness and jealously that unwittingly comes out as a lot of posts are about members who are upset that family/friends have announced pregnancies and then there are those that consider miscarriages "worse" than ectopics and vice versa - it's exhausting!!

I have a gynaecologist follow up next month and I'm going to enquire about counselling and also through my IVF clinic

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted i am noticing that myself already with the facebook groups. I've "muted" it for 30 days so I can choose when i look and when i don't. Its really hard to know the balance between reaching out for shared and mutal understanding and support VS consuming yourself with it.
Life, as they say, must go on. What maddens me is pre-pregnany i was pretty happy in my life and content with what i had. I feel like a completely different person now.

Glad to hear you will ask about counselling and i'm sorry you're having to ask at all, it should be offered. Good luck with it x

I'm sorry to hear about your similar experiences. I've booked to see a counsellor privately this week as I feel like I need to do something, and I'd rather get on with it myself than wait to be referred or something.

Something really needs to be done as it sounds like so many of us are suffering even more than we need to because of the lack of follow up :-(