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MMC what to expect
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alphabetti · 09/09/2019 18:25

I thought I was 11weeks pregnant and on Fri afternoon after trying to go to toilet as was but constipated when I wiped afterwards there was red blood on tissue. No further bleeding just some brown/beige jelly like discharge.

Then on Sunday morning I tried to go to the toilet again and same thing happened. Again literally only 1 wipe of red blood then nothing else just same amount of the brown/beige discharge. No pain cramping etc

I spoke to the midwife team this morning and they booked me in for a scan at hospital. The doctor did it and said you’re very early about 6weeks but there is a heart beat and he turned the screen and said have a look.

There was just what looked like a black blob not a formed baby and I said this is not good I know I should be further along. I have 2 DC already and with my son he measured small at first on scans but he was formed how he should have been at that point. The doctor and nurse say they can’t make a decision until they check fir any growth in a weeks time. Myself and partner are devastated as we know the dates cannot be out by 5weeks.

Please can anyone let me know what I should expect to happen as I’d rather be prepared if I can. I feel sick to my stomach and my partner is being supportive but he is totally heartbroken. 2 of his cousins and best mate have all had babies within last month too so we surrounded by baby talk but will do our best to be pleased for other people.

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plixy · 10/09/2019 08:12

Hi, sorry to hear you are going through this. i sadly had 3 mmc before I eventually had my baby.
It might turn out ok but I can tell you what to expect if it doesn't.
At the rescan they will check if there has been any growth and if there is still a heartbeat. If there is you will continue to be monitored and offered a further scan.
If the heartbeat has stopped then they will unfortunately confirm it as a miscarriage.
At this point they will give you your options - 1. Wait for your body to bleed naturally. This could happen quickly or take some weeks to start.
2. Medical intervention. You will be given pills to open your cervix and you should start to bleed quite quickly. This isn't successful for everyone.
3. Surgical intervention. Operation under general anaesthetic. It's usually very quick day surgery.
Everyone feels differently on what to choose and they will talk through options with you.
If you have any questions let me know x

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alphabetti · 10/09/2019 14:08

@plixy thank you for your reply I do appreciate it. We were in shock when speaking to the nurse after the scan and afterwards had questions with no answers so made our heads spin.

I am mentally preparing myself for the worst and will try and think through my options ready for a conversation with them again next Monday. x

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plixy · 10/09/2019 21:15

It's an impossible thing to be prepared for, so just do your best. Even by the 3rd when I knew what was coming it was a shock and so hard to accept.
In a way the hardest part is this wait when you can't do anything. Even if it's not the news you want to hear and least you have an answer x

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futuredreams · 10/09/2019 21:42

So sorry. It might turn out to be ok but as others have helped it's good to know the options. I've had three miscarriages now and my most resent one I went to my 11 week scan and baby was measuring 10 weeks with no heartbeat this time. At 7 weeks we confirmed all was ok. It was a missed miscarriage. I opted for surgical management this time as they were testing tissue. I can explain this all and try to help if this is something that might come up. Don't hesitate to ask. I only had the surgery on Tuesday last week. Make sure you eat something. Drink lots of water and take care of yourself. Making sure you have someone to talk to will help more than you know. X

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Avocuddles · 10/09/2019 23:25

Hi and really sorry to hear about your experience. I miscarried for the 2nd time today, I'm 35 and have no children. I wasn't as far along as you but similarly had a scan last week which revealed that the baby had stopped developing at around 6 weeks - it still had a heartbeat at that point but was over a week behind date wise. On Sunday I had some bleeding when wiping which confirmed to me that the pregnancy was definitely over. A scan this morning confirmed that there was no longer a heartbeat. My bleeding has become heavier over the past few days (though no worse than a relatively heavy period) and this evening I passed the sac which was like a clear ball around an inch wide. I know every experience is different but I would say based on my own to try not to be scared, the reality has been nowhere near as bad as the expectation, it's the emotional side which is the hardest. I'm currently nursing a glass of wine which I hope will give me the first decent nights sleep in a while. I was told if things hadn't happened naturally by next week I would be offered surgical or medical management, however I hope that things progress naturally for you sooner rather than later so that you don't feel stuck in limbo. If you have any questions please feel free to drop me a message. I know that it feels like the loneliness experience in the world but sadly so many have been there x

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Avocuddles · 10/09/2019 23:27

Ps I understand your pain completely about being surrounded by babies. Three of my closest friends are all due within the next three weeks, it's going to be really hard but I spoke to all of them today and feel a lot better for it. What you're going through isn't fair but I promise you'll get there x

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alphabetti · 11/09/2019 10:33

@plixy thank you again for your advice. It does help to prepare and I’m so glad you got your baby after all the painful times you had to go through.

@futuredreams @Avocuddles Thank you both for your advice. I really hope you both get what you want in future. Life is so unfair sometimes and i do think the hardest thing at the time is just wanting to lock yourself away and deal with things yourself but having to explain to work etc makes it harder but guess we shouldn’t feel ashamed or like we’ve failed as it’s maybe just nature going through a process for a reason.

I am grateful I now have a better idea of what options might be given to me and I will try to go next Monday and be brave and deal with whatever is thrown at me and then hopefully we get a miracle in the future and if not be grateful for the life we have with the children I have already. I really hope everyone else affected by pregnancy loss finds a way to get the future they would like.

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