At 9 going on 10 weeks, I started bleeding the other day, went hospital and they scanned me and told me baby was very small for alleged age, 0.47cm i think? Said it could still grow but unlikely. And after all this I’m aware of my loss.
I don’t know how I feel about the situation. For the last few days the pain and then discomfort I’ve been in has more outweighed the mental and emotional trauma. But now, though still bleeding, the clotting and cramping has stopped, or the cramping has minimised should I say. Well. Now I just don’t know what to do with myself. I really made myself ready for this child. Now I feel like I’ve just lost my future.
I’ve actually written a blog page, just 1 post that I won’t add to, about the experience.
Because for some reason I just can’t talk to anyone, but writing my thoughts for strangers gives me even the slightest bit of comfort.
The cramping starts again when I stand up or walk, I’ve been in bed for 3 days straight. Is this normal?
I feel sad
Not sure what else, my mind just feels like a blur. I can’t even cry anymore, even tho I want to, I feel like I need to let it all out but maybe I already have. So what’s left in me? If anything.
I have to go for another scan in a couple of days which I’m dreading.
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