4th pregnancy loss, should I go private?

[Bella19961]

I'm wondering if anyone has any advice.

Myself and my partner are both young (I'm 22) & (he's 25).

I would say we lead considerably normal life's. We don't drink too much, my partner did smoke but has recently changed to a vape and I have never smoked.

None of us have ever taken drugs.

We have had a miscarriages at 11 weeks 4 days, 7 weeks, a ectopic pregnancy resulting in the loss of my left tube & now more recently a very early miscarriages 4 weeks.

I have been checked for a number of things by the NHS but don't feel they have ever taken me generally too seriously as I'm very young.

Yesterday I went for a check up as I had a positive pregnancy test and wasn't to sure how far along I was, I got told to go in straight away after my last surgery as I'm a higher risk of ectopic.

I went in and they did a pregnancy test and which came back negative ( obviously I was considerably upset and shocked due to having 4 positive tests on different days the same week).

I asked them if it was possible to do my bloods, to which they advised that the blood test would come back negative and therefore I just need to go home as I wasn't pregnant anymore. Considering my history I was very upset as they had sent me home when I had the ectopic and then I became very poorly very quickly.

I refused to go home and asked to speak to the matron and eventually they agreed to do a blood test - it came back positive however my HCG was very low. The midwife advised that I was probably already miscarrying ( a lot of my symptoms have gone and I'm guessing she's correct ).

However they have not once talked about a plan of action and don't seem to keen on referring me again due to my age and saying it's all " bad luck".

I'm obviously very upset by this as I've had some tests but my partner has had none. So the problem could lie with him. Is anyone able to tell me if there is any clinics which could offer advice or help me privately? I don't want to go through the hospital I have been attending as to be honest I've always remained calm in-till I have gone back there!!

Hello. I'm so sorry about your past experience of pregnancies. Your a very strong woman to have gone through all of this and still willing to carry on. I have had two m.c in the last year and had a molar pregnancy a few years ago. I have been having tests at my local hospital and my husband also had a sperm test at a local private clinic. (Which was paid for by the nhs) Have you tried researching clinics in your local area ? we still haven't had all the results back yet re all the tests. It's a shame they doing that to you. And I 100% agree it will be to do with your age. If you said you was 32 I think it would be a very different situation xxxxx

Can you get your partner to go to his GP and explain the situation? His GP should be able to refer him to get his sperm checked. Have you had the recurrent loss panel done on the NHS? You need to start pushing for referrals to the main miscarriage centres, I'm not sure where you are based but there is the main Tommy's one and also St Marys in london. Miscarriage care is shocking I think, I've dealt with so many clueless HCPs it makes me cross. I really hope you are in a better place soon, this is so shit

Before you look to go private I would ask your GP to refer you to a recurrent miscarriage clinic.

If you were 15 /20 years older I would advise you to look at going private. You have age on your side which is good. Good luck. There are some tests that the GP could do, thyroid function tests and possibly blood clotting tests.

Good luck, I've been where you are and I wish you all the best.

@barnyb @Thumbellini @Mamimawr thank you so much ladies.

I'm trying to get practical about it, I know I'm young but that suggests to me perhaps something is wrong.

I can see it's really starting to upset my partner now, I'm trying to make sure we keep strong to as you all are aware can be really hard ☹️

It's just difficult as not one friend or family can relate to us. I'll make a doctors appointment and go from there I think ladies. It's just so difficult as my early pregnancy unit are absolutely shocking!!

I'm actually thinking about requesting my notes because a lady suggested they wasn't even sure about my ectopic when I had my tube removed which really concerned me yesterday. I think I need to read them for myself!!

Thank you for all your advice. Unfortunately I'm not anywhere near London but I would be willing to travel if I could. I'm in Devon so not sure if anyone is aware of any facility's around here? X

@Bella19961 sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I'm also similar to you as I've had 4 miscarriages and only 24. I felt the same that the NHS didn't really take me seriously because age is on my side, but that doesn't make it any easier. They did some standard tests which came back normal and just said to keep trying. After the 4th we couldnt take anymore so went to see Dr Shehata in Epsom. I'm now on a complex treatment plan and about to start trying again. Feel free to PM if you want to ask any questions.

@Pop1234 hi pop!! Thank you so much for your reply, how do I private message you?! Xx

@Bella19961 you can't do it on the app you have to go on the actual website and log in. Then click on the little person symbol on the right and click inbox and you do it from there

Hi, NC'd as this is very personal. I have had 3 mc's and 1 ectopic in my right tube. Still have both tubes. Ectopic was managed without medication. I was very lucky and had a tubal mc. This is over the last 16 months. I have one ds. I'm in my early 30's and have been finally referred to the recurrent mc team at the local hospital. It's taken months. I booked an appt. With my Gp and explained in detail and when he was about to give me the brush off and say nothing was wrong I could get pregnant he ran bloods. I've come back positive for a possible autoimmune disorder. They are also investigating this. He has explained that an autoimmune disease can cause problems with clotting and some attack soft tissue which causes mc's. I would recommend that you ask to have a full blood panel done.

Also, maybe do another pregnancy in a couple of days. My ectopic was misdiagnosed as a mc due to low hcg. After 3 weeks of bleeding I randomly did another hpt and it was blazing positive. Went back and gp ordered a scan which is when they found it. Hormone levels can fluctuate and so can symptoms with an ectopic. Just be safe and use your instinct.

Good luck and hope all goes well for you x

I’m so sorry by your miscarriages. I have had eight miscarriages in total and have two children. I am now 10 weeks pregnant with my third baby. I went private after 5th miscarriage as I kept hearing it was bad luck and recurrent miscarriage clinic couldn’t find anything wrong. The private clinic found an auto-immune issue but it wasn’t a quick fix and I had two more miscarriages before I had my second son and another one afterwards, before becoming pregnant again. I always wanted a big family so I just kept trying and had the support of NHS and private dr. Sure there will be brighter times ahead.

@Hopender what do you mean bad luck?

Who did you go private with? Was it the NHS private clinic?

What was the things they tested you for?

Sorry about your losses and congratulations xx

The doctors I saw on the NHS at the recurrent miscarriage clinic thought the miscarriages were probably just bad luck, rather than there being something specifically wrong, and that I should keep trying. I disagreed after the 5th miscarriage and went to see Dr Shehata at the miscarriage clinic (www.miscarriageclinic.co.uk/profile/dr-hassan-shehata). It was pricey but I think he is the reason I had my last son and i’ve got to ten weeks with this pregnancy, although I guess it might have happened anyway. I’d try to get testing done by the NHS first though as it all adds up otherwise and if there is an obvious problem they will pick it up.

@Hopender

What tests did you get done on NHS. I've actually had all the blood tests done, had loads of scans, checked for endemortisis,
PCOS but they have just brushed me off saying I'm young and it's bad luck too..

I'm wondering if there is actually anything else they can do on the NHS or if I should go private. Did they test your partner on the NHS x

I’d probably go private if you’ve had all of those tests already. I had one for clotting and one that tested whether my husband and I were genetically incompatible (sorry was eight years ago so struggling to remember the name of it!). They didn’t test my husband.
I had loads of other tests through Dr Shehata. I also took the Zita West vitamins and did acupuncture around ovulation and implantation. I lost weight so I was at correct BMI and hardly drank and cut out caffeine. Tbh it was a bit extreme but I was determined to do everything I could and time was running out as I was getting older. I’m 42 now so i’m lucky to have got to number three. It has been a hard slog though. I’d do everything possible now as you are at best possible age. I saw it a bit like going into battle and I wasn’t going to give up until it happened. It has been worth it but it took a lot out of me. X

@Bella19961 so sorry for your losses. We lost our baby at 21 weeks, we were 26 and 28 at the time so I get where you're coming from with being young and nobody seeming concerned!
Do you live close enough to go to any of the Tommy's clinics? If you email, they'll let you know if you meet the criteria for any of them (I found that there was something available even though it wasn't on the website so it's worth an ask!) www.tommys.org/our-organisation/charity-research/our-clinics

I also had positive tests followed by a negative at the drs - who then refused a blood test. Had loss of symptoms, bleeding, told I was having another miscarriage and just sent home with no further advice or sympathy, my GP seemed annoyed I'd wasted her time. So every sympathy, it sucks.
I ring the local EPAU and explained the circumstances, however, and they allowed me to self refer as an exception. They gave me more tests and a v early scan - I really just wanted to know for sure I was miscarrying so I could start to grieve.
Long story short, a second early scan a week later confirmed a heartbeat, so there's always hope.

Do your research and decide if there's anything else you think you need to be tested for, for peace of mind. Things like thyroid/diabetes sometimes get overlooked and can be easy enough to book at the drs without a referral if you phrase it right!

Good luck xx

Just seen your local EPAU is shite - apologies!
Id definitely check your notes, find out exactly what blood tests have been done. They said they'd "run full tests" on me, but I just had a standard blood panel and a test for clotting.
Have you had a full hormone panel etc? So many possible causes that it's hard to know where to start looking.
If Tommy's can't offer you any extra tests, is it worth a private consultation to find out if there's any other tests the NHS could and should offer? Then you only need to stay private if those tests don't provide answers, or if they're not available.

Thank you so much @Hopender !
I had given up home untill you said your story so hopefully someone can help me.

I'm just going to have to keep pressing and pressing on untill I find the right doctor who wants to help!

@undertheoldoaktree

I'm so sorry to hear that😢 you brave lady, I can't even imagine.

It's soo frustrating isn't it, I just think how much physical pain and heart ache do we have to go through in order for them to help us.

I've just had a look on the website and it looks like we actually do meet the criteria for the research centre! I can't believe it!! Thank you so much! Do you know the email by any chance?

Thank you thank you thank you!!!!

@undertheoldoaktree thank you,

I've requested all my hospital notes as honestly they have been RUBBISH!

A lady actually said something to me which made me think they got my ectopic totally wrong the other day.. however I was in pain so I expect that's highly unlikely !

So I'm going to read my notes and if anything is wrong I certainly will be putting in a massive complaint!!!!

@Bella19961 it will happen! I know a lot of people that have had multiple miscarriages and they have all gone on to have children. I was where you are and now things couldn’t be more different! I always said I’d come back and tell people my success story if it happened as other people’s stories kept me going many times. I’m sure Dr Shehata will be able to help.

@bella19961 I can't remember the email I used, it was on the website somewhere! Needed a Drs referral and wasn't sure how that would go down as my GP can be pretty useless depending on who I get assigned! However, they made it really easy and in the end I just printed off the email where she told me what the GP needed to do and just took it with me - no problems at all.
There wasn't anything in the way of additional investigations into my miscarriage, but I don't know how things go for multiple MC vs a single late MC.
They did however do a couple of extra screenings during this pregnancy, and I would say it was definitely worth doing. These extra screenings are usually part of a research project, so it's really nice to feel that even if something goes wrong in this pregnancy, my baby will still have potentially contributed to finding answers or new treatments that may benefit both myself and others in the future.
The care and understanding was fantastic in comparison to that at my local hospital. So much more compassionate, being younger was a reason for sympathy rather than inaction. I also found that once the consultants twigged I was also being seen elsewhere, my care locally has improved. I feel like I've had 2 sets of people looking out for problems which is reassuring and has stopped me going completely mental with anxiety.