Ectopic pregnancy

[Laurakl]

Hi
I had an ectopic pregnancy at 12 weeks last July. I had my left tube removed. I was obviously heartbroken when it happened but just got on with it. It's now a year later and I'm not pregnant after trying. Having tests to see if my remaining tube is blocked.
I'm just wondering if it's 'normal' to feel more upset about my loss a year on? I feel more emotional and just keep crying.
We have our baby's ashes in the house because I can't bring myself to scatter them anywhere.
Juat looking for some advice.
Thanks.

I'm just home after my second ectopic where they removed my right tube (they removed my left tube last year due to a ruptured ectopic)

I think the first couple of weeks you feel thankful that your alive firstly (mine ruptured with terrible internal bleeding) and then there is the recovery period to get through and then everything you are told is that having one tube doesn't reduce fertility by much and that the other tube can sweep across and collect the egg during ovulation blah blah blah - even though my right ovary was found to be the most dominant one and I ovulate that side 80% of the time for over 15 months I didn't have a sniff of a BFP

I think I've held on to the hope that there was still a chance over the last year and every month Ive got more frustrated and upset when it didn't happen

We moved on to IVF in the end as couldn't take the pressure and upset anymore earlier this year - unfortunately that too ended in a live ectopic which was a surprise as there should have been minimal risk - HSG showed remaining tube was clear and also hcg was doubling faster than the 48 hour usual time

I feel numb today that I'll never conceive naturally again but at least both tubes are gone now so the risk of having another ectopic should be pretty much zero

We opted for cremation of our babies both times - I'm not sure i could cope with them being in the house x