This time last week I was just over 24 weeks pregnant, heading into the hospital to be induced into labour to deliver my already passed baby. 😢
At our 20 week scan we were told that our baby was in a difficult position to see their heart structures, I was therefore booked a follow up appointment 3 weeks later so this could be checked. At this second scan we were almost instantly referred to GOSH, where we received more news. The baby had a hole in their heart, and although not ideal, it could be fixed relatively low risk once the baby was born. However, I was referred over to UCLH for an amniocentesis test in the meantime, to see if there were any chromosome deficiencies, as they can be linked to heart problems, and this would affect the overall outcome. At UCLH we had the amnio, but further referrals back to GOSH, as they believed there to be more wrong. Back at GOSH we had the heartbreaking news that the problems with our baby's heart were infact so severe that the baby would not survive outside of me. We were utterly heartbroken, shocked, angry and confused.
Following this news I had to go back to UCLH for an injection to stop my baby's heart, then go onto deliver our baby two days later.
Labour was extremely tough, like pain I have never before experienced, but I got through it with my amazing husband at my side.
Now almost a week on from having to leave our baby girl (who we named Alia) in the hospital I am not sure how to feel. I have moments of extreme sadness, where I just stare into space, and others where I feel like I can do this.
I wondered if there were any other mums out there that have been through something similar and if they had any advice?
We still want to continue to have a family in the future. But when we will be ready for that I don't know? I can't imagine how scared I would feel if I were pregnant again...?
Any advice from any lovely people would be gratefully received xxxx
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Losing our baby
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Prawn2019 · 03/07/2019 09:54
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