MMC at 40 years old

[Taloola40]

Hello,

I was lucky enough to find out i was pregnant with my third child at 40. Everything seemed to be going well, I was getting sore boobs, sickness and tired all the time. The day before my 12 week scan I woke up bleeding, no pain just blood on wiping. Later that day I had a scan and was advised that the baby lost heartbeat around 8 weeks. Heartbroken doesn’t even come close. I was sent home with the 3 choices to think about, surgery, natural or medication. That night things went down hill very fast, I knew I passed baby, but unfortunately I started to bleed bad, I was rushed to hospital and had surgery. I Always thought I could empathise with those i new had misscarried but i was so wrong. This has ripped me open emotionally and I’m really struggling, I am so lucky to have 2 children and a step child but I have a void. I try not to think about it at the moment as I’m still raw, but I’m not getting younger, is it too soon to be thinking of ttc again? Can I handle this pain again?

Very sorry to hear. I have had 5 miscarriages now after having DC very easily. Only your heart can tell you what to do. I’ve kept trying but without much hope of success. for you.

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

Yes a mmc is an underestimated trauma.

Yes you can handle the pain again. Yes you will be fine. But not today. It just is a different and difficult time.

Thank you detangler. Your in my thoughts x

I feel for you OP. I'm 38 and have had 2 mmcs. They are emotionally and physically draining. Have u told anyone in 'real life' ? People will say the wrong thing, not intentionally but they just don't know what to say. Give yourself time to grieve, it does get easier over time. x

Thank you Ohio x

Hi Daisychainsforever, only my partner and close friend knew. My friend doesn’t know what to say and is sending completely unrelated memes!! That’s what’s getting me also, how did I not know that 4 weeks prior baby passed! I know I’m just torturing myself, and probably will for some time. This is so hard!

@Taloola40, you absolutely wouldn't have known, please don't think this way. An MMC means there are no negative symptoms and it might even be the case that you're experiencing all positive signs of pregnancy as well which is obviously reassuring. There is absolutely nothing you've missed or could have done differently, nothing at all. Love from someone who has just been through this

Thank you MrsMGE, it’s amazing how strangers can give you that little bit of hope needed x

No need to thank me @Taloola40. It's a horrible thing to happen and I often ask myself how on earth I'm still standing tbh. But you do, you go through it and you try again if and when you feel it's the right thing to do. You will always hold your baby in your heart and never, ever forget ❤️ For now, please be kind to yourself, it's a really difficult experience and all of us here do understand very well. Talk to us whenever you feel like it. Lots of love x

Sending you much love during your loss. We are here for you and we understand xx

So sorry for your loss @Taloola40 I can relate to alot of your post. I'm 39 and just had my 5th loss (I have a daughter which I am so thankful for) and I ask myself the same thing every time. It's really hard. Hope you're doing ok xx

Hi..I’m almost 40 and have just had my 3rd missed miscarriage in a row. We are devastated..I was 11 weeks this time and thought everything was ok as I’d been scanned at 7,8,9 weeks and all was well. We also have children and I’m blessed with them I know but I wanted this little one so much. It took us 14 months to conceive after the second mc too. I want to try again but we have to wait now for the genetic tests to come back. I’m sorry for your loss and really do understand the pain and sadness you are feeling. It’s just heartbreaking.

@TM1979 I am so sorry for your losses. Going through this again seems inconceivable and my heart goes out to all of you who have went through this multiple times. In my heart I know I want to try again when the time is right. Sending love to everyone and please keep me updated on progress. We strong! Xx