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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Anyone around? Questions about MMC.

14 replies

dirtymopbucket · 15/06/2019 07:14

Hi all

Had my 12 week scan yesterday (Friday), and was told that the baby had no heartbeat and was measuring 11 weeks. I have surgical management booked for Wednesday.

Feeling awful, obviously, and because it was such a shock I don't feel like I asked all the questions that I should have done while at the hospital so I was wondering if there was anyone who knows a bit about this who could advise.

Firstly - I know 11 weeks is technically still an "early miscarriage" but it seems really late - if there was something like a chromosomal problem wouldn't the pregnancy have ended earlier??

Is it worth asking them to do another scan and see if they can tell what's wrong? I know there might be nothing that shows up on the scan but I'd like them to try if thats even a small possibility. They said they send it off for analysis to see if it was a molar pregnancy, but don't do any other tests..

Wednesday seems a long time away... What should I do if I start to pass the pregnancy at home? They said that if I had medical management I'd have to come in to hospital to do it due to being so far along - does that mean it would be awful if it happened at home? How big would the baby be? How likely is that to happen?

And, linked to that, should I stay off work till Wednesday? I feel ok, physically at least, but obviously it would be awful for the miscarriage to happen at work.

Sorry to ask so many questions. And sorry to anyone else who has been through this. It's shit.

OP posts:

Bumpingalong84 · 15/06/2019 10:03

I’m really sorry for your loss. I didn’t want to read and run.

I’m not sure I can give you much advice but 3 weeks ago I also had a missed miscarriage, at my 12wk scan we were told the embryo had stopped developing at 8 weeks after seeing a heartbeat at 7 weeks it was utterly devastating. The gestational sac had continued to grow even tho the embryo hadn’t.

I had medical management followed by surgical a few days later due to complications but the sac is large, about the size of a mango I’d say, I would say if I was you I would be off work. It’s a very traumatic time and you won’t be able to concentrate. If it ever happened again I would definitely opt for surgical management after my experience! Hopefully you won’t start bleeding naturally and the procedure will be straight forward on Wednesday

Soleste · 15/06/2019 14:24

Hi @dirtymopbucket, so sorry for your loss. I can’t answer all your questions as my MMC was slightly earlier at 9 weeks but I can let you know of my experience. I was also booked in for surgical management however it all happened naturally the evening before the surgery. I was actually pleased it happened this way as I was terrified about the anaesthetic. It may be different for you at 12 weeks (I’m sure others will be able to advise) but for me it was a couple of hours of pain (slightly worse than period pains). Lots of blood as you can imagine but it was manageable and I felt better for being at home whilst it was happening. I would definitely advise you stay off work as it all happened very quickly once it started. Can you call the EPU before Wednesday to discuss some of your questions?

sadtoday21 · 15/06/2019 16:27

@dirtymopbucket I'm so so sorry for your loss. The same thing happened to me at the 12 week scan - I had an mmc and was told the heartbeat had stopped at around 9 weeks and was booked in for surgery the next day. I didn't have any signs of miscarriage prior to the scan and it was one of the most shocking and worst experiences of my life. I had the d&c the next day and it went fine, they did send the "tissue" off for testing, and five weeks later I found out that it was in fact a partial molar pregnancy. The baby died because of chromosomal issues and it would never have lived past 12 weeks anyway.

I didn't have medical management, but some other ladies have blogged about their experience here: mcandbeyond.weebly.com/physical-management. You can compare the natural, medical, and surgical management routes on that page. From what I have read, it is painful to pass the baby at home, but not unbearably so if you have painkillers and lots of hot water bottles/pads. The baby and sac will be about the size of your palm, given your dates. You will feel some contractions and "passing tissue" and there will be lots of blood. You have to "catch" the fetus in something if you want them to do testing on it later. It's a natural process, but can be quite traumatic nonetheless and you don't want to be on your own for it. Thinking of you and sending you hugs in this difficult time xxx.

Original poster

dirtymopbucket · 15/06/2019 18:48

Thanks all. I'm so sorry that you've all been through this horrible experience. I will stay off work. Thank you for the advice. I didn't know if I was being pathetic.

Does anyone know whether it would be ridiculous to ask them to scan again just to see if it otherwise looks "normal". Surely if it's measuring 11 weeks they can still do the measurements that they'd otherwise do to check for downs etc? Or would there be too much deterioration already?

Urgh. This sucks.

OP posts:

Sunflower40 · 15/06/2019 19:03

Hi. I had a Mmc detected last Wednesday & surgical treatment on the Friday, it was my 12 wk scan & baby was measuring 10+2. I went to work on the Thursday to try & take my mind off what was happening, just took pads with me in case anything happened. I was offered & had a further scan at the hospital before the surgery. It was the same sonographer, she was so kind & I'm glad I did it. They asked before if I wanted to see the scan screen & if I wanted photos. All done sensitively & no judging.
The actual procedure was ok, minimal pain (to what I was expecting) and bleeding stopped after 5 days. I was home by 3 in the afternoon. I still am struggling emotionally but feel a bit less teary each day.
Sending you hugs, it's truly such an awful thing to happen 💐 be kind to yourself for the next while.

Original poster

dirtymopbucket · 15/06/2019 20:47

Thanks sunflower, and for you too. It does help to have an idea of what's coming. I think I'll ask about the scan on Wednesday.

OP posts:

aweedropofsancerre · 15/06/2019 20:53

I have had three MMC and the view from the medics was its natures way. 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Its shit but it is what it is. One of my MMC was at 20 weeks and it was truly awful...having had the 12 week scan and thinking all was ok. Turns out the pregnancy hadn't progressed beyond 14 weeks. Focus on recovering

Original poster

dirtymopbucket · 15/06/2019 20:59

Oh aweedropofsancerre that's awful I'm so sorry.

OP posts:

aweedropofsancerre · 15/06/2019 22:45

dirtymopbucket it was tough but I have since had three healty babies....so hope all goes well for you in the future

cheeseislife8 · 16/06/2019 14:09

So sorry for your loss it's utterly shit. I had a MMC at 11+6 last July and it's still quite raw at times. Be patient with yourself and definitely take as much time off work as you need to if it's possible. I went back too early and regret it now

Original poster

dirtymopbucket · 16/06/2019 16:44

Thanks cheese, and I'm sorry for yours too.

OP posts:

sportmixture · 17/06/2019 18:05

Hi, @dirtymopbucket, I’m so sorry for your loss, I am in a similar situation, I had my 12 week scan on Thursday and was told there had been no development since 8/9 weeks, and similar to @bumpingalong84 I had an early scan where I had seen the heartbeat a few days before, I was sent home to decide what I would like to do and am hoping it will start naturally, my partner is unable to be with me until Wednesday and if nothing happens by then I guess I will have to consider medical management, but the same thing happened last year and it happened naturally although was distressing particularly when the baby passes, I just want to all to know my thought are with you and it’s difficult when you are getting used to preparing to be a mother and have it taken away without warning, sending you all my love xx

Original poster

dirtymopbucket · 17/06/2019 19:39

Thank you sportmixture, and I'm so sorry for your loss too. Yes, I think it's getting used to the fact that all the plans I had made have gone to shit that is the most difficult thing at the moment. It's my mum's birthday this Friday and I was planning to tell her then - it would have been her first grandchild and she would have been so happy. Urgh. Sending love and to you too.

OP posts:

TM1979 · 21/06/2019 10:16

Hi, I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. I’m in a similar situation so I really do sympathize. Last Friday 14th at my booking appointment I found out out my little baby has no heartbeat. I was 11 weeks but baby measuring at 10+1. I was scanned at 7,8 and 9 weeks and all was well so it was huge shock. This is my third missed miscarriage in 2 years. I opted for a D&C which was on Wednesday. My other mc’s happened naturally at home at 9 & 7 weeks so I was terrified of the procedure and while it was a horrible sad day I’m glad it’s over me now. As it’s my third loss my baby is being sent away for genetic testing and I’m being referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic in August.
As for asking to be scanned again..I did this too and it was no problem. They took me to the EPU just before the D&C. I just had to see again for sure even though deep down I knew I wasn’t going to get a miracle but for my own head I need to do it. Physically I feel ok..very tired and a bit sore, not crampy but more like I’ve been doing sit ups or something. Mentally I’m devastated and cannot believe it’s happened to us again. I really thought this time we’d be ok.
Anyway take some time off work and look after yourself as much as you can.

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