Specialist conversation

8 replies

Mochiface · 05/06/2019 03:43

Hi all,

I just want to clarify first that i haven't had my appointment with the NHS yet at the recurrent miscarriage clinic but have been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic. However, my sil's friend is a midwife and she knows a specialist so I just spoke to this specialist just to understand the situation better and what to expect. After hearing my situation, she said she won't have counted my chemical pregnancies (three) as miscarriages, in fact she said that she thought my last one was just an evap line as my bloods results as low although NHS confirmed it as a miscarriage. I took five to six tests (I know excessive) and all came up within 30 seconds as I couldn't believe it myself as I conceived after my first cycle after my missed miscarriage. She she said the second one she also wouldn't count as it might hvae been hormones remaining as I didn't hvae my period and conceived. Although at the time the hospital we had done the pregnancy test to confirm negative after my first and the second pregnancy my hormones were at 39 or something at the time testing with NHS.

That's what I fear the most, as though these pregnancies had never happened and I imagined it all. It sounds strange and I'm not sure if anyone has ever felt this way as it's so early and just like that people will dismiss the way you feel.

I understand chemical pregnancies and miscarriages these types of terminology and it's completely okay to correct me but to say that I was never pregnant that many times was extremely disheartening.

OP posts:

Knitclubchatter · 05/06/2019 03:51

sometimes medical terminology isn't very kind.
i'm not familiar with specifics of what a specialist will consider a pregnancy.

Chottie · 05/06/2019 03:56

I've just read your story and I am so very sorry. Please just wait for your appointment with the NHS and ignore the friend of a friend 'specialist'. She doesn't have access to your full medical records and I feel shocked that a 'specialist' would make a diagnosis based purely on a conversation with you. I hope you are treated with more sympathy and understanding at your NHS appointment

Thumbellini · 05/06/2019 10:34

Was the specialist a dr? I've been to a few consultants now and they all counted my chemicals as losses. The pattern is important, it shows an issue with implantation etc. Wait for your NHS appointment but be prepared for this kind of attitude and to hold your own against it. So sorry you are going through this

Original poster

Mochiface · 06/06/2019 10:18

Thank you guys. I just really needed this to keep me sane. It was so hard to hold my tears back as I was so upset by the comments. Yeah, she's a doctor, and that's what I'm dreading that people will speak to me like that and undermine my experiences, almost telling me that I just imagined what's happened.

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RedPandaFluff · 06/06/2019 11:08

@Mochiface that's so hard. Chemicals are particularly cruel, I think - hope and happiness are held out to you but snatched away so quickly. I ended up feeling foolish and guilty after mine, on top of the grief and sadness.

I've dealt with specialists who think they "count" so I hope you experience the same. If not, ask to see someone else.

An egg was released, was fertilised, it started developing and implanted; your body started producing hcg and preparing to carry a baby. Of course it counts, even if it was brief 💐

Thumbellini · 08/06/2019 15:34

Also - just to add I've just read Lesley Regan's book on miscarriage and she definitely counts CPs. She is the head of the RCOG so if she counts them everyone else should too. Especially drs with an interest in recurrent miscarriage. It was an enlightening if depressing read lol

Original poster

Mochiface · 10/06/2019 17:13

Thanks @RedPandaFluff It's worrying enough that most of my pregnancies hasn't really made it too far and for the specialist to say that she won't count them and saying I've read my pregnancy tests wrong was extremely disheartening. Just felt like each heartbreak hadn't been accounted for. You absolutely hit the nail on the head.

Hi @Thumbellini thanks, and that sounds like a very interesting book. I'll have a Google!

OP posts:

strawberrye · 15/06/2019 07:15

Hi @mochiface I'm so sorry to hear you've had this experience. I have had a similar experience. I've been TTC for 21 months now and have had 3 chemical pregnancies in that time. I was referred to my local recurrent miscarriage clinic and the consultant there also implied my losses didn't count either, she discharged me and told me to keep trying but to make sure I got a blood HCG check next time I thought I was pregnant just to make sure I actually was! I felt like screaming at her - if my pregnancies don't count then why aren't you helping me for infertility seeing as we've been trying for almost 2 years and no baby?!?

I think this dismissal really had a negative effect on my mental health. I felt I was stuck in a grey area between infertility and recurrent miscarriage and neither party wanted to help me.

I was seen at Tommy's in Coventry recently and Professor Quenby told me there is some controversy about chemical pregnancies but as far as she is concerned, they are miscarriages. She is one of the leading specialists in recurrent miscarriage and has a subspecialist interest in implantation failure which we both think is my issue. I would highly recommend getting a referral to her

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