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2 miscarriages back to back
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Marmitepeanutbutterandhoney · 20/05/2019 18:04

Not sure why I’m posting really other than to say how utterly in despair I feel.

I fell pregnant in February, then had a miscarriage in March followed by a D&C. I took it very hard and felt very low, but a miracle happened and I fell pregnant 10 days after th W operation.

I was so excited and happy and felt so lucky to have been blessed again. I really thought things would work out and we would have a little Christmas baby.

Yesterday I had a gush of blood followed by the gestational sac and the little embryo. I was 8+1. I had a scan this morning and I am now booked in for a D&C.

I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and I can’t stop crying. I feel like I am grieving for two babies. I don’t know how to get out of the depression I’m in. My partner is struggling with me like this and keeps telling me to move on. I doesn’t feel so easy. My heart is broken into a million pieces.

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alwaysthinkingofsleep · 20/05/2019 20:13

💐 I'm so sorry for your losses. Allow yourself time to grieve & feel sad but talk to your partner & get through it together.

It will not matter to you one jot right now but I have been there & come out the other side with a happy ending. X

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BellaBellaBelle · 20/05/2019 20:47

I am so sorry for your losses, you’ve been through an incredibly traumatic experience. I hope you’re getting some support and allowing yourself time to grieve.
I hope you don’t mind me saying, but I went through 3 miscarriages back to back last year and was at the point of giving up. I’m now 20 weeks pregnant with a very straightforward normal pregnancy. Just wanted to say don’t give up hope x

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snowdroplet · 20/05/2019 22:23

Sorry you are going through this. You just had a mmc yesterday, let yourself grieve. It takes time to heal, be kind too yourself. How you are feeling is normal. Your partner might not realise its normal and while also will feel sad, it won't have been so real for him. Your body had experienced so much change and hormones will have made it so much more real for you.

I have just had back to back miscarriages and found it devastating. With 2 pregnancies i was pregnant for 5 months without only 2 weeks between mc. I felt completely broken and to a certain extent still do.

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Marmitepeanutbutterandhoney · 21/05/2019 12:35

Thank you for your lovely messages. And so sorry for everyone’s losses. It really is a horrible thing. Flowers to you all.

I am just sitting in the hospital now waiting for the D&C. I’ve been crying non stop. I wish I could pull myself out of this Sad

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BellaBellaBelle · 21/05/2019 21:27

I hope it’s gone as well as it can do today. Have you been able to go home? Thinking of you today.

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Marmitepeanutbutterandhoney · 21/05/2019 21:48

Still here! Hope to go home in the morning. What an ordeal.

My anxiety is through the roof with what ifs “what if two D&Cs in a row have made me infertile” “what if I do manage to fall pregnant but it’s an ectopic” “what if my partner doesn’t want to try again?” “ what if I stay this depressed?”

I’m mentally wrecked!

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RedSheep73 · 21/05/2019 21:54

I'm so sorry. I lost 3 pgs in a row, and I was in pieces, it's heartbreaking. Give yourself some space to grieve before you give it another go. And I really hope it works out for you in the end.

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RedSheep73 · 21/05/2019 21:56

And 2 d&C's definitely won't make you infertile. Honestly. Unless you have some underlying problem, the odds for your next pg are just the same as if it was your first.

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SAMlady · 21/05/2019 22:03

I also had two in a row - I completely understand your feelings as you start to think maybe it's not meant to be and you have to re-adjust everything.
My GP said to have a month off trying as a minimum to let the body recover, next month nothing happened but then went on to have a full term complication free pregnancy.

I really wish the same for you. Be kind to yourself and let the grief come out Thanks

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kittycat01 · 21/05/2019 22:58

@Marmitepeanutbutterandhoney I'm so sorry you've been through this. I am currently pregnant again after 3 consecutive losses (including one MMC where I had to have a D&C) all within 6 months. All I can say is I was completely the same as you- I was so depressed and couldn't sleep or stop crying. I was off work sick for a while and I came off social media because I couldn't face the excessive 'I'm so happy I have a baby' baby posts and even blocked certain people from WhatsApp so they couldn't contact me while I was low. DH and I argued so much and I just didn't know what to do or how to feel happy again.

Time does heal but although I am pregnant again I am extremely anxious and I am still not completely myself still. This pregnancy and every future pregnancy is ruined as I will never feel excited as I am worried that I'll lose this pregnancy and I'll hit rock bottom again and will have to have time off work and my colleagues will be gossiping again and make me feel worse than I already did!

Nobody understands just how terrible a miscarriage is and just thinks you should snap out of it! All I can say is be selfish and do whatever makes you feel that slight bit happier. Time does heal...but if only we could fast forward. Take care xxx

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Marmitepeanutbutterandhoney · 22/05/2019 07:00

I feel so supported by your messages and able to take comfort that there is not something particularly wrong with me, that actually, this just sometimes happens, as awful as it is.

I am still in the hospital, I just want to go home now - I haven’t slept a wink all night. I’m going to try and looking after myself a bit when I get home. After the first miscarriage I stopped eating, putting make up on etc. I just (barely) got on with the basics of life. My OH said I looked like a skeleton. No idea how we fell pregnant straight away again.

Obviously, when I saw two lines on the test everything turned around and I started my vitamins, eating very well and generally feeling really happy.

Now I feel I have sunken back into the black hole. Everything seems a struggle, but maybe I just need to, I don’t know go get my hair done, have a facial etc. Ha seems a bit trivial. Can you tell I’m looking for any solution to escape this pain?!

Suggestions welcome.

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Marmitepeanutbutterandhoney · 22/05/2019 07:01

Kitty - I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you. I really hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy Star

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mrsfeatherbottom · 22/05/2019 07:11

I can empathise - I had two miscarriages in 6 months and was devastated. Found it very hard to find joy in anything, not helped by being surrounded by pregnant friends and family. DH, although very sad did not react like I did. We planted a tree on what would have been the due date of the first.

I went on low dose aspirin the next two times I got pregnant and carried both to term so speak to your GP about trying that. We don't know for sure if it worked but I felt like I needed to try something.

Be kind to yourself. Any questions, just ask.

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alwaysthinkingofsleep · 22/05/2019 11:35

Doing something "trivial" to make you feel better is a great idea & don't feel guilty for enjoying it! Do anything you like or something as a treat - hair, nails, buy a new book, lash lift (I've always wanted one...), lunch with a good friend at somewhere you love...little moments of nice things can help you to have an escape from your grief. Neglecting yourself will probably make you feel worse. I partied way too much after my miscarriages & it didn't really help. But most of all, get a good night of sleep 💐

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