Due dates and moving forward

[Pinktruffle]

I miscarried at 11 weeks at the end of October. My due date is fast approaching - 20th May, days from my birthday. I had convinced myself I would be pregnant again by now and I would be fine because I would have that to focus on. I'm not pregnant, am very much struggling to get pregnant, my age is against me on this too and I'm starting to lose all hope in myself and the future. I don't know how to keep going.

Any of you been through this and got any coping ideas or things that helped them?

Oh OP, I'm so sorry. I lost my baby, due on Christmas day, at 21 weeks. The due date is pretty awful - and I totally understand how awful it is for it to coincide with a day of celebration. I too thought I'd be pregnant by then - in fact I'd convinced myself it would be the only way I'd ever be able to get over the miscarriage. I had in my head that if I was pregnant again before my due date and had a baby I adored, then the miscarriage would be minimised because I'd know my loved baby wouldn't be able to be here if it wasn't for the miscarriage, IYSWIM. This obviously makes no sense at all looking back!
Maybe not the most sensible or mature of suggestions, but I found the due date to be awful - so if you're able to, I'd take a couple of days off, get a good dose of Valium or similar from your doctor, and just curl up in bed with a mountain of chocolate, a box set that won't trigger anything negative and have a bloody good cry and sleep through most of it.
Once it was over and done with, I felt like a weight had been lifted, it was one less thing looming over me. I could finally focus on moving forward, and I really do hope you get a similar sense of relief once you're through it.
I conceived again very soon after the due date - DH thinks the stress and despair had just been too much up until that point and my body was trying to protect itself (in hindsight a load of pregnancy hormones would have been the last thing I needed at the time) - and much as it pains me to admit it, I think he was probably right.
I'll be thinking of you on the 20th, and have everything crossed you get some good news soon x