Wanting to be alone

[Chanel05]

I've had a mmc and am awaiting my ERPC next week. My mum has come to stay with me for a few days (we don't live locally). We have a very strained relationship and aren't very close at all. She said would you like me to go and I said it's up to you. To be honest I want to be alone. How can I say to her without offending her that I want to be alone?

I am going through this too. I've just had a miscarriage and because it was in the second trimester we had told everyone about the pregnancy. So then had to tell people we lost the baby. I'm such a private person and I found it really hard not being able to choose who to speak to. It's felt so public. And my family are being really kind but all want to meet up and visit. It's just too much. I just want to come to terms with it slowly and quietly. My mum is desperate to visit and be here but although we get on our relationship can be strained. I have not been able to rely on her in the past and have felt let down. I can't suddenly have a close relationship. It's tough but I sympathise. I don't know what the answer is.

@Rainyshowers I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. I ended up just saying how I felt. It seemed a bit difficult at first but I tried to explain that I haven't been alone yet since it happened but when I have the ERPC, the feelings on the day and after knowing it's gone are entirely my own to feel and I didn't want my first experience of being alone being that vulnerable.

I'm sorry for your loss @Chanel05 I'm the same and have voiced my opinion and think it has gotten through though I still get frustrated when ppl try to "help" they just don't understand. I hope your ok and deal with it any way you see fit because that's all you can do x take care and come chat if you want to, it's about what you need xxx

@Lovestruk I'm sorry for your loss too. I've really found that a lot of friends and family (and I know they mean well of course) tell me how I should be feeling and this will help, that will help but no one has actually said "tell me how you're feeling at this moment". I think if you're not shrieking and sobbing round the house people assume you're over it and that's not the case at all! I just feel numb like I have no more tears left at the moment.

I know I've been numb too and in hysterics the next minute x don't worry about them if you can in a calm clear kind way tell them you don't need their advice or help but appreciate that they want to help and instead to ask you if there is anything you need instead of forcing things on you, I have done this and find it helps, I'm left alone but am checked on to see if there's anything I need. Ppl are afraid to ask you how your feeling Chanel, ppl in general are afraid of emotion but if you wanna chat I'm here I know how your feeling and will understand or even if you just wanna let off some steam or have any questions ok x mind yourself and do what's best for you xxx