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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Feeling very sad

11 replies

Kayjay2018 · 15/04/2019 14:26

Hi, I should have been 7weeks pg today and instead I’m miscarrying my baby.

All seemed to be going ok till I had some pink then brown spotting early last week. I had a scan at my local epu on Thursday and I was relieved when the found everything present that should be and I even got to see a heartbeat.

Baby measured a bit small 3.5mm, but with the heartbeat they said I was less that six weeks rather than the 6w3d that I thought. They rebooked a scan to check growth for two weeks time. No reason for why I was spotting.
I had on off niggly pains straight after the scan, then nothing Friday at all.

Saturday awoke to more spotting and minor cramps, I was still hoping all was ok as I’d seen a heartbeat. Just before midnight I had some intense period pains and started to bleed like a period. This got worse over the next two hours and I passed some material that could only have been baby related. Bleeding eased a little after that and I’m only bleeding like a period now.

I’m devastated, I had really got my hopes up and now it’s all gone. I phone epu this morning and left a message but they haven’t phoned me back. I don’t want another scan to tell me what I already know. Do any of you know if I have to have another scan???

I’m 37 (38 next month) an my husband is 51, so time isn’t on our side Sad

OP posts:
NBparis · 15/04/2019 18:10

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know exactly how devastating that is.

When I had a mmc around the same time, it was a little different as I took tablets to induce but I definitely had to go for a scan after the bleeding (maybe two weeks after) to make sure everything was gone. I know how horrible it is - I always avoided looking at the screen and hoped to get a sensitive sonographer - but I think it is needed to make sure everything is gone as it can cause problems if you have an incomplete miscarriage.

Be kind to yourself and take time to recover, mentally as well as physically. It is such a tough time.

Original poster
Kayjay2018 · 15/04/2019 18:35

Thank you for your kind words, I’m sorry you have suffered a loss too. I suppose I was lucky to get the scan last week as it gave me a chance to see my baby, i got to see it’s heartbeat and try gave me a picture to take home, I will treasure that all my life.

I have called epu today and left a message and they have not called back (they told me to call if things changed after my scan). I’ll call my go in the morning and see what they say in the morning.

OP posts:
WifOfBif · 15/04/2019 18:37

I’m so sorry your going through this, I have also had miscarriages previously and have some idea of how you must be feeling.

Wishing you strength and hope for the future Flowers

Aimily · 15/04/2019 18:39

I'm so sorry for your loss, I was in your place in September last year. I had my positive with my GP, started bleeding so called surgery to tell them to discount my sample, they told me it was positive and sent me to the mat unit to be scanned on the Monday as this was the Friday evening.

I hope you get the support you need and the baby you and your husband so clearly want and deserve soon! xx

jackstini · 15/04/2019 18:45

So sorry for your loss Thanks

It's a horrible thing to go through but yes you will need a scan to check nothing has been retained. This is so you are able to conceive again

I had one chemical pregnancy and one MMC where I had to have a D&C as I didn't miscarry naturally
The surgeon and sonographer were really lovely and looked after me well. Even the porter was so kind

I now have 2 wonderful dc but never forget the 2 I lost
My thoughts are with you

betterbehomesoon · 15/04/2019 19:16

I'm so sorry for your loss - I miscarried at 8 weeks, I'm 37 too and it was just devastating. Make sure you are kind to yourself, honour your little baby however you like (we got a plant) and know you won't forget them. Your child only felt the love you have for it. You are being so brave and your strength will help you through the pain. Sending you a bit hug.

Artemisduck · 15/04/2019 23:09

Thinking of you and so sorry for your loss. I know its devastating and the process can feel long and surreal. I had a missed miscarriage in November and am turning 37 this year. I cling on to those stories of women in their 40s having babies!! Take care of yourself during this time- give yourself time to grieve and keep talking to your partner. I hope you'll soon be a mum again. X

Original poster
Kayjay2018 · 16/04/2019 08:13

Thank you for you messages, finally managed to speak to someone from EPU today, I have to do a pregnancy test in 2 weeks and only let them know if it’s still positive.

Pains are stronger again this morning which is making me feel pretty pants, I can’t stop crying.

OP posts:
Artemisduck · 16/04/2019 09:33

So sorry kayjay2018, it is such a hard and distressing process. The pains are horrible, does a hot water bottle or bath help you? It was comforting to me - and nice to have a warm hot water bottle to cuddle. In a way, through your tears and the bleeding, your body is healing. It will soon be over but take this time to grieve and just 'be' - how you are feeling is totally valid. Sending hugs x

Original poster
Kayjay2018 · 16/04/2019 09:36

Thank you, other than here I have no one to talk to. Hubby is at work and being a man doesn’t really get it, and no one else knew we were expecting. I have a 15year old son who is obviously about as its Easter school holidays, so having to be normal ish around him.

OP posts:
betterbehomesoon · 16/04/2019 11:28

Sending you a big big supportive hug XX You aren't alone in this, we are all here for you.

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