In limbo... waiting to 'finish mc'

[TizzyTess]

Just that really. I'm in limbo.

Had a scan at 5+5 due to bleeding and small clot. Told pregnancy of unknown location and bled for exactly 6 days. Then for 2 weeks have had hCG tested every 48 hours which were low and static, so was told to wait and see, retest in 7 days.
In that 7 days got my energy back, felt great and finally got my concentration back at work after such a heartbreaking couple of weeks... only to be tested and my level had gone up! Not by a lot but it's the wrong way!

Now have to wait another 7 days (til Monday) to be retested and find out more. In the meantime they think I may 'finish mc'ing' and need to stay local in case I become symptomatic as they still won't rule out possible ectopic tissues.

This is where I feel in limbo - I commute to work (2 hour drive each way) and because of this they have signed me off until Monday. I know they are being cautious but other than the odd twinge I feel fine.

I have grieved, I have sobbed, I have shouted, I have been angry and now to be honest I just want to move on. But being stuck at home is just awful. There's only so much housework I can do!

Apologies, that turned into a long post... guess I needed to vent :)

I'm sorry to hear this. I'm in a similar limbo situation, found out on 15 March that my pregnancy wasn't progressing well but had 2 weeks of limbo waiting for a confirmation scan which was last Friday. But it wasn't confirmation of miscarriage, it actually showed a healthy 5 week pregnancy (I should be 9 weeks) so have another week and a half of limbo, I'm back next Wednesday but I think I'm starting to miscarry now.

I've been to a coffee shop with my book today, I agree, hanging around at home doesn't help.

Sending best wishes

Hello and sorry both, for your limbo experience. In all, my miscarriage took 4 weeks to complete and I had 2 attempts with different procedures. The only upside I could find to this was that I just had to fully be in the moment and go with what my body was doing, and I think this meant I felt more connected to my body, the baby I lost, to my husband and my grief. I did my grieving and my processing in that intense and surreal time. When the bleeding had finally stopped and I got my negative preg test - and later when I got my period- I felt I had fully processed the experience. I know that every experience is different. Sometimes distraction is easier than being in your head. I don't know if this is at all helpful but I'm thinking of you and hoping you get clarity soon. X

Thank you to you both. It really is such a bizarre feeling going through all of this. I hadn't even considered anything like this when we decided to start training - its thrown me through a bit of a loop.

How are you doing VenusStarr?

I have had 3 blood tests since the above post - and my levels are rising again. They have doubled in the last week (going now into week 4 since I started miscarrying). I have had no further bleeding since that first week, so I am going to guess that rising levels is not exactly what should be happening.
Spoke to my consultant yesterday and they are completely mystified with what is going on, so back tomorrow for another scan and more blood tests. Starting to feel like a pin cushion!
Signed off yet again, they don't want me travelling too far from the hospital 'just in case' - fingers crossed we get some sort of answer as to what on earth is going on tomorrow.

Hi tess I just read your post how are you doing? I understand your frustration I'm signed off sick till Tuesday I've been off for three weeks at this stage, was back Monday this week but Thursday morning I couldn't go in as too much blood and pain.

I still don't feel it's over and am just trying to listen to my body, have you had a scan to check make sure nothing left over. My scan is on Tuesday and I hop it's done by then.

Yeah as you said there's only so much you can do around the house I've been staying so close to the loo as it seems to come on so sudden and I'm distroyed. I've been bleeding for 12 days now so I think everyone is different. Vent away :) I know I have xxx

Hi,

I thought I'd update as I know there are very few posts and info on here about pregnancy loss and every little snippet of info and others experiences I have been able to find has been a huge comfort to me over the last few weeks.

My Hcg levels had risen yet again on Monday so was booked for an internal scan on Wednesday. Unfortunately i was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy. They believe the clots and bleeding I had at week 5.5 was a miscarriage but that it is likely I conceived twins and the second continued to grow into an ectopic.

I was also diagnosed with internal bleeding due to the pregnancy being at the very top end of my right Fallopian tube which now explains the throbbing pain I had. Because of the internal bleeding I was not a candidate for the medical treatment and they were not comfortable in the wait and see approach as it would likely result in a emergency situation.
So I had keyhole surgery on Thursday to remove the pregnancy, my right fallopian tube and to fix the bleeding.

What's really interesting is that I apparently ovulated only from the left but it was picked up by the right tube (?!) very peculiar but it goes to show how amazing the body really is! And that your tubes can pick up an egg no matter what side you ovulate!

My left tube is very healthy and they have no reason for concern about future pregnancies and the success stories I have read from others after loosing a tube has given me hope and comfort.

We are both very sad as it was our first ever pregnancy and of course it has not ended the way we had hoped. But we are relieved to finally have answers and to now be able to move on.

They have sent the tube and pregnancy away for testing as I was just over 10 weeks when I had the op but they are confident it's likely to just be one of those things.

I feel like I have been hit by a bus physically, but emotionally I feel ready to move on and we hope to try for our family again in a few months.

I am so sorry to anyone who has gone through, is going through or has worries about their early pregnancy as i did. But please talk about it, share your experience and listen to your body and your doctors, answers will come and you will all become mummies when the time is right. It will happen, I am confident we will get our baby, it just sadly wasn't meant to be this time.

If anyone has any questions about my experience or the surgery, please do comment. Listening to others and being able to ask about their experiences has hugely helped me, so if I can help you I would love to.

Thanks for reading x

I'm sorry to hear all that it sounds like you've been through the mill. Did you have shoulder pain? I did two weeks ago and brought myself to ER as I've read it can be sign of eptopic/internal bleeding. I actually thought it was twins when I found out I was pregnant.

Thanks for sharing TizzyTess x was it the internal scan that showed the eptopic? Is the hcg tested in bloods? I was just told to go away and come back in two weeks which will be on Tuesday or if I've have severe bleeding etc not much info but they did say when I went to ER that something was dropping maybe hcg I was alone and in an in panic so everything a blur xxx

So sorry to hear you have been told to wait. The waiting is so difficult but until Hcg levels (pregnancy hormones) are high enough there is little that can been seen on a scan.
Have you had your levels tested again? In a miscarriage they should be static then drop as your body continues to remove the pregnancy. My first scan at 5.5 weeks showed a pregnancy of unknown location which they said was purely because i was too early to see anything going on. So they continued with blood tests instead.

I had my Hcg levels tested every 2 days to begin with but they were static, then went down and little, then every 7 days for two weeks and that was when the became suspicious of the ectopic because they were then rising and not going down. And I was told not to travel anywhere and to stay close to the hospital in case I became symptomatic but they couldn't confirm it for sure.

I had no shoulder pain, no nausea or anything that is typical or textbook. Just an annoying ache on my lower left side, a bit like a cramp but it was a low pain that I was able to ignore quite easily. And after week 7 no more bleeding at all.
I actually had no pain at all, even when they poked or prodded me on the right hand side where the ectopic actually was.

Do you still have your scan booked for Tuesday? I am sure you will get some more information then.

Yes I have a scan Tuesday, I had an scan last Tuesday to confirm no heartbeat where the baby and everything was still there and one a week previous where they orihinally told me no heartbeat anymore, it was the longest few seconds of my life I had heard the baby's heartbeat weeks earlier. Thanks tess I was just wandering about the twin and eptopic as I feel like I may have something like that and wonder how the found out and it was obvs the hcg. Is the hgc a blood test or urine. I'm sorry youve had to have all this pain it is truly a terrible time xxx

I am so sorry to hear there is no heartbeat. Hopefully your scan on Tuesday will give you more info about what your body is doing. I hope it all happens naturally for you, it's amazing the things our bodies can do and the way it can heal itself.

Hcg is measured in the blood, so it's don't by blood samples to get exact amounts. But will also cause a positive in a pee test if about 15-25 I believe.

You should write down all your questions for Tuesday. I did this and it helped me feel in control at the EPU and made sure I didn't come away with anything unanswered xx

That's a good idea I will do that it is a bit of a blur otherwise, thanks tess I just hope it's all gone by Tuesday and have no remaining as in your case. Everyone and every situation is different but I think once wanted it's traumatic regardless of physical. All the best to you and yours and if you wanna talk I'm here too if you've any questions x take care xxx