Looking for support feeling blue today :(

[Thaimoon]

Hi
We just received news that my HCG is falling, it’s our second pregnancy after losing our first as well around the same time (I would be 6 weeks today) in December. DH and I have been trying for over a year.
The EPU nurse was lovely and I know that early loss is common and am glad we have managed to at least conceive now. But today I just feel so sad and would love to hear from anyone going through the same thing or with encouraging stories. Also, would you have gone back to work or taken some time off? Haven’t even started bleeding yet and can’t face going in tomorrow.

You need time off if that’s what you are feeling. You can self-cert for a week (depending on your job) and should be able to get a sick note from the EPU. They gave me one no bother. I’m so sorry, and you don’t have to play this down because you feel it’s only early or it happens to lots of women. It’s happening to you and you have every right to grieve.

Oh Thaimoon, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I would definitely take time off - I lost my pregnancy at a similar stage five weeks ago through slightly different circumstances (ectopic/ surgery) and I was stunned by just how difficult I found it emotionally, not immediately but shortly afterwards. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself - would you expect your best friend to be OK and go back to work immediately? Thinking of you

Thanks to you both for your kind responses, it’s so nice to hear I’m not alone in feeling like this, though I am so sorry to you both for your losses as well. I’ve been surprised by some people’s comments to me of how early it is “it’s not really a loss before 12 weeks” etc but I will take your advice and let myself grieve xx

@Thaimoon There is no right or wrong in this situation, there is only whatever you're feeling. Take care of yourself and give yourself all the time you need or want, and do ask openly for any support you need. Although, with regard to whichever halfwit had the breathtaking insensitivity to say to you that it's not a real loss before twelve weeks, please do let them know from me that I think they're a total idiot with the emotional intelligence of a house brick

@Thaimoon the same exact thing is happening to me as we speak. I lost the first baby seven weeks ago (mmc at 12 weeks, had to have d&c). Now I am miscarrying again, I think, because hcg and temp are dropping fast. My lines were solid yesterday and barely visible today. I haven't started bleeding yet either and I am praying it starts soon so I can begin to heal again.

Good luck with everything and virtually holding your hand through it X.

Hi, first time posting here... Just knowing that I am not alone today really helps. I was 9 weeks, 2 days with my first ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow morning. Started bleeding and passing large clots last night, had severe cramping and heavy bleeding for several hours... Now just feeling like a normal period. Emotionally I'm a wreck, I can't imagine being able to get back to work today as I'm spontaneously crying and my mood is all over the place. Maybe going back to work would help take my mind off of this, but I couldn't handle it just yet, personally. It is DEFINITELY a loss, whether you are two weeks or twenty weeks. Don't ever let anyone minimize your feelings, you have every right to feel. Some people seem to think that having emotions is some kind of weakness, but nothing could be further from the truth. It takes strength and courage to acknowledge how you really feel, and it only helps to grow. I'm so sorry to anyone going through the pain and heartbreak of a miscarriage. Just remember that the sun always shines after a storm, it may take a bit of time, but brighter days lie ahead.

DuvetCaterpillar that made me smile, you are So right!

Sadtoday I’m so sorry for your loss we are not alone in this and our time will come I know it!

daybyday, for you too and your words are really wise, well said.

Times like these I’m proud to be a woman. Thanks so much to all of you for making me feel so much better and less alone today of all days.

Big love