2 Miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy within a year. Now unable to conceive :(

[Tess90]

Sorry I haven't used anything like this before and usually a very private person but struggling lately trying to cope with whats happened over the last year.
Me and my partner have been together for 10 years this July. I am 28 and he is 34. We only started trying to conceive March 2018. My first pregnancy in April 2018 I didn't realise I was pregnant which soon ended in a miscarriage.
We found out after our holiday in may I was pregnant again. But I was suffering with stomach pain, no bleeding though. The drs advised I had a suspected molar pregnancy and had to have an opperation in June 2018 to have to pregnancy taken away as it was not viable. We was advised we could try again soon after.
We found out in July 2018 I was pregnant a 3rd time. Again I was suffering with stomach pain and feared the worse. My fear was right and I found out I was having an ectopic pregnancy which ended in an opperation in August to remove my left tube where the pregnancy was found.
We waited again as emotionally I wasnt ready. We started to try again in October 2018 as the drs advised we could. With no luck! 6 months later, still no luck. I'm worried I wont conceive now, as before we have been lucky to conceive each time we tried but since my ectopic we haven't been able to conceive.
Drs offered me blood tests at a push, after my ectopic. They tested positive for lupus anticoagulant which they said would be the cause of the miscarriages. They tested again 3 months later to double check and it came back negative. So they now wont offer me anything further. I've been told the ectopic pregnancy has broken the recurrent miscarriages cycle so I would have to have a further 3 miscarriages to be entitled to any further testing.
Feeling even worse today as my period was 2 days late so I was feeling hopeful, but today I have started my period. Never had a late period before so really was hoping for the best news.
Sorry for the long post! Xxx

Your post is eerily similar to my journey!
I had miscarriages in September and December 2017 followed by a ruptured ectopic in January 2018 - left tube removed.

I also tested positive for lupus when I was at university around 10 years ago but had tests in October 2017 after my miscarriage and tests came back negative

I previously had a 12 week miscarriage in 2015 (luckily I did go on to have a child after that) but I had a sympathetic GP and doctors at the early pregnancy unit who saw me through my mc in 2017 and was still referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic even though mine werent back to back.

Since January 2018 we have had zero luck despite 3 pregnancies in the preceding 6 months. I paid privately for follicle tracking scans as I wanted to feel confidant that I was ovulating (I am) and they found my right ovary is the dominant one (ovulate on that side 70% of the time) so you'd think something would have happened by now!

We've now moved on to IVF as I'm 36 and don't feel time on our sides. Our first cycle failed and my egg quality was found to be worse than thought but we ve got a budget for another 2 cycles so 🤞

I would see if you can see another GP who would be willing to refer you? Just keep trying different ones until someone listens - i would also say in my area the wait time from referral to appointment is 4 months through and I found the tests that they did pretty useless. Bloody clotting, thyroid etc - not tailored to the individual and they won't test your partner even though 50% of fertility problems are male factor

I also pushed to get an HSG test on my remaining tube to check for blockages

X

Thank you for the reply. It is comforting to know someone has been through something similar. Strange enough!
It's all been qll over the place, sometimes the drs are great. Sometimes awful. My 2nd miscarriage they suspected a molar pregnancy so had to be operated the same day. When I had the test results back, it was unexplained and they had to put it down to a miscarriage. My ectopic pregnancy, they sent me home as a completed miscarriage. Over a week later i still had pain so my gp sent me for bloods and another scan. That night they called me back to tell me it was an ectopic pregnancy.
Aftercare is non existant. We had to push to be reffered to a specialist. Who was only aloud to test my bloods, not my partners. As they said I shouldnt have been allowed it either but he felt sorry for us. The doctor who we see had was great but there was someone higher above him who didn't see it necessary as I haven't had 3 consecutive miscarriages.
We had a great gp who was very helpful and sympathetic. She reffered us to the right places. She has since left our drs, our new gp not so helpful. So now we have come to a stand still as my bloods came back negative and they wont do anything further. The last specialist we see told us it takes time to conceive and losing a tube should not affect our chances as the remaining tube should move freely to the side that ovulated each month.
Maybe I'm over thinking things? I dont know. Just seems as though something is wrong since my ectopic and its stopping me conceiving. 6 months probably isn't long enough to try but it feels like forever. Every month getting a negative test result.
I'm not sure which is worse, the negative test result or the though of another miscarriage/ectopic.
I feel as though the drs also are not interested in helping because of my age. I'm 28 and they constantly tell me theres plenty of time yet. Which would be fine if we didn't already conceive so quickly the first 3 times.

Wishing you lots of success with your IVF Xx

Hi OP,
So sorry to hear all you've been through. My experience is not exactly the same, but I always fell pregnant within a month or two of trying except after my fourth first trimester miscarriage (and a number of chemical pregnancies) when I didn't fall for over a year. Ended up seeing GP as was terrified one of the ERPCs has caused permanent damage. She started process for testing due to my age, but a couple of months later I was pregnant again and it all appeared to just be one of those things. In retrospect probably did my body good to rest after such a lot of trauma but didn't feel like that at the time.

Was it the hosp who told you had to go through a further 3 miscarriages after the ectopic? I would seek a second opinion on that and check the NICE guidelines as sounds like absolute nonsense to me. I would have thought an ectopic in the mix would make you more, not less, of a priority to see what's going on.
Good luck with it all.

I just wanted to come back and share some positive news that I never thought would happen. But it's been tough getting to where we are so I couldnt share any sooner. Sorry it's a long read!
Our drs refered us for IVF last year after many appointments back an forth he decided I would most likely not conceive naturally with my remaining tube as they thought i had tubal infertility. A week before my first IVF appointment i found out I was pregnant. I had early pregnancy scans from 6 weeks pregnancy until 12 weeks pregnancy with a specialist in Nottingham. Everything was perfect.
We found out in December we was having a little girl. In January this year, at 19 weeks I woke up with slight bleeding on the bed. I didnt realise until I stood up and started getting dressed and then noticed blood on the bed. Then I could feel something running down my leg. I quickly rushed to the toilet but there was a huge gush of blood. I couldnt help but cry, all i could think that I was losing my baby after we had come so far. I was rushed to hospital and admitted for heavy bleeding. I was examined but not scanned as it was a sunday and the scan facility was closed. The dr could see my placenta was low from the examination and said he was unsure where the bleeding was coming from but the baby still had a healthy heart beat on the monitor. They prepared me for a blood transfusion incase I had another heavy bleed. The bleeding had slowed but was still soaking through my clothes and pads. They forewarned me that it was highly likely I would loose the baby as it wasnt looking hopeful with so much bleeding. The next day I was scanned by a sonographer, baby was healthy. Heart beat was strong and not distressed. Bleeding was showing from the placenta, which had now caused a large haematoma. I had no idea what this was but new it wasnt good news. They didnt discuss anything with me, only that the baby was ok for now. I had to go back to the dr on the ward to find out. I was placed on a womans ward, not a pregnancy ward as the pregnancy wasnt far enough along. The dr explained they thought the bleeding was coming from the placenta but couldnt be sure as there was to much bleeding to see exactly where it was coming from. The haematoma was a large blood clot formed from the bleeding but now created more risk. Now I was at risk of losing my baby and bleeding out, possibly losing my life if the haematoma dislodged and the bleeding got heavier. They advised me to go home and take it easy as there was nothing they could do.
I was admitted again at 21 weeks for heavy bleeding and large blood clots. This time the bleeding wasnt as heavy but the blood clots meant the haematoma was coming away. I was allowed on a pregnancy ward this time. A specialist came to see me to give me more bad news, he was adamant I would loose the baby and not carry any further and I should prepare myself. A lovely midwife came to explain it further and what to prepare myself for if I was to miscarry and what the baby would be like. She said it was too early pregnancy still for them to do anything as the baby would be too premature. I was heart broken and couldnt stop crying. Now all I could think about was my baby girl coming too early and not surviving. My bleeding slowed so they allowed me to go home to prepare myself. The dr wanted me to stay but advised this would be my last chance to go home until baby arrived. Because if I had heavy bleeding again then i would me admitted permanently until baby arrives. I was told to go home and take it easy, not to return to work. They also told me i would have to be moved to a specialist hospital when I came back as they couldnt care for a premature baby before 30 weeks. But if the baby came before 27 weeks then no one would help her unless she was born breathing. If she was born not breathing, they were not allowed to resuscitate. Again I was completely heartbroken. I couldnt imagine a positive outcome.
Each week was a milestone for us but still a massive worry. I darent do anything or move to much or walk to far. Every day I woke up dreading I would wake in a pool of blood. Every scan I cried as I was growing so attached to my little girl and could only think I would loose her. We got to February and had another scan to check the haematoma and the position of the placenta. I was still bleeding but not heavy. A few blood clots had been lost but nothing drastic. Finally we had good news! The haematoma had gone and my placenta had moved high up. However, now the bleeding had slowed and the haematoma had gone, they could see the bleeding was due to my placenta coming away. Which again wasnt good news. But they warned me if I carried on taking it easy then hopefully it would be ok. So again all I could do was worry!
Fast forward a few weeks, my bleeding stopped. Which again was a positive. But at 28 weeks I was tested for gestational diabetes and it came back positive. So a new worry to deal with but not as frightening as the last few months. I had more scans due to previous problems and now because of gd. All my scans were now positive news, my baby girl was growing well and healthy. I managed to stay diet controlled with no need for medication so the hospital was happy to leave me to go full term. For some reason I still couldnt shake the feeling I wouldnt get to have my baby girl safe and sound. I was still worried I would loose her even though we got so far. Fast forward a few months, my baby girl decided to arrive earlier than planned. My waters broke at 3am 25th may. Due to covid I was sent home until I was in established labour. I came back at 5PM as my contractions were intense. I had to go in by myself which was so scary after all the problems we had been having. My partner was finally allowed in at 10pm. I had to have the hormone drip as my labour wasnt progressing quick enough and they didnt want to risk going over 24 hours with my waters broken. This made everything so much more intense and the pain was unreal. I knew it would be painful but really wasnt expecting it to be that bad. I had gas an air and an epidural. My baby girl was born 9.53am 26th May. At 38 weeks and 5 days. A healthy 7lbs 2.5oz. She screamed the place down and breast fed straight away. I had to stay for 24hours after due to risk of infection for going over 24hrs since my waters broke and to test babies blood sugars due to gd. She passed her bloods and all the regular baby checks. We left and went home on the 27th may and shes doing amazing! We finally have our rainbow baby, her name is Pixie-Lily.

Sorry for the long read, I just wanted to share this as although we have been through so much heart ache and pain. And although I thought this would never happen. It finally has! It's really hard to think positive during a miscarriage and after, then trying again. But it will happen!

Hi @Tess90 oh my god what a journey you have been on, you seem an amazing, strong woman. Huge congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby girl, Pixie-Lily is clearly a little fighter, just like you xx

Thank you :)

Congratulations! This is amazing and so lovely to read 🌈🌈🌈🌈

Wow what a journey! Congratulations on your baby

@Tess90 omg what a truly terrifying experience for you but I am so glad you got your little baby in the end. Wishing you all the happiness for the future 😘😘xx

Thank you all! I just wanted to share some hope to anyone in a similar situation. I didnt think this would ever happen, I was so depressed and miserable. But finally my turn came xx

@tess90 Congratulations! A lovely positive story 🌈