It's just really hit me. Feeling so depressed

[OhDiddums]

I had miscarriage no. 3 a couple of weeks ago. Bleeding has stopped. All in all I feel okay in myself. But today everything has just hit me. Everything I've lost. Only me and DP are the only ones that know about the 3rd one. Very few people know about the 2nd one. Most close friends and family know about my 1st one. I just feel so hopeless. Just waiting to get a positive opk so we can try again. I told myself that I was okay with this because the timing wasn't great, I'm due to start a new job in a couple of weeks but I'd have taken all of the uncertainty for this baby. Everyone around me either has their children, are about to have a baby. I just feel so alone. All of the people I'd have reached out to aren't options right now... I just guess I need a pep talk, a kick up the arse or something.

I'd have thought you need and deserve sympathy and support, are you getting that in real life? Have you considered contacting someone like the miscarriage association?

It's still very early and very raw for you.

Also, no offence intended but it's not always good to rush into getting pregnant again quickly either emotionally or physically.

Are you being referred for investigators to possibly find a cause? What's your gynae history?

Horrible time for you.

I’m in a similar situation. I fell pregnant in between jobs and got stressed about all the uncertainty. I berate myself for it, not because it caused my miscarriage, but because I’d trade the world for the little life that didn’t make it. It was my second mmc and we don’t have any children (we also have infertility issues) so it’s really hit me hard. Good days and bad days. All our friends have babies conceived easily and without miscarriages and it makes us feel so isolated. But I have confided in a few people and it does feel better. If there isn’t anyone you can speak to right now have you considered counselling, or looking at the advice on the miscarriage association website (they also have a helpline)? If you can’t talk about it right now then perhaps writing down your feelings will help. Please know that what you are feeling is totally normal, it’s part of the grieving process. You will feel better, but it will take time. We are also looking at booking a break for the two of us, a treat to look forward to, and I definitely recommend you do the same if you can. You need to recover and give yourself time. You don’t need a boot up the bum, more like a big hug and some support!

@Graphista thank you. I had a large cyst removed from one ovary 9 years ago along with part of that ovary. One ovary is polycystic although I don't have pcos fortunately. I am waiting laparoscopy and dye test, cystectomy, hysteroscopy and endometrial biopsy for suspected endometriosis. Chances are I do have it as the cyst they have seen they believe is an endometrioma. So my GP feels that is going to help get to the route of the problem. I have lost weight as my bmi was high. I'm just trying to quit smoking but with all of this it makes it really difficult. Maybe I need to be a little kinder to myself. I will definitely consider contacting the miscarriage association. Thank you!

@Mistymeow I'm sorry you're going through this too. 💐
I don't really have many friends I can talk to about this. They are at completely different life stages to me. They either have their little families or are expecting their babies anytime soon. No issues conceiving.

Thank you ladies. I'll definitely consider some help. X

Please do, it's a really rough time you're having.

I have endo too, discovered when I had my 2nd mc.

I do hope you're not smoking while pregnant? That significantly increases the risks and muddies the waters with the medics unfortunately. Healthier for you too to quit of course.

If you are DX with endo there's lots can be done to treat now, hell even nearly 20 years ago when I was first DX.

I had an ovarian torsion and the 2nd mc 1 embryo was ectopic so I was bloody lucky not to lose an ovary/tube.

Even dds pregnancy was problematic in many ways.

Talk to whoever you feel comfortable doing so, I did find it very helpful talking to miscarriage association and others who'd been through similar. While not a club anyone wants to join its also helpful to not feel alone.