Sorry for the long post...
Im posting this as i need to say it somewhere. I attended my 12 week scan 5 days ago and we were told the baby had 8mm fluid surrounding back, neck and abdomen.
From the beginning i have not connected to this pregnancy, i have told only 2 close friends and done everything possible to conceal it. Intuition told me something was wrong.
The scan suggested chromosome issues and i had a scheduled cvs today. However when they resacnned before cvs there was no heartbeat, hydro drops and the baby was filed with fluid. The specialist is going to perform tests to conform but she suspects Edwards syndrome.
I return tomorrow for surgical removal. I have felt nothing this entire pregnancy, like i said i continually just waited confirmation that my intuition was correct and there would never be a baby. Now it has happened i feel incredibly emotional. I refused to take any scan pictures and insisted i wanted the hospital to "deal" with the fetus.
Having told so few people, how do i just carry on as normal now i feel this way? Im am not prepared to announce my pregnancy followed by the news that there will be no baby. Surely people will ask why I'm so emotional?
My husband has been great, however he was expecting cvs to come back clear and this whole thing be a misunderstanding. We both agree, this was the best possible outcome as it removed the difficult choice we were likely to have faced given the extent of the issues or worse a late stage miscarriage or stillbirth. With 3 other healthy children i could not have coped with seeing them suffer this pain.
My eldest is 14 and i have no idea what to tell her the reason for me going to hospital first thing tomorrow. Right now i just wish i could disappear and return when all of it is over.