Help I feel so alone

[chloe120794]

Tomorrow is 4 weeks since my miscarriage and i can’t stop crying. I have no idea who to talk to. my best friend from work has had multiple miscarriages and suffers with a lot of mental health problems and i don’t want to trigger her. my best/oldest school friend has a baby a few days old and obviously her focus is there i don’t want to burden her. my partner didn’t want the baby and discussed abortion and i don’t think he understands how much of a loss this is to me
i’m sat on my own in the dark sobbing my heart out what do i do

Oh Chloe, I'm sorry for your loss. I know what you're going through having lost twins at 19 weeks, two months ago. I have also cried uncontrollably many times, angry with the universe for making me go through this. It's sad that your parntner isn't supportive - if he supportive in other areas of your life? You're feel like you'd be burdening your two friends with this but I don't think you would. I'm sure they'd want to support you through this, especially as your best friend know how this feels. I'd leave the friend who's just had a baby for a while. She will be incredibly tired and - I hope - in a bubble of happiness yet dealing with alsorts of emotions already (good and bad) but tell her soon - I'm sure she'd want to know, especially if she knew you were pregnant to begin with. You could also consider counselling to help you with the grief you're experiencing. Lastly, you need to ask yourself if your partner is 'the one' for you at this time in your life. I'm not saying he isn't, but his lack of support is something you need to consider too.

Hugs

thank you so much for replying i feel like the only person on the planet right now or like i’ve fallen down a 10000ft well with no one around to hear me shouting
such a surreal feeling
i am also so sorry for your loss and know there’s nothing i can do or say to help ☹️

Hi chloe,
So sorry for your loss. Squiff has given you some great advice. Do have a look around some of the different threads here as there are many of us in the same boat as you, you are not alone even though you may feel that way right now.

This won't help tonight but the Miscarriage Association has a helpline that you can call if you feel you need someone to talk to who understands. I have heard they are good:
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk
01924 200799
Their website says they are available Mon-Fri 9am-4pm. You can email them too.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, and sorry you don't have the support you desire/need from your partner.

I was 8 weeks last week when we found out there was no heart beat, therefore resulting in a missed miscarriage. My bleeding happened yesterday over an overwhelming 4 hours before it subsided to something more manageable and less terrifying.

Unlike yourself, I do have a lot of support, I have multiple friends and family members texting to check I'm okay, sending flowers etc BUT that doesn't necessarily make this any easier. I still sit here all day thinking about it, feeling alone and isolated. I feel like there's no escaping it regardless of how many friends you have on standby. As amazing as my husband has been, he has no idea and is only hurting because I'm hurting.. not because of the loss. It's so different for the blokes than it is for us, even with pregnancy.

I encourage you to use forums like these, we may be complete strangers but we all know what that hurt feels like and how real and raw it is. I can't imagine having to go through this silently so please feel free to message me if you're not comfortable chatting openly on here, even though it's a safe place x

Hi chlo,

Please feel free to message me if you want. I'm feeling the same after two miscarriages and one ectopic. Still off work currently and it feels like the loneliest time.

I remember my first misscarriage like it was yesterday, I was so heartbroken for weeks, I had so many heartbreaking comments said to me " your losing it" " you need to get a grip on your emotions"

Everything your going through is perfectly natural and as awful as it is, you will get more used to it as time goes. Sending hugs 🌸