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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Post mortem results are back early...

15 replies

Squiff70 · 05/03/2019 18:20

Hi everyone.

In January I lost twins at 19 weeks - I started bleeding one night so we went to the hospital where they found both babies' hearts had stopped. They were deliered the next morning.

We signed content forms for both babies for full post mortems becuse if they can possibly find out why our babies died, we want to know. We were told the PM results would take 3-4 MONTHS to come back. This morning the bereavement midwives called us to say the results are back and that the consultant is going to call us in to speak to him at some point this month.

We're confused. The babies were born 7 weeks ago so it's only two months. Is this a sign that they've found something... or a sign they've found nothing? Maybe we shouldn't be reading anything into it because speculating ties us in knots and sends us round in circles.

Has anyone been through this process who can shed any light, please?

OP posts:

Italiangreyhound · 05/03/2019 18:45

I've not been through ygis but my heart goes out to you.

IMHO if you can bear to, don't speculate. Just wait for the appointment. I know tgis mist be a terrible time but speculating won't help either of you.

Support each other, as I am sure you are doing, be kind to yourselves.

Hand holding available. Xx

Ithinkthatsenough · 05/03/2019 20:44

Hi, i’m in a similar position, delivered at 16 weeks and waiting for pm results. Told 3 months and at around 2 1/2 ans havent heard anything yet. Sorry of no real help but thinking of you x

Original poster

Squiff70 · 05/03/2019 20:54

@Italiangreyhound - thank you for your kind words. It's so hard not to speculate but I keep telling my partner we really shouldn't as it could mean literally anything.

@Ithinkthatsenough - I'm so sorry you're going through this too. It's agony not knowing. If you want somebody to chat to who understands a bit of your pain I'm just a PM away x

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blackcoffeeinbed · 05/03/2019 20:59

I'm so sorry for your loss, I understand your heartache after losing my daughter at 21 weeks nearly 2 years ago. We were told 6 weeks for the PM results and that was pretty much what we did wait. I would imagine the wait varies hospital to hospital depending on how busy the work loads are, and that they give you the maximum it should take incase it does take that long. I wouldn't read too much into thinking why they have come back quicker, it's perhaps just a quieter period for them? I know how anxious you must be feeling to get some answers, being honest they won't make you feel any better about what you have been through but will hopefully help you understand why you and your sons have gone through this. I hope you get your answers, my thoughts are with you and your angels.

Italiangreyhound · 05/03/2019 21:11

Ithinkthatsenough I'm so sorry for your loss, and again for you OP.

NorthernLurker · 05/03/2019 21:18

I'm very sorry for your losses. How hard for you both.

As I understand it a post mortem isn't usually an exhaustive investigation. They look until they find something which explains what happened. If they don't find something they test again and again until they either find something or have exhausted the tests possible. You were given the longest timescale, it may be that it's shorter because the answer was quick to find but FWIW my friend who lost a baby at the same age was able to hold the funeral less than two months later and a pm gave them no answers.

I would try to focus on at least you will hear soon and that takes you a bit further in your journey of grieving your babies.

Original poster

Squiff70 · 05/03/2019 21:21

@blackcoffeeinbed I'm so sorry to hear you've been through this too. Do you mind sharing the cause of your daughter's death? Our son and daughter (not two sons) seemed healthy just days before their hearts stopped so we're confused as to why we ost them both at the same time. They were fine then their hearts just stopped.

OP posts:

Original poster

Squiff70 · 05/03/2019 21:23

@NorthernLurker I'm sorry to hear your friend went through this too. We were abl to have a funeral for our babes as soon as the babies were back from the post mortem which took three weeks (since they were delivered to them being back). We haven't had to wait for the PM results before having a funeral thankfully.

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blackcoffeeinbed · 05/03/2019 22:06

I'd had complications from 6 weeks, I'd had heavy bleeds due to a subchronic hematoma which was detected immediately on scans. The clots got worse over time and eventually caused my placenta to detach. It was literally the worst thing I've ever had to go through, We always knew there was going to be the chance that it could cause miscarriage, the bleeds we're getting worse and worse. 5 days before I went into labour I'd had one so bad I had to have a blood transfusion. I never gave up hoping that she would make it to a point at least that she could be helped, and if I'm honest for the torture I lived all those months I felt and still do feel totally robbed and taunted. I knew after going through that what to expect with her PM results, she was perfect and had she of made it she'd of been a healthy baby girl.

We had her cremated 4 weeks after her passing, she's at home where she belongs and I talk to her and tell her how much I love and miss her everyday. I remember the day I collected her ashes, I was so relieved to know she was with me and not being left with strangers anymore. 2 years on its as raw as it was the day I had to say goodbye, I can still smell her and feel her soft skin. I wouldn't give that up though, il treasure the heartbreak forever because it's all I have of her. I'm proud to say I'm a mummy of an angel because I'm proud of having her.

I know it's a lot different for you right now as you have little idea of what has gone so wrong for you and your boys, and I honestly hope that whatever it was could be found and that you will have your answers soon. I'd say try not to over think it but I know that every tiny thing will be taking over right now, and that your trying to make heads and tales of how you've ended up in this awful reality. Perhaps when you know you can learn to accept nature which is how I look at it as for all the blaming of myself I have done deep down I know that it was just nature and I couldn't of done anything differently to of saved my daughter, and just grieve for your babies. Sending hugs and I hope you will update this thread when you find out what happened xx

blackcoffeeinbed · 05/03/2019 22:08

Sorry son and daughter 💙💜

Ithinkthatsenough · 06/03/2019 08:52

I’m so sorry @blackcoffeeinbed xxx
I remembered last night that the midwife told me they prioritise later losses, thats why i could expect to wait 3 months as i was only 16 weeks x
I had another loss at 12+2 last year after a good scan... no pm them as it was put down to bad luck... this time i went further so they are investigating.
I had my bloods back after i went in for a d and c and they said i have Factor V leiden, an inherited gene mutation which can cause the blood to clot. Bit of a shock as i already have dc’s and easy pregancies. I dont know that this was the cause, and maybe we’ll never know but at least next time, if we try again, i will hopefully see a consultant etc x

Original poster

Squiff70 · 06/03/2019 14:33

So sorry to hear tyou've been through something similar @blackcoffeeinbed. Your daughter sounds beautiful from how you've described her. Did you name her?

I do, honestly, feel your pain. We're full of what COULD have and SHOULD have been, but equally accept that it wasn't to be, for reasons still unknown to us.

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Original poster

Squiff70 · 06/03/2019 14:35

@Ithinkthatsenough your two losses must be agony for you. I do hope you'll hear back fro mthe PM soon and get some answers to your many questions.

I will update this thread after we've seen the consultant but it might not be for a couple of weeks or so as we don't know when this appointment is going to be yet.

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Original poster

Squiff70 · 04/04/2019 17:56

Hi everyone,

The PM result showed both babies died of placental abruption. Whilst this is devastating to lose two otherwise healthy babies, in a way it's good news as it means nothing genetic went wrong.

Praying anyone else in a similar situation get the answers to some of thoe agonsing unanswered questions. I still can't and haven't got my head round what happened.

OP posts:

Mrsoh39 · 04/04/2019 18:01

for you op, at least you have your answer now xx

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