Surprised by the pain

[northdownmummy]

I'm sitting here in an airport with silent tears rolling down my face. Waiting for my bag to arrive I went to the loo and like a punch in the stomach remembered that this was the same cubicle where I first saw that tiny red mark on my pants. And today is the 4th anniversary of the due date for that pregnancy.
I was 10 weeks when I miscarried, I've since had a wee girl whose a bundle of mischief. Love her to bits and know that 8f I hadn't miscarried she wouldn't be her.. does that even make sense
But this morning, after a long flight I'm just so sad, not thought about it for such a long time and this has taken me totally by surprise

OP, a big hug to you. I’m so sorry for your loss and I think completely normal for it to hit you at times like this.

Take good care of yourself. X

It's normal but yes I agree that your child /my children I have now may not have been born and that far outweighs the 'what could have beens' I think about this a lot and it's funny, now my children are older, 6&10, I have to be a bit careful talking about how many children I wanted/ miscarriages I had, just so they don't think too deeply that they may not have been born if it had t been for miscarriages - I generally just say that they were meant to be' the other babies weren't

Or sometimes I say 'oh you may have been born earlier so would have been 12 now ...Iyswim

Enjoy your baby, don't reflect on the past, look forwards to the future

I’m so sorry for your loss. It makes sense. And I’m exactly the same with my previous mmc and most likely will be this time around. I just say they were all too precious for this earth now, all lost babies. They’ll still be our babies even though they aren’t physically with us they’re in our hearts and it’s only natural at the time they were taken and were due to be top of your thoughts. I do agree with PP, enjoy your baby and although you’ll have days when you feel sad it is normal but keep looking forward and try be positive hun. Hugs xxx

I think anniversaries can be unexpectedly painful. Take care x