Miscarriage

[Flyingjets13]

Hello I've been trying to conceive for 2yrs. I've been diagnosed with pcos. Over 1year ago, ive had 2months meterfofmin. 7months of clomid. And 1month of letrozole which I found out I was pregnant on Halloween. We was completely over the moon. For it all to come crashing down 1st December. I started spotting which got heavier. I went for private scan to be told, there was nothing there. I was bleeding heavily so I was sent straight to a&e. To be told I had not had miscarriage due to closed cervix. I had bloods took. Had to wait two gruelling days to find out, what my HCG level was measuring at. I knew deep down my baby was gone. I had the phone call to say my hcg had gone from 700 to 80. With in two days. So it confirmed miscarriage. We was and still are devastated. It's been months and I'm still not fully over it. I have a sister who is about to give birth next month. Another sister as just found out she is expecting twins after only trying for couple of months, she is due in August.The Month after I was due. I just feel like it's so unfair. I feel completely alone all the time. Wondering if I will ever get pregnant again. Will it get easier? Rachel

Yes it will get easier!!
You got pregnant, so you can again.
I lost 3 before conceiving via IVF.. you're a long way from the end of the road and it's totally upto you how far you go and how long for.
People play miscarriages down, make out it's not big deal, especially so early on, but it's devastating and you've lost everything you were dreaming for and that is so hard! Let yourself grieve.. be open and honest with people. It's ok to be upset about others getting pregnant and having babies.. doesn't make you a bad person. You will get over those feelings. Everything your experiencing is totally normal
I hope you get your happy ending x

Thanks for your support. I’m hoping mumsnet will help me. As my own mother suggested talking to someone who’s been through it, as she’s feeling guilty of not being able to help more. Hopefully I get my happy ending xxx

For me personally I got through it by thinking everything happens for a reason and just never letting myself believe it would never happen. You have to keep believing or it gets hard! I tried for 5 years. Some days are harder than others.. just be kind to yourself! X

Some days are so hard, I hope I'm not going to feel like this forever. I've recently tryed 1 moth of letrozole only to get my period a few weeks ago. They've worked once so hopefully they will again. I'm waiting to find out if I'm entitled to ivf funding from NHS.

Hi Flyingjets13,

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this.

I understand your situation, think the month I miscarried, my sister in law got pregnant and my brother kept us updated about the pregnancy. He told us about the first time seeing a heartbeat etc. And my heart absolutely broke at that point. I said to my husband we never saw the heartbeat, in fact, we never saw anything which made me feel like I imagined the whole thing. Then I got pregnant the second time without a period in-between where I was told my cervix was closed but had HCG measured. It wasn't good news, from finding out to having the miscarriage was within the week. Seven months later down the line I got pregnant again and everything from HCG level and seeing the heartbeat this time at six weeks. Nothing was to say it was going wrong until I felt like I really needed to be reassured and booked a private scan to find that the baby had no heartbeat and stopped growing. My body didn't realise and hadn't miscarried and I had medical management two weeks ago. It is one of the loneliest types of grieve you can go through. The world feels like it's stopped whilst everyone is carrying on.

Will it get easier? Yes.

intially after my first one, I could keep my cool very well and then because the first and second was so close it really broke me. But months down the line, I felt more positive.. not long after, I got pregnant and to go through this turmoil now again.. initially I was like I am not doing this ever again but quickly that turned to I know it will be worth it. I'm not quite there yet but I know I will be better soon. We will both get our happy ending but look after yourself even when you really don't want to.. It's a shit situation and don't let anyone under play that!

It’s hard. Harder than anything should be. It’s okay for it to feel like that xx

Thanks so much for your kind words. It seems more woman than I thought are going through difficult times too. My husband is very hard, as in come on get on with it. So I feel like it's hard to talk to him. As I do need to get on with it. I just feel like I get over one hurdle, then another friend is pregnant. It starts all over again.

Completely agree.. as soon as you feel somewhat better, boom,, another pregnancy announcement, right ?

And yes.. initially I've only heard from women who tells me they got pregnant when they wanted to, like straight away and no problems in their pregnancy.. miscarriages are definitely not talked about enough..

Take as much time as you need and no one should expect you to just get on with it. It's a loss - I'm sorry that you don't feel the support at home, that's so hard in such a difficult time. I really feel for you. Sending virtual hugs your way and to the other girlies on here.

I'm sorry for your loss. Grief is so difficult and personal, so do whatever you need to get through one day at a time. People will understand if you can't be around their babies right now. For those you haven't told, perhaps feign illness.

I had some procedures (polyps etc), went on clomid and was told that we had about three months for things to work, or else we'd need ivf. About four months later I fell pregnant, booked a day off work for my 12 week scan and unfortunately started miscarrying the evening before the scan. I fell pregnant again and lost that baby too, much earlier on. I would burst into tears walking past a toy shop, tried to avoid seeing friends with babies for a while, until I felt able to cope again. I swear I saw more buggies and babies than I thought possible - they seemed to be everywhere. I didn't resent them having children, I just yearned for the ones I had lost and was too raw. I then went on to have a natural, healthy pregnancy, although was pretty anxious throughout, booking for private scans on a regular basis for reassurance. I then fell pregnant naturally again shortly after - again successful.

I have two lovely children, after being told it was unlikely to happen if we didn't conceive within three months. I fell pregnant again last year, but lost him (don't know why I think it was a him as miscarried before scan) and am sadly approaching the due date. I held a friend's newborn the other day which was a bit hard, given my due date is approaching, but mostly lovely as she had had a horrid journey to pregnancy, also miscarried and was worried this baby would be lost too.
I wish you all the best OP.

Hi ladies, I'm just reading this thread having just found out I've had a mmc at 8.4 weeks. It's horrible anyone going through this but it's comforting to know that I'm not alone. I'm just devastated but I'm going to have to put on a brave face and plod on somehow. I'm 40 now and this was our last chance baby (and maybe the reason I've miscarriaged) but it's so hard knowing that this is probably the end of the road for me in terms of another baby😔. I've decided to have it surgically removed so I'm waiting to hear back from the hospital for a date. Hugs to all the ladies out there going through this it's more painful than I could have imagined 💐💜 xx