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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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9 months after miscarriage

3 replies

Lolly2019 · 22/02/2019 07:57

Hi all,

So I miscarried 9 months ago back in May. I have done nothing but think about it every day and night since. I cry every night. I feel like i go through certain periods where it gets better but then as soon as someone announces a pregnancy I start the whole greeting process again along with jealously and hate. I really can’t help it. I would have thought this far down the line that things would have got easyer but they are not. My want for a baby is more than ever and then when I think about my 3 miscarriages it just puts me into a sort of depression. I think I may need to start counciling.

Any thoughts xxx

OP posts:
Skybooks · 22/02/2019 16:32

I'm so sorry you feel like this, I feel the same and I've 'only had 1 miscarriage.

Unfortunately I can't make you feel better.

Have you spoken to anyone about your feelings, counselling could really help. I'm an advocate of crying when you need to but it has made me sadder recently so I'm trying the stuff upper lip treatment atvthe moment.

Other people pregnancies really upset me too but I'm happy for them really as I love babies.

Sorry I can't be more help

SaltK · 24/02/2019 19:55

I'm sorry you're going through this, OP. I've had 5 miscarriages and have felt exactly like you. It was in my thoughts for months (years!) on end, I cried all the time, other people's pregnancies opened the wound again and again.

I would strongly recommend you get some counselling from someone with experience in pregnancy loss, if possible. Go and ask your GP what services are available, and if there's an obs&gynae mental health team in your NHS Trust. I had a lot of counselling and it honestly changed things massively for me. Obviously, it was still difficult but I coped much better and got to a point where I could feel positive about the future, even though I didn't know if I'd ever have a baby. It felt endless when I was in the middle of it, and like you I kept thinking it would get easier but it didn't for a long time. But it did in the end. Don't beat yourself up about how you feel, it's an awful thing you're going through and it's very difficult to process the complex grief, and even more so when the future is uncertain.

I'd also recommend getting any medical questions answered and having any tests that might be offered, if you think this would help you cope with what's happening.

Take care of yourself, it really is the most heartbreaking situation to be in. If it helps, my 6th pregnancy was successful, no treatment, just luck. xx

Ells0204 · 26/02/2019 14:39

I am fast approaching 1 year since my last MC and last week I had the biggest breakdown I’ve had since. Perhaps bottling it up for too long, perhaps it’s because I’ve tried every single month to get pregnant again since and nothing.
What I’m trying to say is...I’m a year on and really I don’t think it’s got any easier. I think this is because it’s now teamed with the stress, anxiety and depression of not managing to conceive since. I thought I’d be pregnant again by now and honestly I think that’s the only thing that’ll help this to all go away.
Same boat as you, no advice that’ll help but just to know how you feel is 100% ok and normal and you’re not alone.
For the first time since it all happened, I am now properly considering counselling too.
Good luck Flowers

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