I'm sorry you're going through this, OP. I've had 5 miscarriages and have felt exactly like you. It was in my thoughts for months (years!) on end, I cried all the time, other people's pregnancies opened the wound again and again.
I would strongly recommend you get some counselling from someone with experience in pregnancy loss, if possible. Go and ask your GP what services are available, and if there's an obs&gynae mental health team in your NHS Trust. I had a lot of counselling and it honestly changed things massively for me. Obviously, it was still difficult but I coped much better and got to a point where I could feel positive about the future, even though I didn't know if I'd ever have a baby. It felt endless when I was in the middle of it, and like you I kept thinking it would get easier but it didn't for a long time. But it did in the end. Don't beat yourself up about how you feel, it's an awful thing you're going through and it's very difficult to process the complex grief, and even more so when the future is uncertain.
I'd also recommend getting any medical questions answered and having any tests that might be offered, if you think this would help you cope with what's happening.
Take care of yourself, it really is the most heartbreaking situation to be in. If it helps, my 6th pregnancy was successful, no treatment, just luck. xx