Hi everyone,
I’m new to Mumsnet, but just wanted to get my experience off my chest and to see if anyone else is going through a similar thing or has any advice.
In November, my husband and I decided to start trying for our first baby. By some sort of miracle, we did a test after 1 month of trying and it came back positive. We were both over the moon.
The next few months have been very exciting. We told our parents, and the people who needed to know at our workplaces, but decided to wait until after the 12 week scan to tell the rest of our family and friends.
So far I have had what I would consider a normal pregnancy (this is my first, so I have nothing to compare it to). I have felt extremely tired, have gone off certain foods, and have felt nauseous throughout the day, although I haven’t actually been sick. I haven’t had any bleeding or spotting at all throughout the entire 12 weeks.
This Tuesday, we went for our 12 week scan. Very excited to see our little baby for the first time.
Things didn’t go as planned. The sonographer began the ultrasound but after only a few quick seconds she switched the screen off - I could see that there was nothing visible there. She asked if we were sure on the dates, and I said we were - it had been 12 weeks since my LMP, and 8 weeks since positive test. So she said she needed to perform an internal scan. We knew something was wrong then.
I couldn’t see the screen, but she was looking for quite a while. The room was entirely silent, and I just remember staring at the ceiling, knowing we were about to hear the worst. After what felt like ages, she eventually said that she was sorry but it looked like the baby had stopped developing very early on, and there was no detectable heartbeat.
She left us alone for a few minutes, and when she came back she said that I would have to come back for another scan in two weeks time. She told us that she had seen 2 yolk sacs inside 1 gestational sac. One of the yolk sacs was enlarged and contained a fetal pole measuring 5.7mm. She believed the scan showed ‘an early demise of a twin pregnancy’. I have since googled this, and from her description it sounds like it would have been identical twins.
She took us up to what was called the ‘jasmine unit’ at the hospital, where we had to wait quite a while to see someone. We had no idea what this was for, and we both just wanted to get out of there at this point. The lady we saw here wasn’t very sympathetic, and began by asking us some very matter of fact questions - all of which I had already answered at my booking appointment, which she had on the notes in front of her. Things like my DOB, family medical history, whether I smoke, drink alcohol, do drugs - I don’t of course.
She told us to come back on the 19th Feb for another scan, then chucked some leaflets about miscarriage our way and was rushing us out the door. I tried to ask some questions about what it all meant, and if there was a chance that things might be okay if I had to come back for another scan. She said the baby had been sized at 6 weeks, and the 2nd scan was to check on progress and confirm the miscarriage.
She said I might miscarry at some point over the next two weeks, before the scan. But didn’t tell me what to expect. It was 4:15 by this pint, and she finished at 4pm, so there was no doubt she wanted to hurry home.
My husband and I left feeling devastated and confused. I still don’t feel any different than before my scan. I don’t know whether to feel hope that there could be a tiny chance that things might work out, or reside myself to the fact that my baby hasdied. The thought of that is awful.
The not knowing is what hurts the most, and the shock of finding out. I’ve been walking around thinking everything is great, when that couldn’t have been further from the truth :(
Anyway, I just wanted to share my story so far and get everything out there. It might help me feel a tiny bit better, who knows!
I didn’t even know that a ‘missed miscarriage’ was a thing. No one talks about it do they :( I’m not sure what to expect now, and how long things could take to happen x
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Missed miscarriage - what to expect?
5 replies
Babydreams2019 · 08/02/2019 11:22
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