Please or to access all these features

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Lying in what should be my babies room while toddler refuses to sleep

44 replies

Bluebelltulip · 28/01/2019 02:55

My second daughter was still born on Thursday at 32 weeks. I am currently lying on the bed in the room which was in the process of being converted with half built furniture around me. DH is trying to get our 2 year old DD back to sleep in our room. My body hurts and I just want my baby.

OP posts:
EmilyGilmoresCocktailTrolley · 28/01/2019 05:48

@Justagirlwholovesaboy I'm sorry you had a difficult time because of your family dynamics after a loss however this is neither the time nor the place to make this all about you. You come across as callous and cruel. I would suggest you seek help or support if you genuinely feel your comments could have been construed as helpful to a recently bereaved mother.

@Bluebelltulip I am so very very sorry for your loss. I too am part of this unspeakably cruel club. We lost our little boy at full term last year and at the time had an almost-3-year-old. It is such early days and you are doing amazingly well for reaching out into the world when I imagine a lot of time it feels difficult even to breathe.

Like referenced in a pp, I found having my daughter to care for brought very mixed emotions - and benefits and 'pitfalls'. It is easy to try to bury your grief looking after another child. The practical wheels which have to keep turning may help you continue to function but it's also very easy to put all your energy into that side of things at the expense of really surrendering to your grief (which I would argue is important.). Having said that, just snuggling up either with her alone, or as a family, was one of the only things that helped in the early days - it felt healing when words and others actions felt impossible.

Echoing a pp again, I would also recommend considering offers from others to care for your older DD so you can spend some time alone with your partner if you think it might help. We did this and while it was difficult to leave her, it allowed us to grieve completely openly and focus on our son in exclusion for a couple of days.

Please be gentle with yourself. It is so very early. You are healing physically from birth as well as undergoing one of the most traumatic events possible for a mother. SANDS and Tommy's were amazing resources for me in the early days and beyond. They have great resources on talking to children about loss as well, in case you are still navigating the process with your DD.

I realise you didn't ask explicitly for advice so I hope you don't mind sharing my experiences of what helped. These are all things I wish someone had told/advised me at the time, even if I didn't take any/all of the suggestions.

Finally, of course you want your baby. She is your daughter, and was dreamed of and loved from the moment you knew you were pregnant, and I'm sure before. Your emotions are completely natural and nine months later I still get moments where I think exactly this - that I just want my baby where he should be. I will say that emotions change and develop over time, and for me, things have become easier, more manageable. Not because it's any less horrific a loss now, but because in time I have found ways to cope, to remember, to channel my feelings. One of those has been to find parents in a similar position who can offer support and wisdom - and to try to help others in some small way myself. So please reach out if you think that would help - to me (DM me anytime) or others on the thread who have offered - or through social media. There are amazing groups on FB, resources on Instagram, and blogs out there which will make you feel less alone.

Apologies for the long message but I hope even a small portion might be of use to you now or one day.

Sending you and all of your family much love xx.

Kikipost · 28/01/2019 06:11

Such a shame some silly focus on the title

I am so so sorry OP

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 28/01/2019 06:16

I am so sorry for your loss, love. Flowers

Bobfossil2 · 28/01/2019 06:16

I am hoping OP learns to move on

@Justagirlwholovesaboy The OP lost her child a few days ago. Fuck off with the ‘moving on’ bullshit.

OP, I am so so sorry for your loss. That is so horribly awful. You will always be her mummy and she will always be your little girl; I am so sorry that life is so cruel and unfair.

Bluebelltulip · 28/01/2019 12:23

Once DD had gone back to sleep both me and DH had a cry and a talk. Lots of snuggling on the sofa this morning. Thank you for the kind messages.

OP posts:
Pigletthedog · 28/01/2019 12:41

Bless you OP, I'm sending you much love. I hope you and your DH can find strength in each other xx

InDreamland · 28/01/2019 21:39

I'm so so sorry for your loss OP. Sending you and your family lots of love and hugs. Please take all the time you need to heal emotionally and physically from this and when you're ready maybe look into counselling. This is just so sad Flowers

SleepDeprivedCabbageBrain · 28/01/2019 21:44

I'm really so sorry that your second daughter is not with you Flowers. Would you like to share something about her with us (if you feel comfortable)?

Lbwestf123 · 28/01/2019 21:49

Another club member 😔

It helped me to just cry my eyes out listening to sad baby loss music (torturous I know) on YouTube till nothing more came out. 😨

danni0509 · 28/01/2019 21:50

Bless you OP Thanks

WineGummyBear · 28/01/2019 21:53
Flowers

So sorry for your loss OP. X

DustyMcDustbuster · 28/01/2019 21:53

I'm just here to send you hugs & love. Look after yourself. Thanks

SylvanianFrenemies · 28/01/2019 21:54

I'm so sorry OP.

SylvanianFrenemies · 28/01/2019 21:57

Ah @lbwestf123 there is something about music. I recently lost my son at 18 weeks and find almost any music can make me cry right now. Sometimes it is needed.

SylvanianFrenemies · 28/01/2019 21:58

*18 weeks pregnant

Lbwestf123 · 28/01/2019 22:01

@sylvanianfrenemies 100%.
It’s been 8 months now and some songs I cannot listen to at all anymore but they helped me. Now they just bring up to much pain. Especially Gary bloody Barlow!

WTBE · 28/01/2019 22:57

Bless you OP Flowers

And to everyone who has gone through similar, absolutely tragic Flowers

cheeseislife8 · 29/01/2019 12:49

So so sorry for your loss OP Flowers

Bluebelltulip · 29/01/2019 14:24

@SlyvarinFrenimies I said a very similar thing to DH when I was picking music to wash up to. I may as well listen to music that fits my mood as listening to happy people was just as likely to make me cry.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.